A man is rushed to the hospital with a pen stabbed into his eye, the doctors diagnosis?

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Appendicitis

The cops came up to my door recently and told me that my dogs were annoying people on bicycles.

I didn't really understand, my dogs don't know how to ride a bike!

What do you call four black men and a casket?

The Jackson 4

What did the narcoleptic say to the bartender?

"I'll have a bud light and a ........" (he fell asleep, ya dummy)

Some really bad attempts at anti-humor here, but I guess that's expected.

What does Napoleon Bonaparte and Charlie Sheen have in common?

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Part of their legacy will always remain their involvement in getting canned.

I thought this was a thread for jokes, not a place to dump your sick shit.

• Two skeletons are running after each other. One tell the other : "I'll skin you alive".

I'm sorry for the next ones. I love tasteless joke. I don't know how much is too much. I'm keeping rape jokes for myself, though, I don't know if it's too much for this forum.

• What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby?

Ten minutes in the oven.

• A kid ask to his mother : "Mother, could I have a piece of cake".

The mother answers: "Serve yourself, sweetheart".

"But mom! I have no arm!"

"No arm, no dessert!"

Well, I'll stop here.

@Vonocourt said:

Some really bad attempts at anti-humor here, but I guess that's expected.

Wait, I don't get this one.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants come running across the hills?

"Look, there come the elephants running across the hills!"

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants come running across the hills wearing dark sunglasses?

Nothing, he did not recognize them.

My favorite lame jokes tend to come from Giant Bomb's own Jeff Gerstmann. Namely, his retorts to insults.

(from the first PAX live Bombcast panel)

Jeff makes a bad joke

Ryan: This is every day at the office, folks.

Jeff: YOU'RE every day at the office!

For some reason, this stuck with me, and is now my default retort. It's always guaranteed to baffle the recipient.

What's the biggest difference between Norwegians and Cambodians? I don't know, but you have cancer.

Whats the difference between peanutbutter and Jam?