Oh yeah, another thing I hate about Insurrection: They fucked up with the ready room desk. 

One of the problems I have with Insurrection is the whole idea that there's this beautiful native woman who just happens to be single and completely available for Picard to swoop in and sweep her off her feet. Like, isn't this an isolated society where people live to be 600 years old? So you're gonna tell me that this very attractive 600 year old woman is just single and has been waiting around all this time for an outsider to romance? Really? Nobody else in the Baku ever struck her fancy? Or is she just like the village slut and she's already been passed around so many times that nobody wants to have her as a girlfriend or wife? I dunno, it just seems silly to me that the big important female lead just happens to be single and waiting for the dashing strange outsider to hook up with. Even though I wouldn't really call a balding old guy "dashing."

You see it in lots of stories about strangers coming into alien cultures, of course. Avatar had it with Neytiri, the chief's daughter who just happened to be single, lucky for Jake.
 
And I never understood why in Nemesis the Romulans had the Remans enslaved and working in dilithium mines. Like, you'd think with an advanced civilization, they'd have way better and more efficient means of mining minerals, right?

Now, I know you're thinking back to Star Trek VI, when the Klingons had their dilithium mining prison on Rura Penthe. But see, in that case, it always just seemed like the Klingons had them mining because they deliberately wanted their condemned prisoners to suffer and endure backbreaking labor. It never occurred to me that the Klingons had them mining dilithium because that was the best way of doing it. Klingons were generally cruel dicks and it made sense that they'd punish their prisoners with hard and pointless work.

But with the Romulans, they had the entire race of Remans mining on their own planet. So the prison rationale doesn't work.

So I just watched a rather obscure film on Netflix instant streaming called Carriers. And no, it's not a documentary about aircraft carriers. It's actually a low budget indie horror film about a world where a plague has wiped out most of humanity and the survivors have to try and... well, survive. Sorta like a modern day version of Poe's The Red Death. What really intrigued me about this film was that it starred a then unknown Chris Pine, back before he was cast as Kirk in Abrams' Star Trek. I'd already seen him in Bottle Shock and this was apparently that other film he did before hitting it big.

The film's basically like a cross between The Road and 28 Days Later, though there aren't any zombie shenanigans. It's strictly about surviving in a desolate wasteland while under constant fear of contracting the deadly virus. Because of the very nature of this story, it's incredibly bleak and nihilistic, which suited me just fine. It also explains why this had a very low budget, because it is dark and depressing and you feel awful and disquieted. This is not the sort of movie that has any kind of mainstream appeal, so I'd guess that they had roughly about 2 or 3 million dollars to work with, with most scenes shot on empty and barren highways out in New Mexico. Another factor is that the characters are all basically assholes and fairly unlikeable, which at first bothered me. It's naturally hard to get into a movie if you don't find yourself liking any of the main characters, isn't it? Well, they don't really get any more likeable as the movie continues, I can tell you that. At the end, they're all just as despicable and unsympathetic as when the film started. But as I thought about it... I came to peace with it. In a realistic depiction of this sort of horrendous post-apocalyptic situation... would people really be likeable? Do survivors need to be good-hearted chums that always do the right thing? Or would the few people that survive actually be those who are cruel enough to make the hard choices? When viewed in this light, I had to come to the realization that this movie was going for realism and that there was something incredibly grounded and true about depicting these survivors as people that we may despise. It was okay to have a movie with unlikeable protagonists, as long as it felt true to the story.

Fans of Stephen King will naturally point to The Stand as a direct influence on Carriers. Actually, I'd say that Carriers is most similar to Night Surf, the short story that King later expanded out into The Stand. There's revelry and a fatalistic hedonism that the survivors have, because there's no telling when you might get infected and die. Chris Pine gives a great performance as the wild and uncouth leader of this ragtag group.

Ultimately, this is a movie that you should watch only if you're prepared for a very depressing time. It leaves a bad feeling in your stomach and it should, because it's dealing with a nightmare and effectively depicts it with a stark minimalism. It's not something to watch while you're in a warm and cuddly mood, but I was left powerfully moved and very happy to be alive. For those who choose to take the plunge, I do believe you'll find a captivating but grim portrait of the last days of man.

So I was browsing for some Chronicle reviews, just to see what other people thought about it, and I went to the Totally Rad Show. Their review of it was alright, though somewhat more lukewarm then my rather effusive praise. But what really caught my eye was the guest reviewer, Miri Jedeikin in place of regular Alex Albrecht. I have to say... Ms. Jedeikin is probably one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life. I mean a 10 out of 10. Just perfection all around. Her facial features are incredibly striking and left an indelible impression. Here, you can see for yourself:

Wow, what a movie. Just outstanding. It is unbelievable to me that this film was made for 15 million dollars. Just swirl that around in your head for a while. 15 million dollars, and they created something that impressed me a hell of a lot more then Transformers 3, which ended up costing some 200 million dollars. As far as superhero movies go, we've got some big hitters arriving this year. The Dark Knight Rises, The Avengers, and The Amazing Spider-Man just to name a few. So I didn't give much thought to this one, arriving in February of all times. But now... I've really got to think about this. This will be legitimately challenging come the end of the year. Those other guys are gonna have to step up their game.
 
