Dan's 2010 Christmas Mega-Blog - Part Two

-- This blog was originally written on December 25th 2010 -- 
 
Welcome back for the second part of the 2010 edition of my Christmas Mega-Blog! If you missed the first part, you can find it here. Now, I promised something special for this part, and here it is – a humorous poem chronicling a hypothetical Giant Bomb Christmas dinner. I'm sorry I couldn't fit more of you in - I tried to include more users, but quickly found that I didn't know many of them well enough. On top of that, the number of people was getting far too high to be manageable across the poem. I just want to stress that while only a few specific users are mentioned here, the sentiment holds true for every single one of you. Even KaosAngel. This was a lot of fun to write, and I hope that comes across in reading it. Enjoy!

Part Two - A Giant Bomb Christmas

'Twas Christmas, and dankempster was excited as could be
But not for gifts or turkey, or other festivities
The actual reason for all the excitement he could feel
Was because Giant Bomb was coming for a Christmas meal

He set out all the plates for guests and tagged them with their names
(While making sure the dinner didn't burn or burst to flames)
He tidied up the house and just had time to mop the floor
Before the first invited guest showed up and knocked the door

First to arrive was Video_Game_King, and to his host he gifted
A game for some obscure system he didn't know existed
He thanked dankempster kindly, and asked if he was able
To have his kingly throne installed at the dinner table

Next was Sparky_Buzzsaw, arriving right on cue
Dan took his hat and coat, then gifted him a PS2
He thought it was the perfect gift for Sparky this December
So he could play those games that Dan kept making him remember

Third was Claude, decked out in red and jolly as could be
He shook dankempster by the hand and offered him a Wii
“This is the evening's entertainment”, old Claude proudly said
“Just don't let me drink too much – it goes straight to my head!”

Natetodamax was fourth to come, fresh from Cyrodiil
Where he'd been permanently crouched to boost his sneaking skill
He left his bow and arrow by the hat-stand at the door
And then he scuttled noiselessly across the parquet floor

Fifth was JJWeatherman, who turned up in a van
He parked it on the driveway before he spoke to Dan
“Thanks for the invite,” JJ said, “Could you give me a hand?
I've brought a lot of instruments so we can play Rock Band.”

Last of all was Sweep, arriving fashionably late
He sat down at the table and eyed up the turkey plate
His clothes were badly torn and stained with zombie blood and liquor
And on top of his laptop was an 'I love blogging' sticker

The seven of them took their seats and then began to eat 
The roast potatoes, brussel sprouts, parsnips and turkey meat
A fruity Christmas pudding topped with custard for dessert
(Another stain to join the mucky mess on poor Sweep's shirt)

When all the washing up was done, the games could then begin
Claude challenged everyone to golf, but no one could beat him
Sparky and dankempster played TimeSplitters in split screen
While Nate and Sweep played Gears of War deathmatches as a team

Come midnight JJ was halfway through the Endless Setlist
While Claude and Sweep were blogging, both well and truly pissed
Nate had sneaked out earlier, with most of the King's gold
While he sat back and reminisced about the games of old

One by one they took their leave, and left dankempster's home
Until they'd all departed, and the host was on his own
He reclined in his armchair, and said as he turned off the light
“Merry Christmas, Giant Bomb. I wish you all good night.”   
 
 --- 
 
Thanks very much for reading this, guys. I hope to see you again tomorrow for the final part of my Christmas Mega-Blog - an in-depth review of my time spent with the Nintendo Wii. In the meantime, I have a plate full of turkey to demolish, a couple more presents still to open, and a lot of Wii to play. See you around. 
 
 
Dan 
 
--- 
 
Currently playing - Fallout: New Vegas (X360)
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10 Comments
Posted by dankempster
-- This blog was originally written on December 25th 2010 -- 
 
Welcome back for the second part of the 2010 edition of my Christmas Mega-Blog! If you missed the first part, you can find it here. Now, I promised something special for this part, and here it is – a humorous poem chronicling a hypothetical Giant Bomb Christmas dinner. I'm sorry I couldn't fit more of you in - I tried to include more users, but quickly found that I didn't know many of them well enough. On top of that, the number of people was getting far too high to be manageable across the poem. I just want to stress that while only a few specific users are mentioned here, the sentiment holds true for every single one of you. Even KaosAngel. This was a lot of fun to write, and I hope that comes across in reading it. Enjoy!

