In the film “Star Trek: Generations” a lot is made of the main characters opposing views on time. Soren believes time to be a predator that stalks you all your life, waiting to strike at any moment. Picard, on the other hand, believes that time is like a companion, reminding you to cherish every moment because it won’t come again.

However, I am here to tell you that Picard is infact wrong, and that time is exactly like a Predator. I shall prove this with these very simple points.

1. Time is invisible

Time, as you may well know, is not visible to the human eye. It’s a shifty motherfucker for sure, changing speed without you even noticing, and even totally changing if there’s a large pull of gravity about.

You know what else is a shifty, invisible bugger? The motherfucking Predator.

2. Time kills people

Unless you’re lucky enough to be either a vampire or Mick Jagger, at some point we will expire. You know why? Because of the irreversible effects of aging. 

You know who else brutally slaughters people, skins them, and then uses their limp, sopping wet bodies as trophies? That’s correct, ladies and gentlemen, Mick Jagger…

…and Predators

3. I don’t care if Picard said it wasn’t; the bloke from “A Clockwork Orange” said it was…

…and he’s proper horror show.

So there we have it, irrefutable proof that time is, infact, IDENTICAL to a Predator. 

Next time I discuss how Anti-Matter is exactly like a xenomorph, until then, remember to be wary of time.

You can never tell when it’ll strike…