We're about a month away from the release of The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, the game people are proclaiming as the Wii's swan song. It's a pretty big deal for fans of the series being a full-fledged console game and not a portable jaunt or a minigame cavalcade of mediocrity. I am getting very excited for the game myself, but the latest rumors are making me question the direction the series is taking. I'll list a few of the major rumors so you can make up your own conclusions.

• Weapon upgrading and crafting has been confirmed, but the latest rumor is that Link can also craft new hats. Link can use his inventory of useless items and weapons and combine them to create a slew of hats including, but not limited to: the fedora, fez, derby, sombrero, glengarry bonnet, tin foil, do-rag, and dozens more. Link will also be able to spend rupees or Wii Points on custom hats if you're lazy and have disposable income.
• Ganon or Ganondorf isn't a part of the main story, but Ganondorf Jr. is a major boss near the halfway point in the game. Rumor has it Ganondorf Jr. borrowed an airship from a friend of his in another game.
• There is no left-handed mode, but there is a left-footed mode for people who prefer to use their lower appendages.
• Link and Zelda have known each other since they were kids and have a special relationship. After Zelda is kidnapped again, Link must save her and all that, but Zelda is saved fairly early in the game and Link becomes very popular in Skyloft, which leads to intimacy. So in layman's terms, they "get it on."
• Tingle has been replaced with American Idol walking stereotype, Adam Lambert.
• Finally, there is a rumor going around about how Link can steal weapons and use them against his enemies. Unfortunately, the only weapon enemies carry are guns.

Nintendo of Japan released a statement about the above rumors stating:

"Nintendo does not comment about rumors and speculation, but we'll look into Link and Zelda getting it on in a future Zelda game."

I wish any or all of these things were true. I would be way more into Zelda if any of these were actually part of Skyward Sword.

You had me at hats.
 
Fuck.

Boomerang is pre-order DLC

Yo I heard that Link is secretly a dalek.

Can a hookshot be counted as a gun? What kinda weapon is it seen as? 

I'm going to go out on a limb to say that none of these are true.

I'm going to go out on a limb to say that none of these are true.

Dammit Dalai, you had me for a minute there. Hats are so in.

@Dalai said:

• Link and Zelda have known each other since they were kids and have a special relationship. After Zelda is kidnapped again, Link must save her and all that, but Zelda is saved fairly early in the game and Link becomes very popular in Skyloft, which leads to intimacy. So in layman's terms, they "get it on."

I was willing to believe all of that except when I read this, there is no way in this world that this rumour is true in any way shape or form. Though if it was how odd would it be?

I heard a Rumor that after you become Midlife Link he grows a beard.

@TimesHero: God damn it, why did I click that spoiler tag? Now I'm going to be freaked that it's true and everything will be ruined for me, no matter how unlikely the scenario as outlined may be.

They should make a Zelda game where you play as Dark Link or maybe one with a way older Link.