E3 1: The One that cost $1000 to make


 More than 1 colour, the budget has been blown.

Microsoft happened and it turns out that the internet is pissed because they tried to get the whole Kinect into the public spotlight. But how would you do that? Oh yeah you show it to the fucking press. And what is E3? A FUCKING PRESS EVENT! The BBC go to E3 for fucks sake, and next week there will be a report that gets looped into BBC news 24 that is about E3 and unless Nintendo and Sony cure cancer in front of our eyes you know who will have top billing. Microsoft with Kinect I don't that there are that same impartiality laws surrounding E3 as there is for an Election. But on to the breakdown of the games.

Call of Duty: Black Ops

Hey they made a Call of Duty game; it has a level where you sneak around. Then it skips ahead for your convenience after that there is a bit where you have to escape because you did something probably involved blowing shit up. Finally you have to escape in a vehicle.... wait I feel like I've seen this demo before only with less forest and more snow. But seriously that looks like Call of Duty and it is cool that Treyarch has a new logo.

Metal Gear Solid: Rising 

For me this was the biggest disappointment of the show. Raiden in what he stands for is Kojima’s giant middle finger to the fans of the Metal Gear games, from being the protagonist in MGS 2 to becoming the most badass character in MGS 4. I found it really funny when after MGS 4 came out that people wanted a Raiden spin off. But the trailer, god that was bad, it started with the normal Metal Gear action trailer fare, but then after the title they decide to show the same goddamn cutting concept over and over. It was like a tech demo for your middleware called Slice. I really hope the real combat sections are good because if not I might as well YouTube the cutscenes.

Gears of War 3

Yep that is Gears of War; the suits that Marcus and co wears look awful nut hey there are two ladies.  

Fable III

Yep that is Fable. Don't see why you bring Peter Molyneux out just for a trailer. I get this feeling that he was going to show something that got pulled out at the last second.

Codename: Kingdoms

Wow Crytek can do things other than first person shooters.

Halo: Reach

Yep that is Halo. Oh and space combat, I wonder if we will see Battlefront 2 style space battles?


 This is why Kudo wears sunglasses.

Kinectimals    

I guess we know where the Milo technology went, but that demo was creepy as hell. I get what they are doing and hey if Nintendogs got me to buy a DS and Eyepet got me to buy a Playstation Eye then I am prepared to be freaked out by a Tiger that wants to eat my face secretly.

Kinect Sports &  Kinect Adventures

I dug this way more than I should. I guess I just find it fun watching people I don’t know playing motion games. Oh and it is a Rare game so I have to buy it. I could see this working, in fact if Microsoft launched a Kinect bundle that had both Sports and Adventure both together for say £120 they could make a killing.

Kinect Joy Ride

I guess that Microsoft decided that this could use some motion control. I don’t know I'm not all into Kart racers as it is.

Your Shape: Fitness Evolved

  • First: great subtitle
  • Second: we get it we aren’t in shape
  • But hey you do win an award for showing me the only person in the world I now hate more than Don Mattrick.

Dance Central

Harmonix I can’t hate even after you put out a Green Day game, but still the game better contain a white guy dancing mode. Most funny gif potential lies here. 

Star Wars Game

Does anyone over the age of 9 care about Star Wars anymore and even worse it looks to be based on the clone wars CG crap. Oh I don’t have to point out the whole on Naboo fighting both Stormtroopers and Droids, or the fact that the Jedi looks like Anakin Skywalker but is fighting Darth Vader.
 

This thing has gotten too big so I'll just go over the big stuff. 

Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit

Totally the third Hot pursuit game but also the only one to not have a number in the title. We know Criterion can make a solid racing game so I just wonder how the game will play. 

Bulletstorm

This game looks nuts.  

Rayman: Origins

Finally a new Rayman game and even better it is in 2D 
 

Child of Eden

 wow, just wow that trailer was just so purdy and the game is rez for traffic cops. seriously looks cool. I wonder if it will have that Joy Williams song in it.
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2 Comments
Posted by damswedon

 More than 1 colour, the budget has been blown.

