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5 (1) 4 (3) 3 (3) 2 (2) 1 (3) 2.8 starsAverage score of 12 user reviews
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Dean Cleans Off His Steam List - Impire 0
First thing I've learned from this game: graphics options menus have to stop giving me meaningless choices. Give me a slider bar that adjusts everything to a "Low" preset for my $600 refurb computer and stop acting like I've taken a class in CPU Cycle Maximization 201. Specifically, what the gabenewell is "anisotropy," and what happens if I uncheck the box to turn it off?Second thing I've learned: control is really important. Yes, I'm saying this again. It's one thing when a platformer that requ...
1 out of 2 found this review helpful. -
Dean Cleans Off His Steam List - Bientôt l'été 0
Most of this blog's pageviews still come from my Facebook friends, so I'll admit taking some modest pride in seeing "Recommended by 10 of 11 users" where I reposted my review of Proteus to another gaming site. Other people's opinions of that artsy game usually fall into two camps - either they think it was really beautiful and deep and meaningful and advanced the artform of gaming, or they were all-caps screaming about how it wasn't really a game and how could you charge ten bucks for this not-a...
4 out of 5 found this review helpful. -
Dean Cleans Off His Steam List - Proteus 0
Proteus launches, and I am standing in the ocean, looking at an island in the distance. Everything I can see is constructed out of blocky, Atari-2600-ish pixels. Not knowing my purpose in this world, I slowly tread water to the beach. I find a cluster of small white creatures there bobbing their heads and chatting with each other in honks and blorts, looking like something from a cross of Princess Mononoke and Tron. When I get too close, the little mob shrieks and darts underground.Ah yes, this ...
1 out of 1 found this review helpful. -
Dean Cleans Off His Steam List - Antichamber 0
When last I had time away from work, I spent a few hours with an overly artsy game that dropped me in the middle of nowhere and gave me no more to do than walk around and look at things. I've now been dropped into a game in a stark, no-intro-necessary, black-and-white, sciency tech lab where the walls aren't painted and nothing makes any noise. The screenshots on the game's storepage look like something out of a tech demo. I was begging to hope that there would be a game inside this one somewher...
1 out of 1 found this review helpful. -
Dean Cleans Off His Steam List - Retrovirus 1
Once more, little guys doing the games that the big publishers aren't touching anymore. When I was young and unable to afford a gamer's PC, my totally spoiled best friend was hooked on Descent 2. Descent played as a cross between Doom and WIng Commander - the player could fly and shoot in every direction, but the game took place in underground mines and laboratories rather than in open darkness. This gameplay felt faster and had a higher skill cap than other early FPSs, but it felt more focused ...
2 out of 2 found this review helpful. -
Dean Cleans Off His Steam List - DungeonLand 0
Question for you: when was the last time you and your friends all bought the new big triple-A title that had just come out, and you all talked it up and made plans to play together online? You got that game with the big multiplayer component and assumed it would mean lots of hours happily mucking about with people you know and love, right? How much of that game did you actually spend playing with your friends? If you answered, "basically nothing," was it because you got everyone together when th...
1 out of 1 found this review helpful. -
Dean Cleans Off His Steam List - No Time To Explain 0
Good reader, I am told you like games with a challenge! Therefore, I shall issue one to you! I suggest to you that you shall play... Super Mario Bros.! Wait, this be not a true challenge. The stakes need be raised. I must also demand that you shall play the game while your youngest daughter is grabbing the controller out of your hands, the dog is kicking the television over, and your spouse is leaned up against your ear saying "buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz squirrel buzz" repeatedly as you play. Trul...
2 out of 2 found this review helpful. -
Dean Cleans Off His Steam List - Strike Suit Zero 0
Time for another genre that I haven't been much exposed to - the spaceflight sim. I know that when I was young and had an NES and not much else that other kids had fancy PCs with Wing Commander and X-Wing and other first-person games with black backgrounds. Strike Suit Zero appears to be designed on the concept that we haven't had many of those games lately and deserve a new one. Long hours at work stopped me from playing this one as much as I'd have liked, but here's a story.At the beginning of...
1 out of 1 found this review helpful. -
Dean Cleans Off His Steam List - 10,000,000 0
I actually wasn't sure if I would bother with this review, on account that most of us with Apple devices already played through this while waiting on hold for tech support. But I figured I'd give the Steam edition a try while waiting for other indie games to come out (and as a truck driver by vocation, I wasn't sure I wanted to spend the time and money reviewing Euro Truck SImulator 2).10,000,000 looks familiar to anyone who's ever played Bejeweled or spent time on the Facebook games market. A g...
1 out of 1 found this review helpful. -
Dean Cleans Off His Steam List - Fieldrunners 2 0
I actually haven't played much tower defense, have I? I beat Plants vs. Zombies, which was a lovely, easy little game. I messed around with variations of the genre in Dungeon Defenders and Anomaly Warzone Earth. But I've never played Kingdom Rush or Desktop Tower Defense or whichever the popular ones are. The genre hasn't called out to me for one reason or another.And I've also never played Fieldrunners, even though it's on my Steam list. Look, I got this one with a humble indie bundle, and I st...
0 out of 0 found this review helpful. -
Dean Cleans Off His Steam List - Droid Assault 0
(This game was re-released on Steam on January 9, 2013.)My initial thought for Droid Assault was something like, "Okay, Steam, really? The first two games of the year are both twin-stick-style action games? If this one is just as bad as the first, then I'm breaking up with you." My initial thought that actually had something to do with the game was, "This isn't so bad. I guess you don't have to give me back my black t-shirt yet." And then somewhere along the line, I'm actually thinking, "Can you...
1 out of 1 found this review helpful. -
Dean Cleans Off His Steam List - Primal Fears 0
The first thing I figure out about Primal Fears is that it controls like a twin-stick shooter - move one direction, shoot in another. Then I start the first level, and there are a number of tiny bug-like zombie things dancing around but not yet acknowledging me. Is this actually a survival horror title? Do I need to think about conserving ammo? Is there a way around these things without killing them? I spend a few minutes walking the level to see how I can interact with objects and sneak around,...
1 out of 1 found this review helpful.
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