Grade 3: Recess. I touched a girls chest playing tag, I guess? I don't remember doing it and it must have been completely accidental, but the grade 5 teacher told me she wasnt going to call the police on me this time but next time most definitely. I was so confused.
I think you can trust reviews as long as you understand that what you're reading is indicative of the quality the game if it works as intended. You just have to shift your thinking to always waiting to buy a game you're interested in a few days after launch. You do, however, make salient points.
Eh, it's a Ubisoft game so you already know how it's going to play. It'll be fun but lack a strong gameplay identity. Ubisoft is the Billboard Top 40 of publishers: Their games are catchy but they all remind you of each other. From AC to Splinter Cell to what Watch Dogs appears to be, these games all trend towards samey action trappings with solid blockbuster storylines. It'll be pretty good but not revelatory. Ubisoft just doesn't do revelatory.