The film is transporting. I didn't want it to end. There's a certain point in the film where the three leads get together and breathlessly exclaim that this was probably the best day of their entire lives. I'm not sure I'd go that far, but this was certainly one of the best movies I've seen in recent years. And I'm generally not a big fan of found footage movies. They don't hold any particular sway over me. But the visuals that we get to see, from clouds zooming past, to the climactic showdown in the city... that all was enhanced by the perspective they used here and worked beautifully.

There are certain ideas that are universal to the human psyche that have been conveyed in films. One is that strange niggling doubt in the back of our minds, wondering if our world is real. And movies like The Matrix and Inception have captured that idea and done wonders with it. Another is that childish yet irresistible fantasy that we sometimes conjured up in our youth or in our dreams, of being endowed with superpowers, or simply given godlike abilities. It's the ultimate fantasy, like wishing for infinite wishes. And Chronicle delivers on that fantasy in the most tremendously satisfying way, which is by doing it realistically. Bringing that fantasy to life in a believable manner is exactly how it should be done, because it brings that fantasy out of our dreams where it's always resided. By bringing it into the real world, we're left with something so sublime and extraordinary that it feels like slipping closer to heaven and touching the very face of God.

It also just now occurred to me that if you think about it... this was just about the same sort of "fall towards the dark side" story that the Star Wars prequels were supposed to be, but they actually pulled it off here. Here, we actually understand Andrew and what has perverted him into this creature and why he does what he does. It all goes wrong, of course, but we don't lose sight of the fact that this is a human being and we can sympathize with his situation. Nobody gave a rat's ass about Anakin because he was always this whiny douchebag. It's amazing to see these two stories, ostensibly the same, but with such vastly different results. The prequels are an abomination, but this turned out to be just the opposite. What a splendid surprise.

Now, I've noticed that some people have spoken negatively of the blonde female character in here. I had absolutely no problem with her and I'll explain why:

I just rewatched TNG's third season episode "The Most Toys."

Boy, what a great, great episode. This is one of those character pieces in Star Trek that I love so much. There's almost no action, but it doesn't matter, because this is basically a duel between the two characters of Data and Fajo. Of course, it's also an acting showcase for Brent Spiner and Saul Rubinek, who's probably best known for the role of the reporter in Eastwood's "Unforgiven." Rubinek pulls off the perfect balance between entertainingly whimsical and maliciously psychopathic. You can't pull your eyes away from him because you never know just what he'll do. There's an explosive spark beneath the surface that could go off at any moment.

They really started to get Data just right in the portrayal here in the third season, and The Most Toys is probably one of the episodes where Data is perfectly realized. Spiner does just enough to convey the turmoil and conflict of the situation, while retaining the fact that he is, after all, "just an android", as he says in the final shot. There's none of the stupid and inane buffoonery that we've had to endure in earlier episodes where he asks, "Burning the midnight oil? Gee whiz, better not do that!" Those sorts of dumb questions that make you wonder how such a retarded android ever rose to become second officer aboard the Federation flagship.

The last third of the episode really brings everything together and heightens the danger and intensity to a fever pitch. Fajo ends up murdering Varria and finally, we can see this series escape out from under the shadow of its predecessor to stake out its own legacy. Fajo has fully turned into this monstrous being and we can see that he's not just a Harry Mudd, a sort of huckster and thief. He's much darker then that. It inevitably takes the episode to a conclusion that can leave you profoundly disquieted or entirely satisfied, depending on your own views. Or, you can find yourself in deeper contemplation of Data's true self and whether your beliefs about him have changed. The episode really works on all cylinders and gives us a better understanding of the character, while not forgetting to tell an engaging and dramatic story in the process.

There's a few scenes of Wesley and his whining over Data's demise, and that's just annoying, but what can ya do?

Okay, I've really gotta get this off of my chest.

The appeal of Lego, and why it's probably the greatest toy ever invented, is that your imagination takes control. When kids play with Lego, they aren't trying to build what's on the box. They aren't trying to recreate the actual "intended" Lego set. Or, you shouldn't be. That's not what you do with Lego blocks. Lego is about giving you building blocks to build whatever is deep within your heart, yearning to break free and take form in physical space. When I was a kid, I just took my pile of Lego blocks and built World War II battleships, the RMS Titanic, BattleMechs with gantries, USS Enterprise starships, aircraft carriers... whatever I could think of. It was pure delight and the reason Lego is so popular worldwide. That gift of creation is universal and appeals to everyone.

