Middle School Bans Broness


Two notorious trouble makers caught in the act! What are our schools coming to!?
Working in public schools I've seen and heard about my fair share of idiotic school rules. I've seen students expelled for turning in a boyscout knife they accidentally left in their jacket pocket, large swaths of the color wheel and the entire alphabet banned from student clothing, and the elimination of all forms of competition and celebration in the classroom, but this rule just issued by the administration at East Shore Middle School in Connecticut takes the cake. After a series of rampant groin kickings at their school the principal decided that the obvious solutio n was to BAN ALL FORMS OF PHYSICAL CONTACT. That includes shaking hands, high fives, pats on the back, hugging, kissing, virtually all forms of horse play, and, of coarse, the fist bump! Now I could lists a whole host of reasons why this rule is not only ludicrous on its face but also virtually unenforceable, but I think this rule speaks for itself. Congratulations East Shore administraition, your school finally made the news! You really showed the world just how well you can handle regular school discipline problems. Hope you're proud of yourselves!
45 Comments
46 Comments
Posted by Fade2Gray

Two notorious trouble makers caught in the act! What are our schools coming to!?
Working in public schools I've seen and heard about my fair share of idiotic school rules. I've seen students expelled for turning in a boyscout knife they accidentally left in their jacket pocket, large swaths of the color wheel and the entire alphabet banned from student clothing, and the elimination of all forms of competition and celebration in the classroom, but this rule just issued by the administration at East Shore Middle School in Connecticut takes the cake. After a series of rampant groin kickings at their school the principal decided that the obvious solutio n was to BAN ALL FORMS OF PHYSICAL CONTACT. That includes shaking hands, high fives, pats on the back, hugging, kissing, virtually all forms of horse play, and, of coarse, the fist bump! Now I could lists a whole host of reasons why this rule is not only ludicrous on its face but also virtually unenforceable, but I think this rule speaks for itself. Congratulations East Shore administraition, your school finally made the news! You really showed the world just how well you can handle regular school discipline problems. Hope you're proud of yourselves!
Posted by regularassmilk

I...I almost don't believe it.
That's motherfucking ridiculous.

Posted by Video_Game_King

This just in, a Rhode Island school has banned speaking on school grounds due to complaints of vulgar language and verbal bullying from many parents.

Posted by Pie

I read the title wrong. I thought it said "middle school bans boners".

Posted by deathfury

My preschool had no touching allowed, so all of us little kids could not fist bump back in the day...

Posted by Vinchenzo

So now you'll have to do your fist bumps behind a well-placed backpack? Just makes it that much better.

Posted by Diamond

When I went to middle school there was far more bad physical contact between students than good.  Constant fights, lots of negative pinching and other immature stuff.  Of course you don't want middle schoolers feeling each other up either, so I think this might be a good thing.

Posted by RetroIce4

There goes my hope for humanity.

Posted by Wolverine

That is a pretty ridiculous rule. Imagine getting detention for bumping fists with your friend. Even the president bumps fists!

Posted by Jayge_

As someone from Fairfield County, this has been making the rounds in the local newspapers for a little while now. Yes, it's stupid. The administrators claim that there is no "no-touching" policy, but students claim teachers forbid all contact. It's a weird situation. School districts in general around here are utterly incompetent.

Posted by graphicartist21

kid a: Yeah we won!

kid b: High five!

Administrator: Report straight to detention, and we will discuss whether to strip you of your award due to your lude behavior.

Ridiculous!

Posted by addictedtopinescent

This is so ridiculous, I don't know what to say

Posted by addictedtopinescent

This is so ridiculous, I don't know what to say.

Posted by zityz

High fives leads to intimacy!

Posted by Coltonio7
zityz said:
"High fives leads to intimacy!"

Posted by Teptom

I'll dedicate every fist bump I do from now on to those unfortunate kids.

Posted by ParanoidFreak

Ridiculous? Yes, but it's also pretty funny.

Posted by graphicartist21

Fist bumping is just a high five away from a life a crime

Posted by Video_Game_King
graphicartist21 said:
"Fist bumping is just a high five away from a life a crime"
Yet at the same time, it's zero steps away from terrorism. Where did I hear it? Fox News, of course. Why would they lie to me :P?
Posted by MC_Izawa

If we get rid of the hippity-hop music, the baggy trousers, the colored shirts, and all them secret handshakes the gangs will just disappear!!!

Posted by Systech

When in need, use the "secret" handshake. No one will know!

Posted by graphicartist21

Its time to dust off the air high five

Posted by AgentJ

Schools have really taken the rules way too far. I remember by the time i was through with Middle and High school, Dodgeball (my favorite sport to play AND my favorite comedy) was completely outlawed in P.E. I mean REALLY? And so Skinners plan to remove Music Gym and Art was successful.

Edited by Fade2Gray

@AgentJ
It's really sad. A lot of students don't even get electives any more because they have to double up on the subjects they have the most difficulty in. On top of that NCLB has many schools handing out written tests in PE instead of ACTUALLY encouraging physical activity. And we wonder why so many students are acting out in school!