Microsoft happened and it turns out that the internet is pissed because they tried to get the whole Kinect into the public spotlight. But how would you do that? Oh yeah you show it to the fucking press. And what is E3? A FUCKING PRESS EVENT! The BBC go to E3 for fucks sake, and next week there will be a report that gets looped into BBC news 24 that is about E3 and unless Nintendo and Sony cure cancer in front of our eyes you know who will have top billing. Microsoft with Kinect I don't that there are that same impartiality laws surrounding E3 as there is for an Election. But on to the breakdown of the games.

Call of Duty: Black Ops

Hey they made a Call of Duty game; it has a level where you sneak around. Then it skips ahead for your convenience after that there is a bit where you have to escape because you did something probably involved blowing shit up. Finally you have to escape in a vehicle.... wait I feel like I've seen this demo before only with less forest and more snow. But seriously that looks like Call of Duty and it is cool that Treyarch has a new logo.

Metal Gear Solid: Rising 

For me this was the biggest disappointment of the show. Raiden in what he stands for is Kojima’s giant middle finger to the fans of the Metal Gear games, from being the protagonist in MGS 2 to becoming the most badass character in MGS 4. I found it really funny when after MGS 4 came out that people wanted a Raiden spin off. But the trailer, god that was bad, it started with the normal Metal Gear action trailer fare, but then after the title they decide to show the same goddamn cutting concept over and over. It was like a tech demo for your middleware called Slice. I really hope the real combat sections are good because if not I might as well YouTube the cutscenes.

Gears of War 3

Yep that is Gears of War; the suits that Marcus and co wears look awful nut hey there are two ladies.  

Fable III

Yep that is Fable. Don't see why you bring Peter Molyneux out just for a trailer. I get this feeling that he was going to show something that got pulled out at the last second.

Codename: Kingdoms

Wow Crytek can do things other than first person shooters.

Halo: Reach

Yep that is Halo. Oh and space combat, I wonder if we will see Battlefront 2 style space battles?


 This is why Kudo wears sunglasses.

Kinectimals    

I guess we know where the Milo technology went, but that demo was creepy as hell. I get what they are doing and hey if Nintendogs got me to buy a DS and Eyepet got me to buy a Playstation Eye then I am prepared to be freaked out by a Tiger that wants to eat my face secretly.

Kinect Sports &  Kinect Adventures

I dug this way more than I should. I guess I just find it fun watching people I don’t know playing motion games. Oh and it is a Rare game so I have to buy it. I could see this working, in fact if Microsoft launched a Kinect bundle that had both Sports and Adventure both together for say £120 they could make a killing.

Kinect Joy Ride

I guess that Microsoft decided that this could use some motion control. I don’t know I'm not all into Kart racers as it is.

Your Shape: Fitness Evolved

  • First: great subtitle
  • Second: we get it we aren’t in shape
  • But hey you do win an award for showing me the only person in the world I now hate more than Don Mattrick.

Dance Central

Harmonix I can’t hate even after you put out a Green Day game, but still the game better contain a white guy dancing mode. Most funny gif potential lies here. 

Star Wars Game

Does anyone over the age of 9 care about Star Wars anymore and even worse it looks to be based on the clone wars CG crap. Oh I don’t have to point out the whole on Naboo fighting both Stormtroopers and Droids, or the fact that the Jedi looks like Anakin Skywalker but is fighting Darth Vader.
 

This thing has gotten too big so I'll just go over the big stuff. 

Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit

Totally the third Hot pursuit game but also the only one to not have a number in the title. We know Criterion can make a solid racing game so I just wonder how the game will play. 

Bulletstorm

This game looks nuts.  

Rayman: Origins

Finally a new Rayman game and even better it is in 2D 
 

Child of Eden

 wow, just wow that trailer was just so purdy and the game is rez for traffic cops. seriously looks cool. I wonder if it will have that Joy Williams song in it.
Posted by drummerboykhari

Raiden is Kojima's middle finger lol! I love you dude. You are my new hero honestly!