By BrickRoad 8 Comments
SFII is a great game. You don’t think so? Well I don’t like your attitude mister.
The early ‘90s was a horrible time, where people were trying to distance themselves from the ‘80s, but in doing so just came full circle and failed miserably. Luckily Street Fighter II was here to rescue us from our sins without sacrificing itself, unlike someone that lived in 0 BC and shall remain nameless; I’m looking at you Mr. J. Christ.
But Street Fighter II was like that friend of yours who acts normal, and you start to get used to their quirkiness when all of a sudden they go all crazy on you and do something you’ve never seen before. (If you don’t have one of these friends, guess what, you’re the crazy one.)
Sure we’d seen fireballs already at this point, SF had that covered. But SFII was about to get all crazy in its move sets. Here’s my top 5.
(For some reason whenever I try to make a list, it fails to submit, so here it is in blog format)
A Shoryuken is technically possible in real life. We can all jump, and we can all uppercut. A flaming shoryuken? Still possible. Just put on a glove, set it on fire and away you go. It works, just ask my friend one-hand Mike. But the Spinning Bird Kick? That’s crazy. As well as accidently promoting racism and the view that hitting a woman is okay if it’s a street fight, SFII was also telling us that young Chinese women can defy gravity and spin UPSIDE DOWN whilst creating a forward momentum as they kick the gonads outta their opponent. Yatta indeed.
Dhalsim can breathe fire. FIRE. That makes him instantly better than you. I’m sorry but it’s true. But what sets him apart from those fire breathers you see at the circus nobody’s raving about? His limbs stretch. Stretch Armstrong would be jealous of this guy, heck, Neil Armstrong would be jealous, and he’s been to the Moon and back. Dhalsims crazy arms and legs allow him to punch you square in the nose from the other side of the room, and that, my friends, is pretty cool. It’s like One Piece’s Monkey D. Luffy, only better, and I like One Piece.
So you’ve reached the end of SFII. M. Bison (or Vega if you’re from Japan and therefore used to getting the correct and initial or release of everything in the world) awaits you. You’re in control at first, throwing a couple of Hadoukens, whipping out a Tornado kick and then proceeding to think you’re about to beat the game. Until, suddenly... ZOOM! Kay – O. What just happened? Aside from two Earthbound references in a SFII article, you just got your anus handed to you by Bison the Buggerer. Oh, didn’t he tell you? He can FLY THROUGH THE AIR, spinning like a screw whilst engulfing himself in Psycho Power. And to top it all off, he just jumped on your head, and it hurt. Splendid stuff.
Blanka (not Blarn-car, you silly E-mericanz) can make Electricity come out from his body. I don’t think I need to say anymore than that, do I? I mean, just look at the guy. He is the epitome of craziness in SFII. He’s his own power generator, his own cigarette lighter, his own Van Der Graph. This isn’t street fighting, it’s street lighting. Okay that was poor, I know it.