Hi everyone.

So I didn't think I'd end up writing anything up about the Ryan tragedy recently. I've been avoiding using the site a lot more in general nowadays, due to personal reasons. If you know me on this site, you'll know that I've been around for a while, and love me or hate me, I've been here since the site started. Like I mentioned earlier, I didn't think the Ryan thing would affect me, but it's actually turned into an unusual situation. When I first saw the news, I couldn't wrap my head around it. I thought, like many people, that this was some kind of sick joke, as I've come to expect from people like Ryan. But as the hours rolled on, I began to realise that this was a thing that was real, and I got very upset, very quickly. I wasn't like some people, who took days off work, or cried, or whatever, but I was very affected by Ryans passing. I'll try to elaborate why I was so upset:

Ever since the site started, I fell in love with the guys. I found Jeff to be wholly unlikeable at first, which, looking back on, I wonder how I ever imagined that. Must have been my age at the time. Nevertheless, like many of you, I found a lot of solace in the solidarity that seemed to exude from all the personalities on GB. I found comfort knowing that I could come home at night, after a bad day at university, and just chill out listening to the bombcast, or watching new QL's, or just....soaking the website in. I'm not embarassed to admit that I found out about GB in a difficult period in my life. I was dealing with some very severe depression issues at university, and knowing that I had a "home" as it were, was a very big anchor in a sea of overwhelming anxiety. I began to really identify with all the guys here, most of all Ryan, as his disgustingly foul humour was so...fresh and honest, that I instantly warmed to him, all the way up to his recent passing.

In the end, I'm happy that he was surrounded by the people he loved in the last few days of his life. Seeing the pictures from his wedding just personify who he was. A larger than life character, whos genuine passion, love for life and all in all bombastic personality will leave a big hole in a lot of peoples hearts, especially mine.

Godspeed, you magnificent bastard.

Hey dudes,

So...I've always been into Monster Hunter, philosophically, but I could never bring myself into actively getting into them. Maybe it's the fact that I couldn't do the claw because I have funky wrists. Maybe they came at a time when I couldn't dedicate myself to them, who knows? But I got MHU3 lately for the 3DS, and wow have I ever fallen hard into it. I don't quite know what it is about the game that really does it for me. It's probably the base mechanics and how I view the game as a whole. Allow me to elaborate:

The story in the game might aswell not be a thing. It's paper thin, and the dialogue doesn't do it for me either. I know the dudes at 8-4 do a great job translating...but I find myself skipping through any and all text to get to the real meat and potatoes of the game. The hunts. I know this might surprise you, but the main thing to do in MH3U is to hunt monsters, kill them, and use their parts to create new gear. Weird right? But despite the fact that the Giant Monster hunts are absolutely incredible (More on that later), it's the whole aspect of co-existing in the world that they've created that really adds to the atmosphere and tension (?) of the game. Let's say you've just tracked and killed a huge monster, but you're a LITTLE short of the items you need to craft a new bowgun. You can easily take 45 minutes to get out there in the world, mining ore, catching bugs, fishing up fish, getting honey- the things you might take as a pre-requisite to the hunt. The whole idea of self-sustainability in the MH franchise is one that really kinda does it for me. You're an adventurer who has to live off the land, and they've executed that in an incredibly satisfying manner. Not in a contrived way like Skyrim or something, but in a wholly realistic sense, where everything you collect, you feel satisfied for, because you went out of your way to pick it up. It's hard to describe how effective it is, but if you've played it, you probably get it.

If we're being granular about it, I'd probably liken the game to Dark Souls, despite the fact that may be a reductive comparison. The animation priority, the emphasis on game-play mechanics being used to create emergent story details, and the best of breed combat really put them in a similar world. I think that's why I was drawn so much to Ultimate 3rd. I was OBSESSED with Dark Souls. I did everything on that game, platinum trophy twice level of love for it. I still find it hard to play games that are not Dark Souls, really. But MH might be my new thing. Maybe.

Before I end, I'd be remiss if I didn't retell an anecdote about my latest "Big hunt". So I was chasing down a Giant Wroggi, a subspecies of dinosaur that's incredibly fast, vicious, and has a poison cloud AOE. After a bit of sneakery, creating potions, and preparing myself, I finally tracked him down to the North of my location. This was with 50 minutes on the clock. What then entailed was an incredibly harrowing 30 (This is not hyperbolic) minutes where our mutual back and forth was happening all over the map. I had him hit with a paintball, so I could track his movements. Then I hit a bit of a snag. I was getting kind of low...but I'd ran out of potions. I was at about 30% HP, and then the inevitable happened. He called in his friends, nothing more than fodder at this point, but they kept me busy. While I fought off these others, he managed to scarper away into a hidey hole and escape to a new area. Big deal, I thought, I'll chase him down. But I realized he wasn't appearing on my map. It turned out that in the tussle, the paintball ran out moments earlier, and I'd lost him. At this point, you can imagine my frustration. With 15 minutes on the clock, I frantically went from area to area, with little luck. When I finally found him, I knew I had to end it quick. He'd healed a bit, and was only barely limping, and I was already at deaths door. For the next 10 minutes STRAIGHT we duked it out, with him failing to land almost a SINGLE hit on me, until I ate a tail swipe, and got comboed by the fodder dudes. At about a literal 5% HP, I entered a kind of zen state. I knew exactly what I had to do to beat him, and I was almost certain I had the skill to do it. Most people call it "Flow", but it's basically a state of mind where you subconsciously know what you have to do, and just...do it.

