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delta_ass

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Review: The Amazing Spider-Man

This movie was... not that amazing.

And I gotta say, James Horner's score was truly horrific. Just completely out of place for most scenes. It's pretty much one heroic/inspirational motif that just gets used over and over and over again, when it just doesn't really fit at all. Elfman's score for Raimi's movies wasn't the most memorable thing ever, but it's way better then what Horner gave us.

What happened to that evil Indian guy? How did Gwen Stacy come up with that antidote for the Lizard's serum? Did she just use a magical antidote machine? And how would a girl in high school become a head intern at a huge science division anyways? Isn't that something you'd give to a graduate student? Am I wrong here?

Why didn't Aunt May ever ask more questions about his mysterious injuries? They show her finding out, but then just drop it. At the end of the movie, he's shown with huge slashes across his face, but Aunt May doesn't care because he brought her organic eggs? Really? That's it?

You think they're going to explain how he makes the webshooters in this movie, but we just get a quick ten second montage? That's it? If you're going to explain the damn things, actually go ahead and show us, don't just handwave it away with a montage that's over in a split second.

The entire movie has this strange schizophrenic shift between tones. Sometimes it's a nice romantic story between two teens, then it goes darker with a gritty realism that's reminiscent of Nolan's Batman Begins, and then... you see an entire SWAT team get turned into mutant lizards, and it becomes completely ridiculous and silly. I can't take it seriously when the movie has a bunch of poorly done CGI shots of SWAT operatives turning into lizardmen, sorry. It doesn't work together as a cohesive whole. They even manage to sneak in a bit of horror with a giant mutant rat eating the remains of another.

Of course, you've also got the cheesy scene where all the construction workers turn their cranes to form a path for Spider-Man. First of all... it's just cheesy and ham-fisted. Took me completely out of the movie. But worse is the fact that... it doesn't even make any sense. Why would Spider-Man need a bunch of cranes to form a path to the OsCorp building? There's already a huge row of skyscrapers for him to swing across to get to the OsCorp building. The cranes weren't necessary at all!

Curt Connors is supposed to be this sympathetic villain reminiscent of Doc Ock from Spider-Man 2, but I never really felt that much sympathy for him. He just seemed like an evil douche most of the time. Doesn't help that they cast a guy with a snobbish British accent. That's not exactly endearing the audience to the man.

Uncle Ben gets angry at Peter for not taking Aunt May home. Now at first... I could see that yeah, that's a bad thing. But then... I thought about it and it didn't make a lick of sense. Did Peter Parker own a car? He doesn't, does he? He mostly just uses the subway and then skateboards around. So... how the fuck was he supposed to take Aunt May home? Was his skateboard big enough to fit both of them? What was Peter supposed to do?

And finally... that voicemail that Uncle Ben sent. The one that Peter finally listens to at the end of the movie. This was just dumb. Nobody in their right mind sends a voicemail like that. It was this big momentous speech and Uncle Ben asks Peter to be his hero? Really? But nobody gives a speech like that in a random voicemail. Just bad, bad writing.

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delta_ass

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Edited By delta_ass

This movie was... not that amazing.

And I gotta say, James Horner's score was truly horrific. Just completely out of place for most scenes. It's pretty much one heroic/inspirational motif that just gets used over and over and over again, when it just doesn't really fit at all. Elfman's score for Raimi's movies wasn't the most memorable thing ever, but it's way better then what Horner gave us.

What happened to that evil Indian guy? How did Gwen Stacy come up with that antidote for the Lizard's serum? Did she just use a magical antidote machine? And how would a girl in high school become a head intern at a huge science division anyways? Isn't that something you'd give to a graduate student? Am I wrong here?

Why didn't Aunt May ever ask more questions about his mysterious injuries? They show her finding out, but then just drop it. At the end of the movie, he's shown with huge slashes across his face, but Aunt May doesn't care because he brought her organic eggs? Really? That's it?

You think they're going to explain how he makes the webshooters in this movie, but we just get a quick ten second montage? That's it? If you're going to explain the damn things, actually go ahead and show us, don't just handwave it away with a montage that's over in a split second.

The entire movie has this strange schizophrenic shift between tones. Sometimes it's a nice romantic story between two teens, then it goes darker with a gritty realism that's reminiscent of Nolan's Batman Begins, and then... you see an entire SWAT team get turned into mutant lizards, and it becomes completely ridiculous and silly. I can't take it seriously when the movie has a bunch of poorly done CGI shots of SWAT operatives turning into lizardmen, sorry. It doesn't work together as a cohesive whole. They even manage to sneak in a bit of horror with a giant mutant rat eating the remains of another.

Of course, you've also got the cheesy scene where all the construction workers turn their cranes to form a path for Spider-Man. First of all... it's just cheesy and ham-fisted. Took me completely out of the movie. But worse is the fact that... it doesn't even make any sense. Why would Spider-Man need a bunch of cranes to form a path to the OsCorp building? There's already a huge row of skyscrapers for him to swing across to get to the OsCorp building. The cranes weren't necessary at all!

Curt Connors is supposed to be this sympathetic villain reminiscent of Doc Ock from Spider-Man 2, but I never really felt that much sympathy for him. He just seemed like an evil douche most of the time. Doesn't help that they cast a guy with a snobbish British accent. That's not exactly endearing the audience to the man.

Uncle Ben gets angry at Peter for not taking Aunt May home. Now at first... I could see that yeah, that's a bad thing. But then... I thought about it and it didn't make a lick of sense. Did Peter Parker own a car? He doesn't, does he? He mostly just uses the subway and then skateboards around. So... how the fuck was he supposed to take Aunt May home? Was his skateboard big enough to fit both of them? What was Peter supposed to do?

And finally... that voicemail that Uncle Ben sent. The one that Peter finally listens to at the end of the movie. This was just dumb. Nobody in their right mind sends a voicemail like that. It was this big momentous speech and Uncle Ben asks Peter to be his hero? Really? But nobody gives a speech like that in a random voicemail. Just bad, bad writing.