So... I really just don't fucking understand what's going on with these Lego games with Traveller's Tales . What is going on here? I watch videos of the gameplay, and it just seems like arcadey action games where you shoot stuff and gold Lego chips fall on you. Well, who the hell wants that? Who wants to play a bland arcade game with a Lego block aesthetic? Who cares about shooting stuff for points? They've completely missed the point of Lego! Where is the act of putting blocks together to form whatever you want? Where is that joy of physical construction? That tiny tug of frustration when you realize there's a piece that's stuck on too tight and you have to wiggle it free in order to perfect your creation? If I wanted to play as Batman in a video game, I'd play Arkham City, not Lego Batman.

I dunno. I just don't get it.

Interesting thing I noticed about the Scimitar from Nemesis.

Back in DS9, they needed a design for the Dominion Battlecruiser. This was supposed to be the big badass capital ship of the Dominion, before they revealed the Battleship in "Valiant." The art design guy assigned to create this new ship was one John Eaves:

The DS9 station's docking ports make absolutely no sense. See, most ships seem to dock at the main docking ring. These ports are connected to ports in the bow of the ships. However, it doesn't seem to make any sense for certain ships. I'm not sure if it's laziness on the part of the production staff, or something else. But I'm gonna go with laziness, since they couldn't even be bothered to create shield bubbles for battle scenes.   

Let's talk some more about that silly ship the Defiant.
 
The Defiant had a cloaking device and after the first two episodes that pesky Romulan officer mysteriously vanished, so they could use the cloaking device whenever they wanted to, even out of the Gamma Quadrant. They just gave the Defiant the cloak so the ubership could be even more uber. Ira Steven Behr just liked doing whatever he wanted to, and he wanted to show you how kewl his ship could be, because fuck the Federation and Gene's policy of not sneaking around. Federation ships not having cloaking devices is so lamesauce, isn't it? So the Defiant had to have a cloak, which the friendly Romulans were kind enough to hand over. Sure, that made sense. Sure the Romulans, who had just brutally tried to turn Geordi into an assassin, sure they'd hand over their cloak to the Federation. Because they needed the data from the Gamma Quadrant, and they couldn't just get it in their own cloaked ship. The Romulans didn't have any cloaked ships of their own to explore with. They just had to get the data from the Federation, for some reason. They had to give the Defiant the cloak. Sure, they're not paranoid or secretive or hostile at all. It all makes perfect sense. And that Romulan officer leaving after the first few episodes... she probably just had some vacation time saved up and had to leave. No need to take back the cloak, the Romulans love the Federation. It made total sense. Or maybe that Romulan officer was still around, but we just never ever saw her oncamera again. Maybe they just kept her hidden inside one of the Defiant's supply closets, and she just monitored the cloak from there. Why not? Don't worry about pesky little details like that. The important thing is, we gave the Defiant a cloaking device. Because Federations ships are lame without cloaks. It's just so darn boring. We gotta give em more, more, more. Spice things up. It doesn't matter that they aren't allowed to have cloaks by the Treaty of Algeron. That's stupid, man. Give em cloaks, so we'll be such a cool show. It's such a cool little ship, ain't it. It's got a cloak and ablative armor and phaser cannons and it's really small and fast and it doesn't afraid of anything.
 
In all seriousness now: It's like the US giving China an F-22 stealth fighter in order to gather intel on North Korea. Would we ever do that? No, hell no. And it's obvious why. Not to mention that the Romulans had just learned that the Federation was trying to develop phased cloak technology and break the Treaty of Algeron, in "Pegasus." Is this knowledge going to make the Romulans more favorable to handing over their own cloaking technology? Hmmm, let's think about this one. I think the answer here is no. And one Romulan officer being sufficient protection is laughable. Remember, these are Romulans... a deeply paranoid people who excel in cloak and dagger. The thought of one lone Romulan officer protecting the cloak would hardly help the Romulan High Command sleep at night. And after the introduction, even that one Romulan officer disappeared. Even that flimsy excuse was done away with.

The Romulans also wouldn't care about risking one of their ships in the Gamma Quadrant, as opposed to relying on the Defiant. They seem to place relatively little value on life. They sent a lone ship across the Neutral Zone to test their new cloak (Balance of Terror). They sent a lone scout ship across the Neutral Zone to scout Galorndon Core (The Enemy). They blew up a scout ship to trick the Federation into buying the story of a defector (The Defector). They sent Warbirds to intercept Tinman at maximum warp, causing serious damage to their warp drives (Tinman). They blew up their own transports that were about to invade Vulcan (Unification Pt 2). They sent Remans to fight as cannon fodder (Nemesis). The Romulans were perfectly fine with risking their own ships and lives, so I don't understand why they now felt like they had to rely on the Federation for help.
 
And guess what happened when the Defiant went through the wormhole with the cloaking device for the first time. Answer: It got boarded and captured and the entire crew were placed in some VR simulation. The Dominion could now just take the captured cloaking device and reverse engineer it, or develop counter measures. So the Romulans would've never handed it over to some soft Federation crew. If they'd sent their own ship in to scout the Dominion, they could've given them orders to self destruct in case they were about to be boarded. The Romulans had no control over the Defiant or its crew. So no, it made no sense to hand the Federation a cloak.