Me and Jason Voorhees, Rumble in the Jungle

Tonight I took my jeep for a spin in the jungle in search for new adventure. I found a lady in trouble on a bridge deep inside the jungle, and zombies were quickly trying to turn her into dinner. Her cries for help had me alerted, so I quickly jumped out the car and made short work of the undead rascals. When just me and the lady were left standing (covered in blood) she informed me that she managed to drop all the boxes of medicine off the bridge, and since she was injured it was up to me to pick 'em all up and drop them off at the nearby village.

"Fear not, fair lady" I exclaimed, as I made my way down the mountain side in search for medicine boxes. The final box of said medicine was deep down the ravine, and I suddenly realized that I had no way to get back up again. As I pondered if the lady in distress had jacked my car and was halfway to Mozambique by now, I noticed a small path leading away from the ravine. "Jolly good, this will surely lead me to safety" I thought, and readied my machete in case of ferocious monkeys.

Walking along the path I suddenly noticed a small hut in the middle of absolutly nowhere. My stomach was beginning to scream for snacks and/or energy drinks, so I quietly made my way to the front door. A sort of panting was getting more and more noticeable the closer I got, like an energetic moose being closeby. Suddenly a man with a hockey mask was standing behind me, and I swiftly turned around while grasping my left arm being sure a heart attack wasn't far off. I quickly introduced myself, asking if the gentleman had any snacks and/or energy drinks nearby, to which he replied with a scream "BRAAAAINS!!" and held up a huge and bloody machete.

As I am both swift on my feet as in my mind, I replied with a molotov coctail to his face, which unfortunatly only made him more angry. Thankfully I was by then inside his hut, so I followed my polite reply with shutting the door between him and me. I am now writing these lines from the mad man's bedroom, where between two severed heads lies a chainsaw.

I can hear him out there. Laughing. Screaming. Clawing at the door. His energy seems to be beyond human, and all his snacks and/or energy drinks are slowly running out.

2 Comments
2 Comments
Posted by Cincaid

Tonight I took my jeep for a spin in the jungle in search for new adventure. I found a lady in trouble on a bridge deep inside the jungle, and zombies were quickly trying to turn her into dinner. Her cries for help had me alerted, so I quickly jumped out the car and made short work of the undead rascals. When just me and the lady were left standing (covered in blood) she informed me that she managed to drop all the boxes of medicine off the bridge, and since she was injured it was up to me to pick 'em all up and drop them off at the nearby village.

"Fear not, fair lady" I exclaimed, as I made my way down the mountain side in search for medicine boxes. The final box of said medicine was deep down the ravine, and I suddenly realized that I had no way to get back up again. As I pondered if the lady in distress had jacked my car and was halfway to Mozambique by now, I noticed a small path leading away from the ravine. "Jolly good, this will surely lead me to safety" I thought, and readied my machete in case of ferocious monkeys.

Walking along the path I suddenly noticed a small hut in the middle of absolutly nowhere. My stomach was beginning to scream for snacks and/or energy drinks, so I quietly made my way to the front door. A sort of panting was getting more and more noticeable the closer I got, like an energetic moose being closeby. Suddenly a man with a hockey mask was standing behind me, and I swiftly turned around while grasping my left arm being sure a heart attack wasn't far off. I quickly introduced myself, asking if the gentleman had any snacks and/or energy drinks nearby, to which he replied with a scream "BRAAAAINS!!" and held up a huge and bloody machete.

As I am both swift on my feet as in my mind, I replied with a molotov coctail to his face, which unfortunatly only made him more angry. Thankfully I was by then inside his hut, so I followed my polite reply with shutting the door between him and me. I am now writing these lines from the mad man's bedroom, where between two severed heads lies a chainsaw.

I can hear him out there. Laughing. Screaming. Clawing at the door. His energy seems to be beyond human, and all his snacks and/or energy drinks are slowly running out.

Posted by EuanDewar

Dude in the achievement hunter video killed him in one hit.

Man the fuck up.