I'm not sure what drinks are going to be on this week's podcast so this might be a completely preemptive review.

I felt a bit odd sending a drink to the Giant Bomb crew without having tried it myself, so I'm sampling one at the moment, possibly at exactly the same time Ryan is pouring out the second for Jeff and Vinny and a reluctant Brad.

Black currants aren't a terribly popular fruit here in North America - they're much bigger in Europe, where the berries grow well in cold temperatures and make decent jams and jellies, and I think they're also used for syrup. If I recall my agricultural history their disuse here resulted from a ban over the currant plants carrying fungus or something of that nature. Maybe it was a pest or disease, I'm not quite sure.

They are grown now, however, and here in BC there are a few dozen tonnes produced every year. It's not much compared to the more popular berries (like blueberries), but still more than ten years ago.

If no one has had currants before, they're very much like wild blueberries - a little more tart than the commercial varieties and a more complex flavour. In many ways they taste like Saskatoon berries, which, coincidentally, is also another flavour of Beaver Buzz. Arguably the best flavour of Buzz, for that matter.

Anyway, to this Black Currant Energy.

It pours with no fizz and lacks much of the carbonation of the more popular energy drinks. It's a very, very dark purple colour and almost looks black unless you hold it up to the light. It also smells suspiciously like grape Mr. Freezies.

Kind of tastes like them, too. You can tell it's sugar and not corn syrup, and the currants (or fake currant flavouring, although I think it's the real stuff) give it a nice tangy edge. I kind of wish for more carbonation and less sugar, but it's not bad. I don't think I could drink an entire one, however...the colour is just a tiny bit too frightening.

Actually, I'm not getting any energy drink aftertaste, which is nice. Maybe that's the nicest think I can say about it.

The Saskatoon Berry one is better. The Green Tea? It's been ages since I've had one, but I remember it tasting like canned iced tea with a bit of an edge to it. If anything will get Brad in the game it's that one. And oddly enough, the only other energy drink I've seen with a black currant flavour is Bomba, which they taste tested on last week's podcast.

edit - after letting the dregs of my glass warm slowly up to room temperature I'm going to have to revise my description of the smell. It smells like a homemade red wine that hasn't quite aged long enough in the bottle - sweet and tangy but just a bit too green. I'm going to guess this thing mixes well with alcohol, too, although  I don't want to try that myself.

There are games in Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection that I've never played before. All of them surprised me - some in a good way, most not so much. I'll even ignore the horrible, horrible title of the compilation itself.

Beyond Oasis

I played long enough to get the achievement, which isn't very long in terms of time (maybe 15 minutes) but long enough to assess the game. It's like someone took Zelda and Aladdin and Streets of Rage and put them in a blender. The game plays out suspiciously like Zelda, has a vague arabian theme and a main dude who wears Aladdin-esque baggy pants, and the combat is more beat-em-up than the Zelda-like poke enemies until they die. It's weird.

It's also kind of crap. Movement is wonky and the main character's animation is terrible. He doesn't walk - he saunters. He crabwalks when you hold the jump button, which looks ridiculous. His legs are obviously not attached to the rest of his body (in an Abuse sort of way) which is just plain creepy. And finally, as a Zelda rip-off it falls short. Now that I have the achievement do I want to play more? No thanks.

Decap-Attack

This one was in the previous collection, I think, but I didn't have any urge to play it because it looked stupid.

It is stupid.

You play a mummy with no head, but wait! Your head is in your chest and you can pop it out to attack dudes. You can also pick up a fake head that launches when you attack whether you  want it to or not. You can also jump, and tapping the jump button while falling causes you to flutter your feet like Luigi and float down. Why? I have no idea. Jumping after building up momentum causes you to jump higher, which you'll need to reach higher platforms.

Unfortunately, as weird as the main guy is, the levels are terrible. They're ugly, boring, and are terribly designed. Pillars you can walk behind look the same as impassable walls. Some ledges blend in with the background. Statues sometimes pop enemies out, which get an auto hit on your. Health is hard to come by. Potions are useless.

Next.

Kid Chameleon

Also in the last collection. Also skipped it before. Also played it now only because of an achievement. Like Decap-Attack, the levels are terrible and uninspired. Unlike Decap-Attack, the main character is boring as hell. This game sucks.

