I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking this, but the big, red phone will be exploited for dangerously hilarious purposes. I assume that was clearly in mind when they approved of this stupidly bad/stupidly awesome idea. If you're not aware of this phone, it's a subscriber-only thing... and I reluctantly renewed my subscription even though I was on the fence about it for months. Maybe I'll start watching more of the Happy Hour shenanigans and buy a shirt or something for the good of the universe. But this phone... oh I have plans for that phone.

Dark, sinister plans.

They may regret this whole phone idea, but if they're gonna go full steam ahead with this, maybe they should add voicemail so we can leave dirty messages for Vinny because Vinny appreciates dirty phone messages.