Posted by AgentJ
Fade2Gray said:
"@AgentJIt's really sad. A lot of kids don't even get electives any more because they have to double up on the subjects they have the most difficulty in. On top of that NCLB has many schools handing out written tests in PE instead of ACTUALLY encouraging physical activity. And we wonder why so many students are acting out in school!"
I know. The American school system needs renovition and change so badly that i can barely stand it. Especially since i'll be taking teaching classses in college once the quarter starts.
Posted by jakob187

Dood, this is a good rule.  I mean, come on...seriously...


...first, it's high fives...

...then, you're jerkin off your friend in the bathroom stalls...

I'm glad that they are making sure no more jerking off is happening in those bathroom stalls!  I have to pee there, ya know!

Then again, a 26 year old in a middle school bathroom stall is already bad news...
Posted by AgentJ
jakob187 said:
"Dood, this is a good rule.  I mean, come on...seriously...

...first, it's high fives...

...then, you're jerkin off your friend in the bathroom stalls...

I'm glad that they are making sure no more jerking off is happening in those bathroom stalls!  I have to pee there, ya know!

Then again, a 26 year old in a middle school bathroom stall is already bad news...
"
LOL!
Edited by FlipperDesert

Well, that certainly deals with your groin-kicking problem, at least.

Would anybody else make creepy eyes at everyone in protest if they went there? I mean, like, "I'm touching you with my eyes" levels of creepy.

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Posted by ValkyrieGoddess

That seems absurd.

Posted by Futbollar

Wow, just wow

Posted by TheGreatGuero

I'm not sure why you thought it was necessarily to group all physical contact as falling under the category of broness. Unless maybe it's an all boy school? Or perhaps you personally only make that kind of physical contact with dudes?

That's a great philosophy, though. To keep people from kicking each other in the groin, or punching each other in the face, let's just keep them from making any physical contact with each other whatsoever. What a fine idea! I'd like to find the person that instituted this rule and give them a nice, firm, no-contact handshake.

Posted by Fade2Gray

@TheGreatGuero
Attention grabbing is a fine, if imprecise, art. The title got your attention didn't? ; )

Posted by toxicEnchiliada

Don't follow it if enough people do this it will become like jay walking

Posted by Arkthemaniac

FIST BUMP! NOOOOOOOOOOO!


People at my school would die.
Posted by TooWalrus

I remember in elementary school playing red rover and almost snapping a kids neck making sure he didn't break through our chain... and it was awesome!

I was at a christian school for 2 years, in 4th and 5th grade. The school waged a war against Pokemon, because it "promoted evolution." So the kids would split down the middle, the Pokemon lovers and the Pokemon haters. We would sit at different lunch tables and everything... Thank God two years in an all dudes school in a foreign country straightened me the fuck out... although this rule^^ is twice as ridiculous.

Posted by Canberra

in england we NEVER fist bump.

Posted by jakob187
Canberra said:
"in england we NEVER fist bump."
LIES!  13-year-olds get pregnant over there!  Fist bumps ALWAYS lead to underage pregnancy!
Posted by AgentJ
TooWalrus said:
"I remember in elementary school playing red rover and almost snapping a kids neck making sure he didn't break through our chain... and it was awesome!I was at a christian school for 2 years, in 4th and 5th grade. The school waged a war against Pokemon, because it "promoted evolution." So the kids would split down the middle, the Pokemon lovers and the Pokemon haters. We would sit at different lunch tables and everything... Thank God two years in an all dudes school in a foreign country straightened me the fuck out... although this rule^^ is twice as ridiculous."
My elementary school banned the cards  (wow that was a long time ago) because there were too many fights over them and such. Thankfully they didnt ban the Pokemon Trading Card Game, which i played on my GBC for a long time.
Posted by Fade2Gray
jakob187 said:
"Canberra said:
"in england we NEVER fist bump."
LIES!  13-year-olds get pregnant over there!  Fist bumps ALWAYS lead to underage pregnancy!
"

And we know this because fist bumps are a sign of popularity, and we all know what that leads to...

Posted by Video_Game_King
jakob187 said:
"Canberra said:
"in england we NEVER fist bump."
LIES!  13-year-olds get pregnant over there!  Fist bumps ALWAYS lead to underage pregnancy!
"
...........Need I really post a Falcon Punch picture :P?
Posted by TwoOneFive

the principal is a fucking moron. 

Posted by Suicrat

Gotta love attempts by administrators (at every stage of life) who think that rule breakers will stop breaking the rules if they write more rules. Hooray for reality!

Posted by DuhQbnSiLo

Wow school system is full of fail now-a-days

Posted by Wright

should kick that guy square in the groin.

Posted by ahoodedfigure

Crazy BS.  Why is it that school rules have to be written so broadly as to cause all sorts of problems?  Is it so hard to be more specific?

Posted by natetodamax

School rules are just fucking stupid.

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