Interactive story #1

You may remember I was trying to improve my writing, and I wrote 3 small stories to that end. Now I've returned, and I'm seeking to do things a little differently. This story will be written by me, but directed by you, the reader. After every chapter I will take suggestions on how to continue. I haven't yet figured out how to best do that, and so for this chapter I will take EVERY suggestion posted below (provided it's not completely bonkers). For now though, enjoy~ 

 
April 4th, 1845.
        Meet Edward Von Rad, Sixteen years of age, and extremely sharp. That is to say, he could've used his features to cut trees. Rather then being a lumberjack though, he worked on his father's farm. He had built up his strength on the farm, though you couldn't tell it from looking at his lean body. And though he was clever, he was mostly untaught, even in this modern age. One day, his father received a letter. The letter asked for one of his sons to work under his brother. Edward's father thought of it as a great place for his son to study under a scholar, and Edward figured it as a great adventure, a few weeks away from this dusty old farm. Oh, how right he was.  

April 9th, 1845. 
      He found his way to his uncle's house without much trouble, despite his father's excellent map-drawing skills. Turning into the street, he spotted one house clearly standing out from the rest. An unkempt lawn and odd contraptions littered the front of the house contrasted starkly with the neatness of the house itself. It featured yellow and orange tones, further differentiating it from the other, more timidly colored houses. Edward ascended the short staircase and reached for the knocker, but before he could reach it, the door had already swung open!
        On the doorstep stood a stout man who seemed to have his hair on upside-down. He used to joke that every time he scratched his head, he pushed his hair down, and every time he twirled his beard in thought, he pulled it out a bit further. This resulted in quite the impressive beard. His face seemed to shine with excitement once he saw who was on his doorstep, and he hollered at the boy “Welcome, welcome!”. He stepped aside and beckoned the boy to come in. “Hello Edward!”. His uncle extended his hand to shake Edward's. “I'm Ralph, you must remember me, right?”. Edward took his hand, ”Uhm, yes, of course... I think.” he mumbled.
        “Ah, good, good.”, Ralph said. “Is that everything you brought?”. Edward looked down at his bag. “My father told me everything would be ready here.”. Ralph nodded, “Right you are.”. He took a step closer. “Now, if you're going to help me, you need to keep a secret.” Ralph looked Edward in the eyes. “Can you do that?”. Edward shot Ralph a curious look, “What kind of secret?”, he asked. “Oh, but, my boy! This discovery will change the field of science in unimaginable ways! In fact, it could change the entire world as we know it! But you MUST not tell anyone before I am ready, do you understand?”. Edward nodded, not really understanding. Whatever this was, it must be big, he figured. He would very much like to find out for himself. “Alright.” Ralph said. “Follow me.”. Ralph led Edward to the back of the house, where, in the library, a small door was located, Ralph unlocked it and almost immediately hot air blasted into Edward's face, making him tear up. “What is down there?” Edward asked. Ralph simply smiled and stepped aside.
       Edward stepped inside, ducking to avoid hitting his head, and across the room, he saw the heat source, a fireplace with a rock in it, heating up. In the middle of the room stood a table, and on it a pile of notebooks, most of them still pristine, some of them heavily used, bended, scribbled on. On the west wall were various tools and a jar of water in the corner. Some cloths and rags were folded on the other corner and some wood was piled up next to the fireplace, but besides that, the room was mostly bare, mirroring the outside of the house.
       Edward turned to face his uncle, “I don't get it....”. Ralph's face beamed excitement, “The fire! It's in the fire” he squeaked. “What?” Edward asked. “Well, the egg of course!” he said while moving around the table and squatting down in front of the fire. “It's a dragon!”. Edward gave his uncle an incredulous look. “I understand, you don't believe me. Well, you'll see soon enough....”

