I'm sorry, I just saw this movie and uh.... didn't think it was that great. The first half is pretty good, but the second half and what goes on in it... it was just bewildering, and not in a good way.

A Blunderbuss? Why did they use such a strange and bizarre weapon? You can't hit anything further then fifteen yards away? I was puzzling the entire movie why he held onto this dumb weapon.

10% of everyone magically gets telekinesis? Huh? What? How did this happen? Why did people become mutants? None of this is ever explained. I'm okay with cars getting solar panels stapled onto them in the future, but everybody getting TK is a little harder to buy. This was of course needed for the Rainmaker plotline... which I also wasn't a fan of.

In the future, killing someone is way too difficult because people are tagged. Okay, but apparently kidnapping is a piece of cake and arouses no suspicions? The tags don't work against kidnapping?

This crime syndicate has control over the entire city, to the point where he can send out loud noisy helicopters at all hours? There aren't any police? No local government? Really?

Joe is not a likeable protagonist. This guy has killed hundreds of people, just judging by how many silver bars he's stashed away. Not to mention that he quickly gives up his "best friend" to an incredibly gruesome fate. Then in the future, he runs low on cash and ends up doing hits in China, killing tons more people. This guy is a huge scumbag.

Okay, so he eventually settles down and marries a much younger Chinese woman. Fine, that montage was cool. But we find out he carries a watch with her picture in it, and he's constantly struggling to remember her throughout the story. This is supposed to be the emotional core of the movie, but... it's not executed well at all. I mean, it's like the picture of Sarah Connor that Kyle Reese carries with him in Terminator 1, obviously. Or the picture that Marty carries with him in Back to the Future. That's what Rian Johnson's going for, I bet. But the picture of Sarah Connor actually paid off in the end. Here, I didn't feel like that watch was all that meaningful. Once Young Joe hooks up with Emily Blunt's character, you're expecting a scene where the picture on the watch changes from the Chinese woman to Blunt. Or something. Something should happen with that watch. But we don't get that. I dunno, it felt like a wasted opportunity.

They can control where the time machine teleports people to. We see that Joe's hits always teleport out to an empty cornfield, while Paul Dano's hits teleport out to a parking lot. And Bruce Willis enters the time machine when it's located in China somewhere. So... if they have this much control, why don't they just teleport the victims back to a location a couple miles under the ocean?

Old Joe busts in and wipes out Jeff Daniels and his entire gang. But we never actually see how he breaks out of Kid Blue's cuffs. He just randomly shoots Kid Blue even though he'd been taken captive?

The entire Rainmaker plotline makes up the second half of the movie but it never felt compelling or interesting. Hell, we never even see the Rainmaker in the future, except for a shitty 5 second newsfeed. Why am I supposed to care about this Rainmaker at all? You never see how he affected the future, so you feel nothing. And the whole thing with the kid was like this random Carrie reenactment thrown into the movie. I didn't care about the kid, cause you could clearly see he needed to be killed. Jesus Christ, yelling at Emily Blunt over and over like that? I'm with Bruce Willis, end his life. Of course, the levitation scenes also reminded me of Chronicle, which is a rather unfortunate coincidence, because I cared a lot more about Chronicle's characters then these characters.

Bruce Willis has normal looking lips, I think. So why the hell did Joseph Gordon-Levitt need huge fucking prosthetic lips? That thing on his mouth really distracted me.

And yes, I did wonder about how Emily Blunt knew about loopers.

Why is young Joe learning French? It's to get away and move to France. Okay, but is he doing this to try to escape the mafia men coming to get him in the future? That's understandable, but doesn't he know that this is futile since he'll have closed his loop, thus knowing that he eventually will get caught?

And btw, how do these seemingly dumb mafia guys track down a guy in China after 30 years? Are they all Sherlock Holmes? How can they be so damn good at tracking loopers down? China in the future probably has a population of three billion. These mafia guys found old Joe in that? Really?

And now that I think about it, how does the present criminal syndicate immediately know that a looper has failed to close his loop? In the movie, young Joe hands in his blunderbuss and some of the silver bars. I guess that's meant to show that he did his job. But then... couldn't he just do this without killing the victims? Just take some of their silver and let them go? The body ends up in a furnace, so there's no evidence. Yet right after Paul Dano and young Joe fail their assignments, the crime lord somehow immediately knows that they let their victims go. How?

It's almost impossible to murder someone in the future, but they rather quickly shoot and kill old Joe's Chinese wife. Huh? Why didn't they just kill both of them and leave them in that burning house? Why go to the trouble of sending old Joe back in time? If you have to use time travel, why not send old Joe's wife's body back in time?

In the montage of Joe through the years, we see him killing a whole hell of a lot of people in China. But wait... wasn't it almost impossible to kill people in the future and get away with it? How is he doing this?

They never explained why the Rainmaker was closing all the loops. You might say it was because his mother was killed by a Looper. But this would be incorrect, a Looper did not kill his mother. In the first iteration of the timeline, young Joe kills old Joe and goes off to Shanghai and gets married. Joe never meets Cid. Cid and Sarah live on a farm in peace. So Cid would have no reason to hate loopers. Then we hear that the Rainmaker is now closing all the loops. Why is he doing this?!

6.5/10