With 3 minutes on the clock, I brought the greatsword down, and cut him to the ground. It was finally over. Without realizing it was 2am, I actually shouted "Yes!" and fistpumped. Adrenaline was running high, and I was indescribably accomplished with what I'd done. I can't wait to fight him again.

Dads Dungeon 
Chamber of Frozen Blades 
Sons of Mars 
Guardians of Sunshine 
Either one where we learn Simons past. 
 
FACT CHECK

XCOM is a nerve wracking game. I have had insane scenarios in which I have done nothing but overwatch for 3 turns with 5 of my squad, while I poke my one guy forward to try and find some LOS. Some nights I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, screaming "Argh Chrysalids". After playing for approximately 4 months ingame now...I finally decided to assault the alien base. Allow me to preface this with a brief overview of my current squad:

I am playing on Ironman Classic mode. So far, I have used the same 6 people for almost the entire game. In my barracks, I have 8 people, 6 of which are my first 6 guys, the other 2 are high level rewards from terror missions and such. I have named all my troops after my friends in real life to force myself to be surgically precise and fearful of the alien menace. 

When I left to assault the base, I had all laser weapons, and carapace armor. I was taking no risks in losing a single unit. With everyone at "Major" rank and above (I believe I had 2 Colonels"... I clicked the button, and began my descent into the base.  

 Almost IMMEDATELY I was set upon by 2 drones. Using 2 of my support guys, they cut through them with laser rifles with relative ease. No damage sustained thus far. An optimistic outlook for the start of the mission.

With my units in advantageous positions, we pushed forward into the base.

                                        
We were ambushed by 2 more drones. Fortunately, "Hellfire" Roberts made mincemeat out of them.

                                        

With a few small skirmishes here and there behind us, we kept pushing forward. With a combination of 3 overwatchers (Including my clutch sniper on the highground, completely controlling the battlefield with his heavy buddy) we made a massive push through the base, sweeping and clearing rooms with little to no damage.

                                       
With everyone prepped and ready to move, we push forward through the door to the north-east, and begin our assault on the main room. Note "Icepick" McGowan covering everyone from the south-west.

Pressing forward we found little to no resistance. Then...Nixon ran into a few minor issues.

                                       
So...he's pinned in a corner with 3 Chrysallids surrounding every angle. For those of you who have not yet experienced them, allow me to explain why they are so fearful. Chrysalids move insanely fast, and can completely dominate a squadron with incredibly brutal melee attacks. So the fact that he's surrounded by them is less than optimal. I knew I had to take them down before they took us down.

                                         

Moments later, the threat was neutralized.  McGowan featured heavily in this saving moment with double tapped sniper kills. Standard.

                                       

After our tumultuous victory, we pushed forward into the main control room, to be greeted by (Unfortunately not the MCP), but the most fortified room thus far. Regardless, we pushed forward with extreme prejudice. Securing the highest ground location, we were in an exceptionally fortunate and tactically advantageous position.

                                      
After clearing out the vast majority of the room, we were faced with the final alien, the psionic commandery type guy. I was eager to capture him alive, but realized that it was just TOO much of a risk, especially after I had come this far with no casualties, I could not risk the lives of my brave soldiers.

                                       

I had McGowan take the shot. He brought the pain.

                                     

Final tally: Mankind 22, Aliens 0

Hi everyone.

The blog post you may or may not be about to read is by no means to be read as an objective breakdown or analysis of the Final Fantasy series. I am merely attempting to document my own personal experiences with a videogame franchise that has meant a lot to me over the years. I suppose the first thing I should discuss is a little bit of backstory as to why I associate so closely to the franchise. Or at least, why I did.



Like many who grew up in the 90's, I had a strong association with videogames as a primary staple of my upbringing. When I was naught but a young lad, my old man brought home an NES one day with Super Mario Bros, and Mega Man 3. I was glued to that thing, for a good deal of time. As my life went on, I had a pretty strong allegiance towards Nintendo. Not out of some inane hatred for the Sega (For those of you who didn't grow up in the Sega vs Nintendo days, thank your lucky stars), but because I think the games of the Nintendo were not only more appealing to me, but...they were more mainstream, and easy to find information regarding.

