The moment we've all been waiting for!  My top 10 greatest games ever!  Looking for the first two parts?  Look here and here.

Warning: The top video games on the list get really show my Nintendo fanboyedness... if that's an actual word.  The spellchecker says it's not.  Also, my top pick is not a surprise to those who know me well and for those who don't know, I'll just say it's a pretty safe pick.  And now, the top 10!

Pure racing goodness.

10. Gran Turismo 4

I have a soft spot for racing games of all types: arcade style, realistic simulators, futuristic, whatever.  Mario Kart is fine, F-Zero has its awesome moments, and I used to go straight for the Daytona USA machine whenever I hit the arcade back in the day, but for my money, Gran Turismo 4 saisfies my love for racing games more than any other.  Gran Turismo 4 is a game that could seriously consume months of your life if you wish to explore every track, car, mode, etc.  If I had a PS2, it could have ruined my life because it's so awesome.  It's just great to have the dozens of tracks and hundreds of cars to just play with and the level of depth and realism is unsurpassed on the PS2.

Yep, that's a building.

9. SimCity 4

How addicted was I to SimCity 4?  Well, you can all blame SimCity 4 for introducing me to the internet forum culture for starters.  I've always enjoyed the SimCity franchise pretty much since the beginning and my PC gaming experience early on centered on SimCity 2000 and 3000.  However, SimCity 4 was the closest thing we've gotten to paying mayor.  I'm a sucker for micromanagement, architecture, and urban planning so SimCity 4 was practically built with me in mind.  It's not a game for the average casual gamer and even fans of the series think it's too complex, but in my mind, the more complex the better.  I've spent nearly a full year just tinkering with my cities and regions and even messing with the downloadable building tools.

At least he's not a total deadbeat.

8. Earthbound

My list is seriously lacking in RPGs, but that's because I don't quite get most of them.  Earthbound is one RPG I can totally just get sucked into for several hours.  It's now best known as a cult hit that matured in popularity way too late, but I think of Earthbound as a game that does its own thing and doesn't dig itself in a hole full of RPG stereotypes.  Earthbound's actual gameplay might be pretty cookie cutter for a SNES RPG, but the fantastic story and unique settings totally make up for it.  The game's best quality has to be its quirky humor and pop culture references, although the latter has ruined any chance of Earthbound making a comeback today.  I am one of the few that totally bought into the hype when it first came out and I hope that the Mother series can find a home here in America for those who don't give a shit about androgynous spiky-haired emos.

Chris Moneymaker, the man who got me hooked on poker... and destroyed my life.

7. Texas hold 'em

I got really hooked into Texas hold 'em around 2004 like most people.  I succumbed to the whole "anybody can make it big playing poker" appeal to the game.  There are countless places to play, including on your PC and nearly every major console, but there's only one way to play... in a smoke-filled room with other people... and beer.  Lots of beer.  And preferably with someone with a cool name like Slim or Maverick.  The game is not for everyone and if you're easy to read, you'll fail often.  If you hone your skills and learn the tricks of the trade, you'll clean house.  While my luck has run out lately, I was good enough to make some decent cash for a while.  Hell, that was my booze money for a solid year... and I got plenty wasted almost every weekend.  I don't play as much Texas hold'em as I used to since the whole craze has subsided, but someday I'll master the game and finally win the World Series of Poker.

Shit is always going down in San Andreas.

6. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

I was introduced to the series quite late when Vice City came out... and I found it quite enjoyable.  Then San Andreas came out and blew my mind and yes, I prefer the zaniness of San Andreas over the grittiness of GTAIV.  San Andreas is one of the few times where the kitchen sink approach to game design works and works well.  You can do more in GTA than in most games: steal and race cars, shoot dudes, go out with one of your bitches, play some pool, ride a bike, go base jumping (or commit suicide) off a tall building, burglarize homes, play firefighter, policeman, and taxi driver, and fuck a ho in a back alley.  Of course, you can just go straight through the missions which are more varied than people believe.  The variety and its lack of seriousness made me a huge GTA fan and San Andreas just goes all out in every way imaginable.

Wrong Yahtzee.

5. Yahtzee

In the world of games, dice have always been important.  Just talk to Dungeons & Dragons.  While it doesn't have 20-sided dice and role-playing, Yahtzee went for simplicity, multiplicity, and a plastic cup for shaking.  It's all about filling up your sheet, from full houses to the anything goes chance option.  Yahtzee is not a game you can truly master and dominate, but there is a hint of strategy to it.  Ones suck balls, sixes are golden, and that large straight is always the first victim when all options are out... at least when I play.  Despite the strategy involved, it's the perfect pick up and play game and can be played by people of all ages.  It's what makes Yahtzee so amazing.  Well, that and screaming "Yahtzee!" when you get five of a kind.

Kuribo's Shoe!

4. Super Mario Bros. 3

I don't shit around with most of the Mario spinoffs anymore, but I absolutely adore the Mario platformers which made Mario famous.  While the original introduced me to video games back when I was a toddler and Super Mario Galaxy revived my love for the platforming genre this generation, Super Mario Bros. 3 remains the greatest traditional platformer ever and further embedded Mario's status as a pop culture icon and a household name among gamers and non-gamers alike.  It was not difficult to outdo the previous Doki-Doki Mario sequel in America, but it blew every other game out of the water at the time.  It's very much like the original Super Mario Bros. in its basic design, but with more powers, more levels, more eyecandy, badder bosses, and more variety, there's no denying it's a better Mario game than even many of its more recent releases.  Alright, maybe some denying... but c'mon!  Super Mario Bros. 3 is fantastic game from beginning to end.

Ganon at his absolute scariest.

3. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

How could I not mention this one?  Placing Ocarina of Time at or near the top 10 is mandatory by law... it's in the Constitution.  Look it up.  Anyway, Ocarina of TIme is one of the two games on my list that is perfect in every concievable way: fantastic visuals, intuitive and innovative controls, excellent story that is very much Zelda but much more detailed than before, top-notch soundtrack, and some of the trickiest and most challenging puzzles the series had at the time.  I even loved the Water Temple... most of the time.  I've lost count on how many times I've beaten this masterpiece (I think I'm up to 9 or 10) and I still come back to it every year or so, sometimes just for nostalgic purposes, other times for the epic finish, and occasionally just to piss off Epona.  Ocarina of Time is still, in my mind, the best 3D video game of all-time.

Yes, better than baseball.

2. Wiffleball

And here's the greatest 3D game of all-time.  But wait, didn't I already rank baseball in the top 30?  Yes, but this is Wiffleball, similar to baseball on the surface, but with a lot more plastic, more insane curve balls, and sometimes more obstacles and weird dimensions... and alcohol, obviously.  Unlike baseball, wiffleball can be played anywhere: alleyway, backyard, high school gymnasium, even in a tiny apartment... and yes, I've played wiffleball in an apartment... my old apartment, actually.  People got hurt.  It was awesome!  But what really makes wiffleball better than baseball is the lack of rigid rules if you so desire (yet there are official rules, too.)  I know plunking base runners was a normal rule in my neighborhood, which makes it more like dodgeball in some ways, but make up your own rules.  No matter how or where you play it, wiffleball is pure fun and always a good time.

Super Metroid... perfection in a cartridge.

1. Super Metroid

If you're one of my stalkers on Giant Bomb, you knew this already.  Super Metroid is my gaming nirvana, my personal gaming drug of choice, my definiton of gaming perfection from the opening to the dramatic finish.  Even in this world of ultra-realism and deep, emotional storylines, no game gets me more immersed, more emotionally charged than Super Metroid.  Whenever I play, I just cut myself off from the rest of the world and enter the world of Samus Aran, which is a very lonely world where the universe is always dreary, never the same... where you expect the unexpected.  It's the game where I still get goosebumps throughout and one of the two games where I've felt deep sadness and came close to tears (Mother 3 being the other.)  My favorite gaming moment to this day is the final battle against Mother Brain where (spoiler alert, I guess) the kidnapped Metroid hatchling you saved goes from monster to hero as it (this is where I choke up) sacrifices itself for the greater good.  I could go on about how the ending turns me into a weeping baby, but there are many more points to touch on: the moody soundtrack that enhances the suspense and scare factor, the wide array of weapons and moves, the adventure aspects, the epic boss battles, the planet's mix of lush fauna and magma caverns below the surface, barren wastelands above, and a dark ocean abyss in between.  Super Metroid is, indeed, the greatest game in the history of the world and I know some of you will agree with me.

Well that was fun, but to truly finish this off, here's the honorable mention.

A game? Sure, whatever.

Honorable mention: Stone skipping

Wait, is it even a game?  Wikipedia says so.  Unlike the games above, I really suck at stone skipping.  I guess it's a good thing we don't judge people on how well they can throw a smooth, flat rock across a pond or I'd be fucked.

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Baseball.
Persona.
Will.
Llama.