Part Two - A Giant Bomb Christmas

'Twas Christmas, and dankempster was excited as could be
But not for gifts or turkey, or other festivities
The actual reason for all the excitement he could feel
Was because Giant Bomb was coming for a Christmas meal

He set out all the plates for guests and tagged them with their names
(While making sure the dinner didn't burn or burst to flames)
He tidied up the house and just had time to mop the floor
Before the first invited guest showed up and knocked the door

First to arrive was Video_Game_King, and to his host he gifted
A game for some obscure system he didn't know existed
He thanked dankempster kindly, and asked if he was able
To have his kingly throne installed at the dinner table

Next was Sparky_Buzzsaw, arriving right on cue
Dan took his hat and coat, then gifted him a PS2
He thought it was the perfect gift for Sparky this December
So he could play those games that Dan kept making him remember

Third was Claude, decked out in red and jolly as could be
He shook dankempster by the hand and offered him a Wii
“This is the evening's entertainment”, old Claude proudly said
“Just don't let me drink too much – it goes straight to my head!”

Natetodamax was fourth to come, fresh from Cyrodiil
Where he'd been permanently crouched to boost his sneaking skill
He left his bow and arrow by the hat-stand at the door
And then he scuttled noiselessly across the parquet floor

Fifth was JJWeatherman, who turned up in a van
He parked it on the driveway before he spoke to Dan
“Thanks for the invite,” JJ said, “Could you give me a hand?
I've brought a lot of instruments so we can play Rock Band.”

Last of all was Sweep, arriving fashionably late
He sat down at the table and eyed up the turkey plate
His clothes were badly torn and stained with zombie blood and liquor
And on top of his laptop was an 'I love blogging' sticker

The seven of them took their seats and then began to eat 
The roast potatoes, brussel sprouts, parsnips and turkey meat
A fruity Christmas pudding topped with custard for dessert
(Another stain to join the mucky mess on poor Sweep's shirt)

When all the washing up was done, the games could then begin
Claude challenged everyone to golf, but no one could beat him
Sparky and dankempster played TimeSplitters in split screen
While Nate and Sweep played Gears of War deathmatches as a team

Come midnight JJ was halfway through the Endless Setlist
While Claude and Sweep were blogging, both well and truly pissed
Nate had sneaked out earlier, with most of the King's gold
While he sat back and reminisced about the games of old

One by one they took their leave, and left dankempster's home
Until they'd all departed, and the host was on his own
He reclined in his armchair, and said as he turned off the light
“Merry Christmas, Giant Bomb. I wish you all good night.”   
 
 --- 
 
Thanks very much for reading this, guys. I hope to see you again tomorrow for the final part of my Christmas Mega-Blog - an in-depth review of my time spent with the Nintendo Wii. In the meantime, I have a plate full of turkey to demolish, a couple more presents still to open, and a lot of Wii to play. See you around. 
 
 
Dan 
 
--- 
 
Currently playing - Fallout: New Vegas (X360)
Posted by Sweep

They should have sent a poet. 

 
 
Oh wait...
Moderator
Posted by JJWeatherman

Oh god, this was the greatest thing ever! Seriously really good; I enjoyed it a lot. 
 

 Natetodamax was fourth to come, fresh from Cyrodiil
Where he'd been permanently crouched to boost his sneaking skill    

I don't know exactly why, but that part specifically made me laugh the hardest.  xD
 
This is like an awesome Dr. Seuss book based on Giant Bomb.  :)
Posted by Wunder_

New Year's Resolution: Be featured on Dan's 2011 Christmas Mega-blog.

Posted by Oni

Haha that was awesome Dan, enjoyed it a lot!

Posted by Video_Game_King

Since my post will inevitably be a repeat of everybody else's posts, I'll just post this video for originality:
 
  

It's an Easter egg in The Black Onyx for the NEC PC-6001. I stay true to my word.
Posted by Dalai

That made my Orthodox Christmas... if I celebrated it.

Edited by Claude

You might not know this, but I slept under the front porch as I was too drunk to drive. Good times... indeed. Looking forward to reading the blog about the Wii.

Posted by Sparky_Buzzsaw

Hah!  This is pretty awesome!  Here's hoping you had a great Christmas, Dan.  Keep up the great writing!

Moderator
Edited by RagingLion

Not bad.  There's a recent thread knocking around for making a poem about Giant Bomb.  This would may a good addition to it.