Let me preface this by saying this was before the internet. Yes, this time did exist, there was once a time before commercial internet in the household. As I got into my teenage years, 56k became a staple of contemporary households, but I'm probably diverging to far, despite the fact it plays such an important part later on. 

So, the years went by, and games like Super Mario World, Chaos Engine, Buster Busts Loose and Street Fighter 2 were my bread and butter. I'd play them a lot. Well, probably not a lot in comparison to modern times. I was allowed to play videogames for 30 minutes a day. It kinda blew, but I got over it.



Now, when I was 13, my friend got this game called "Final Fantasy 7". I thought the idea of it sounded kinda fruity, at least up front. "So it's this game where you like, play as this dude, and you're exploring this world. There's great music, and like, it's just really good man, you gotta come and see it". This was the phone call I had with my buddy (Because at the time, the phone was how you got in touch with people. Or the playground), and it piqued my interest enough. I went over, and he had me play the first section. I was gobsmacked. How could I have not noticed something like this? Full 3D graphics on a CONSOLE? Massive amounts of text on screen, and engaging combat in a role playing game? I couldn't wrap my head around it. Bear in mind I was still playing things like Might and Magic 7 and Wizardry 8 on my home computer (800Mhz, 4mb ram, 2mb onboard graphics processor. The brand was TINY, if you still remember them?)



This was where it all began for me. What follows is a chronological analysis of each of the Final Fantasy games, in the order that I played them- The thoughts they evoked in me, and where I suppose the series just became unappealing to me.



Final Fantasy 7

You knew it would start here. How could it not? Like a lot of kids who  grew up in that era, Final Fantasy 7 was a landmark for me, in terms of how I came to view videogames as new media. I was still so used to arcadey style games that could be beaten, start to finish, in a few hours. My mind couldn't wrap around the idea that a game could span 3CDs (Wait, aren't they that thing that plays music somehow- This was still the era where tapes were standard) and last over 50 hours? I had to see this shit for myself. So, that was when it began. Every saturday, we would go over to his house, and from 1-3pm every week, we would play Final Fantasy 7. A few bits stick out to me more than any other I suppose.

-Materia Keeper


 

Is it weird to want to really show your appreciation towards friends for helping you in life? I went through an incredibly rough breakup lately, and I was having a real struggle just getting by. Everything felt like the end of the world, and I became incredibly depressed.

I've got a couple of friends (a literal couple) that live together across the side of the country. They invited me down for a week, and not only did they really look after me, and kept me distracted, but they've made an active attempt to really pick me back up since my breakdown, calling me every day on skype and letting me know that I shouldn't keep blaming myself for things.

I wrote a letter for them earlier today, just kind of outlining how I really appreciate their friendship, and how they really went out of their way to help me out, when they didn't have to. Should I send it, or is it too weird to do things like that? It's just that friendship means a lot to me, and I want them to know.

Hi.

I don't expect a lot of people to read this, but I think I need to get the words out of my head so I can get on with my day. If you do read, it, hey, thanks!

About a month ago, I got out of a long term relationship which meant a great deal to me. We were together for quite a long time, and I really thought that it was it. I thought she was the one that I'd spend my life with. We had a lot of incredible times together, and I was very sad to see it end. I didn't handle myself well in the breakup. I can't remember much of it, because my mind kinda blocked it out, but I know I was probably less than good. I think I begged her so stay. But I guess that's neither really here or there at the end of the day.

I've been in a pretty bad place, lately. I lost over a stone in weight when she left, I became incredibly depressed, and I found it hard to sleep. I couldn't make sense of anything that was going on, and everything just (and still kind of is) the same for me. Except it seems much quieter, much more subdued. I've found myself unable to find joy in the things I used to really dig, and it sucks. I have a bit of a dead end job with people I kinda resent, and I still live with my folks. I haven't found myself doing much with life, and it kinda hit me.

But that's not to say I will be like this forever. While I am very aware that I am lonely at the moment, and the world feels as though it could swallow me up, I'm not an idiot. I know I'll get over this. And I've found a few ways in which I think I can improve, and basically move on with life.

For the longest time, I've been unsure as to what I want to do in life. I thought I wanted to be a journalist, but the style I want to do is not only dying, it's an incredibly difficult medium to get into. The other things I've always been passionate about, however, is the English language, and the capacity to help others out. I wanted to be a teacher for a long time, and in many ways, I still really do. I wondered how I could combine these things together, and it kinda hit me a while ago. Everything kind of came together and I realised there's something I want to do more than anything.

So, I'm going to get qualified for TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) and teach overseas. It'll help me travel the world, which is something I've wanted to do for a long time. