Brother, look I've been in some dark fucking places in my mind. Thought some truly horrible things. I'm by far not someone to be giving out sagely advice but I'll tell you this. Life is about perspective man. Even in the darkest hour you can always instead of focusing on the dark hold to that one glimmer at the end of the tunnel. Whatever that is for you find it and hold on to it. It could be a friend or a family member or hell even something silly like just wanting to see what is around the corner for Giantbomb.
The mettle of a man is tested when he is in his darkest hour. Be strong and don't give up. Death is eternal and we all have to face it eventually but until then there is so much for you to experience here among the living. I've never met you but I love you man. You're part of this stupid dysfunctional family we call Giantbomb. Family has to look out for each other. Besides that what would Ryan think man? You respected the guy didn't you? He was a man that loved life and took it by the goddamn throat and squeezed every drop out. Be like Ryan Davis. Grab life by the throat and take charge.