Alex Kidd and the Enchanted Castle (or is that IN the Enchanted Castle?)

Yuck. Okay, I got 1000 yen. I never have to play it again. THANK GOD.

E-SWAT

Generic shooter. And I mean generic. You walk around, jump, shoot bad guys who look like you, only palette swapped, and move around some really ugly levels. Also, whoever designed the second level is a dick - it's terrible. Did all these companies hire the same asshole to design levels for all of these Sega games? The levels suck. Anyway, after the second level you get a big suit of armor that looks kind of ridiculous, but nothing else really changes except your bullets get bigger and more numerous. I don't know if anything magical happens later on because I'm never going to play any more.

Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine

Dr. Robotnik is an asshole - I swear he cheats when I play against him. Barring that, I absolutely hate falling block puzzle games. The only thing I hate more are competitive falling block puzzle games, because they mix two horrible things (puzzle games and frustration) and combine them into one black hole of gaming.

Also, I hate Columns. Maybe it was cool in its day. Maybe. Either way, it sucks now.

Golden Axe(s)

I've played these before and I don't really like playing them gain (damn achivements). They're some of the most generic brawlers I've ever played and the controls aren't even  all that satisfying. About the only memorable thing they have going for them are the stupid gnomes that run around begging to be beaten for magic potions and the lame digitized screams of the fallen enemies.

With all three Streets of Rage games in the collection, I see no reason why I will ever touch Golden Axe again. And I'm mystified as to their popularity, especially in the light of the recent Golden Axe release on the PS3 and 360. Yes, it's terrible, but what did people expect? The old games were terrible too.

Fatal Labyrinth

Okay, I'm weird, I liked this one. It's basically just Rogue with prettier graphics. There's not much to it, but there's also not much like this on consoles either. Too easy,  though - I never came close to dying and there are far too many weapons lying around the dungeons.

Bonanza Brothers

This one is terrible but I loved smashing cops behind doors. You can game the achievement by doing so. Also, the graphical style is amusing...it's like Leisure Suit Larry meets Spy vs. Spy.

Phantasy Star/Phantasy Star II/Phantasy Star III

Time is a cruel mistress.


Most of the other stuff is pretty damn awesome, though. All the Sonics, the Eccos, the Streets of Rages (except the first, which is ridiculously slow), Phantasy Star IV, Ristar, etc.

Well, except for Gain Ground. Ugh.

Excerpt from the iTunes App store for Puzzle Quest Chapter 1:

"The Battle of Gruulkar is the first chapter in the trilogy of the Puzzle Quest Challenge of the Warlords for iPhone and iPod Touch. Each chapter offers you the unique ability to store characters, spells and high scores, allowing you to carry your characters forward to Chapters 2 and 3, coming soon to the App Store."

Puzzle Quest on iPhone? Awesome. Puzzle Quest on iPhone split into three $10 chunks to take advantage of consumers?

Fuck you, Transgaming.

Rolando is ten bucks. Sim City is ten bucks. Puzzle Quest should be ten bucks.

Very few game addons are actually worth the points you have to shell out for them. I think the only one I've purchased this year is the pack for Project Gotham Racing 4, which added ten cars or so, a bunch of new modes, challenges, and online race types. Much of it was also offered as a free pack, so that everyone could use part of the new content. Not that it mattered, I suppose, since PGR4 sold poorly. I'm not even sure where my money went, now that Bizarre Creations is with Activision and Turn 10 now has the PGR license, so my whole plan of supporting dudes who work hard and make good games probably backfired.

I did also purchase an awful lot of Rock Band DLC, but I don't really count that alongside the other stuff as it's sort of a platform unto itself. I don't even want to think about how much I spent on songs for that game...I just know I have well over 4GB of DLC for it.

The top on my list of unashamed DLC would have to be PAIN. That game came free with my PS3 - fine, I guess, as I didn't have to pay anything for it. I wouldn't have paid anything for it - it's a shell of a game and not worth $10. Now it has what...two extra level packs at $5 each, plus a good dozen $1 characters? A person could easily spend $30 on PAIN, which is ridiculous. LittleBigPlanet's DLC costumes are almost as bad, since they're little more than Oblivion horse armor...only they come in a larger variety of styles.