7 Comments
7 Comments
Posted by BronzDragon

You may remember I was trying to improve my writing, and I wrote 3 small stories to that end. Now I've returned, and I'm seeking to do things a little differently. This story will be written by me, but directed by you, the reader. After every chapter I will take suggestions on how to continue. I haven't yet figured out how to best do that, and so for this chapter I will take EVERY suggestion posted below (provided it's not completely bonkers). For now though, enjoy~ 

 
April 4th, 1845.
        Meet Edward Von Rad, Sixteen years of age, and extremely sharp. That is to say, he could've used his features to cut trees. Rather then being a lumberjack though, he worked on his father's farm. He had built up his strength on the farm, though you couldn't tell it from looking at his lean body. And though he was clever, he was mostly untaught, even in this modern age. One day, his father received a letter. The letter asked for one of his sons to work under his brother. Edward's father thought of it as a great place for his son to study under a scholar, and Edward figured it as a great adventure, a few weeks away from this dusty old farm. Oh, how right he was.  

April 9th, 1845. 
      He found his way to his uncle's house without much trouble, despite his father's excellent map-drawing skills. Turning into the street, he spotted one house clearly standing out from the rest. An unkempt lawn and odd contraptions littered the front of the house contrasted starkly with the neatness of the house itself. It featured yellow and orange tones, further differentiating it from the other, more timidly colored houses. Edward ascended the short staircase and reached for the knocker, but before he could reach it, the door had already swung open!
        On the doorstep stood a stout man who seemed to have his hair on upside-down. He used to joke that every time he scratched his head, he pushed his hair down, and every time he twirled his beard in thought, he pulled it out a bit further. This resulted in quite the impressive beard. His face seemed to shine with excitement once he saw who was on his doorstep, and he hollered at the boy “Welcome, welcome!”. He stepped aside and beckoned the boy to come in. “Hello Edward!”. His uncle extended his hand to shake Edward's. “I'm Ralph, you must remember me, right?”. Edward took his hand, ”Uhm, yes, of course... I think.” he mumbled.
        “Ah, good, good.”, Ralph said. “Is that everything you brought?”. Edward looked down at his bag. “My father told me everything would be ready here.”. Ralph nodded, “Right you are.”. He took a step closer. “Now, if you're going to help me, you need to keep a secret.” Ralph looked Edward in the eyes. “Can you do that?”. Edward shot Ralph a curious look, “What kind of secret?”, he asked. “Oh, but, my boy! This discovery will change the field of science in unimaginable ways! In fact, it could change the entire world as we know it! But you MUST not tell anyone before I am ready, do you understand?”. Edward nodded, not really understanding. Whatever this was, it must be big, he figured. He would very much like to find out for himself. “Alright.” Ralph said. “Follow me.”. Ralph led Edward to the back of the house, where, in the library, a small door was located, Ralph unlocked it and almost immediately hot air blasted into Edward's face, making him tear up. “What is down there?” Edward asked. Ralph simply smiled and stepped aside.
       Edward stepped inside, ducking to avoid hitting his head, and across the room, he saw the heat source, a fireplace with a rock in it, heating up. In the middle of the room stood a table, and on it a pile of notebooks, most of them still pristine, some of them heavily used, bended, scribbled on. On the west wall were various tools and a jar of water in the corner. Some cloths and rags were folded on the other corner and some wood was piled up next to the fireplace, but besides that, the room was mostly bare, mirroring the outside of the house.
       Edward turned to face his uncle, “I don't get it....”. Ralph's face beamed excitement, “The fire! It's in the fire” he squeaked. “What?” Edward asked. “Well, the egg of course!” he said while moving around the table and squatting down in front of the fire. “It's a dragon!”. Edward gave his uncle an incredulous look. “I understand, you don't believe me. Well, you'll see soon enough....”

Posted by Halberdierv2

pretty good for a start, should make an interesting read. and yes, your punctuation is pretty much fine.

Posted by BronzDragon

Aria had 2 suggestions for the continuation of the story:
 
1. Include magic.
 
2. include Manfred (the butler).

Posted by Daveyo520

have tons of hot boobs and sex.

Posted by BronzDragon
@Daveyo520: Thanks Daveyo520 >_>
Posted by Daveyo520
@BronzDragon: You are welcome!
Posted by Tiwi

Go into the future, leave this as an intro, and use it later as a reference. create a conspiracy.