Stop me before I buy again...

By buzz_clik July 19, 2009 5 Comments

I have a bit of a problem: I buy a lot of shit.

When I say 'shit', I'm not just talking about a multitude of assorted items. No, I specifically mean I have a weird pecadillo that forces me to buy bad games, despite (or perhaps due to) being aware of their less-than-dazzling reputation. It is for this reason that my game collection sees Kaan the Barbarian butting up against Rez, and the girls of Onechanbara getting cosy with Mass Effect. If there's a dire title out there to be played, there's a part of me that becomes restless about the fact I've not sampled its crapocity yet.

I've put this illogical compulsion down to a few factors:

• On some subconscious level I need a foil to make me appreciate the good games in my collection (what a load of wank, eh?)
• Human beings love a good disaster.
• Nothing could be that bad, right?
• Yes, it is that bad (in fact, worse) and now the horrible challenge this game throws up needs to be beaten.
• I'm an only child who simply has to have everything, no matter how wack it is.
• I'm possibly lying to myself about just how much of a masochist I truly am.

I raise this whole issue because I've recently purchased a copy of Vampire Rain. I was fully aware of the general level of bile directed this game, although I'd never specifically read a review of it. I think that somehow I knew myself well enough that owning this slice of Z-Grade software was inevitable; reading other people's opinions was just going to dilute the horror of it all.

After paying $8 (Australian currency, I hasten to add) at the video store, I got home and had a quick crack at it before watching The Reader with my girlfriend. It should also be noted at this juncture what a saint my lady is. She went along with this inane purchase, even though I'd informed her of the fact I knew how bad it was going to be.

How wrong I was. I had no idea how bad it was going to be.

I'm not going to detail the experience here, because after finishing the game I'm actually going to write my first ever Giant Bomb review. I feel like a bit of a heel picking such a sitting duck as my debut, especially because it's easier to slag a game off than it is to write solid opinion about a solid game. But I figure I'll use this game to cut my teeth (so to speak) and hopefully this will spur me onto tackling a game of a higher calibre.

Y'know the sickest thing about this? I'm actually looking forward to finishing it now. Curse you, Vampire Rain!

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