By BrickRoad 16 Comments
Is video games really making us stupid? Are their subliminal butchery seeping into our already government zapped brains?
Or are they harmless to anyone remotely resembling a normal human being, and helping us forget the world is a bit shit for a while?
Let’s find out in todays:
“I play games and I’m not stupid,” I hear you cry – well don’t. Crying is for babies and pathologically subnormal individuals. You are stupid and you’ll just have to live with it. Why are you stupid? If you’re asking that, then you’re probably the stupidest of them all.
If cartridges and game packs are to blame for internet forum memes like “That’s million bucks” then it’s too late for the likes of you and me, brought up in a time where the effects of virtualised games were not apparent. However in today’s media savvy world the badness done by these so called ‘entertainment’ devices is too uncomfortable to sit with. Like a Large Hadron Collider.
Let’s look at the facts. Before video games were invented humankind had achieved feats as great as landing on the moon and making Nixon’s eyes excrete. But today, intoxicated from game's social numbing, no human has so much as looked at the moon without wondering if an elephant is bigger. Figures suggest it’s only getting worse, and that as video games become more real, our own reality becomes muddled in stupidity.
Todays newspapers are full of headlines such as: Gameboy’s on ‘The Game’, Sonic makes 6 year old boy crush obese man's turtle in jumping frenzy and regrettably Minister sacked for waving Sixaxis at female boobs, a surreal incident where Minister for Outside Activities Mr. David Nown forgot he was at a meeting and started trying to jiggle the breasts of the opposite colleague because he thought she was Rosemary.
It appears our friends at Fox News have been warning us of the sin of video games for years.
You may feel normal. You may even think yourself less aggressive than those you know who don’t play video games. Hey – I feel the same. Is it possible that in our stupidity we’ve just not realised what monsters we really are?
Unfortunately the evidence given to us by the media is so numerous and incomprehensible; the answer appears conveniently to be yes. And there’s nothing we can do about it, other than line up in a nice little queue and ask someone with a bloody powerful sniper rifle to blow our brains to bits and thereby saving us all from our own stupidity.
But wait! Could the abundant media reports be bias, misleading or inaccurate? Did video game players recently help in the fight against AIDs?
Well that’s for you to work out. And if you’re as smart as you look, you may need to put those videoized game units down, and get cleverer.
Thank you, goodbye, and try not to do anything too stupid.