Rockstar develops this 3rd person action game reboot and for some odd reason a 360 exclusive (which upsets a lot of people). The story is epic, chronicling changes in the 'bayou' starting with Katrina and culiminating with recent events with the oil spill. The final boss is a BP underwater robot piloted by majority stockholder Godfather Gordon! The game is rated M primarily for the inclusion an uncomfortable Mass Effectesque sex scene with Annabelle Lane. In an ironic twist the game is really easy to beat.
Copious amounts of eye ball and brain monsters are back...in this XBLA/PSN game, ala Aegis Wing. Quite frankly no one really wanted a full retail version of Abadox (except a small vocal minority); but at least we get it on the marketplace. But in an inspired stroke of egotism they title it Abadox 2: The Deadlier Inner War (assuming people should remember the original). It goes onsale for 1200 points, but within a few months it gets slashed to 400, sales are not promising.
Exorbitant sums of money are spent developing a reboot across all consoles. It never sees the light of day but screens are leaked and it looks absolutely insane. Activision ends up with the rights after a nasty and rather random court battle. People get pissed and blame them for the game never coming out.
I'm thinking like really avante garde and prentious, with super stylized graphics. It ends up being not very fun but is critically considered a masterpiece and if you diss it on a forum you get flamed unremittingly.
This is the direction Tony Hawk should be going, and it does! As the two franchises merge. People ask why didn't they just remake Road Rash instead? Well they didn't they made f-ing Skitchin', deal with it! They keep the now sort of anarchonistic mid 90s 'extreme' style, which works to ironic benefit.
EPIC goes on a personal crusade to see this revived. It ends up kind of looking like Gears (what do you expect?) but is surprisingly innovative and fun to play. A moderate hit, it does generate mild controversy for featuring the armies of North and South Korea instead of the fictional havoc and chaos armies of the original.
Just like it was random to see "The Goonies II" back in 87 it will be even more random to see The Goonies III show up on the DS next holiday season as a Metroid-Vania style sidescroller. Samwise, the asian kid, and Corey Feldman are all retained to do voice over work (Chunk wanted too much money).
Let's see another Hexen, why not? I liked the random time-travel of the Hexen 2, so that stays in. Instead of Medieval-Egypt-Aztec-Rome this time they go with Feudal Japan-Ancient Babylon-Viking-Caveman times (the 4 horsemen are back too for the hell of it). The graphics are sweet but no one seems to care because it's Hexen III.
Bioware gets the rights and turns it into their usual Mass Effect/KOTOR/Jade Empire style game. They get criticized for doing the same style of game, but in the end no one cares because those style of games are friggin awesome. Think of the character possibilities! The car combat comes out surprisingly good. I end up personally loving this game, and the sequel set in the 80s even more.
Boom! Jaws is back and the submarine is now upgradeable and so is your ship. Jaws has the scarred messed up face just like in Jaws 2. Michael Caine makes a cameo in several of the goregeously rendered CGI cutscenes. (Michael Caine is in Jaws the Revenge, I'm aware he wasn't in the original, thanks for the message.)
I'm thinking like one of those random ass Russian developers makes this one; really wanting to reclaim the character for themselves. It ends up kind of janky and not many people play it, but they really nail the lightning intro thing (which is like half the game anyway).
Essentially the same game, but this time it has Tiger Woods in it, in a vain attempt to rebuild his image. Classic courses like Pebble Beach and Augusta are added alongside Mario esque worlds like the Haunted House and Rainbow Road. Wario ends up being overpowered.
Square somehow gets the rights and it comes off as a JRPG. It's Japanese as all shit which doesn't help Michael's image as being a potential child molester (or did we all forget about that because he's dead??). They don't get full liscening of his music though so it has to be covered by Japanese pop bands (whoever is popular when the game is made...but not popular when it is released). Still Japanofiles love it and the Special Edition is released with tons of extra concept art and the Thriller video on a disc. Sells well but not many end up making it through the entire 80 hour campaign.
Yes, it has power glove support. They kind of go for a retro-graphic style. It's kind of cool, but not that cool.
Left for dead by EA the Mutant League series revived, ironically, by the guys who developed the NFL 2k series. In a desperate move to compete with Madden (Even though it isn't the same audience, and the move really makes no sense), they get Bo Jackson to be in the game. They also try to incorporate the giant mouth goal thing from Mutant League Hockey into the uprights but that doesn't turn out so good.
Following the moderate sales of Mutant League Football, the same guys decide to reboot another 'classic' Genesis Football series. (the word classic has never been used so liberally) Jerry Glanville is happy to come on board but no one else is. It ends up going to XBLA to die.
It's back as a hybrid FPS racing game. Lots of buzz on this one until it is learned to be a Wii exclusive. Which means the graphics will suck. Why is graphics important in a paperboy game? They aren't really but that's what people say. I'm thinking this one will see moderate sales but it seems to be more popular than it actually is, because of the vocal hardcore fanbase.
Yeah he's back and this time it's personal. No longer a kid this time he is middle aged (so it's set in the future). The world needs saving and most of the people are dead so he is the best thing we got. In a total meta-reverse ending Kid Chameleon (now known as Mr. Chameleon) ends up being the bad guy. The game is slammed for 1)ripping of BioShock with a twist ending (even though its kind of different) and 2)being a fucking Kid Chameleon sequel. Sales are good.
I'd like to see another one. It comes back but is essentially the same game as part 2, which means it's essentially the same as part 1. Oh well, I still liked it.
This time it's Lebron-fu. Maybe Shaq could be an unlockable character(?) Let's keep the crazy mutants and other things he fights. They make the game a 3D fighter though, which proves to be a mistake as the core fan base wants it 2D. They patch it and it goes to 2d (yeah they can patch LeBron Fu and it will change from 3D to 2D, it's a pretty amazing patch).
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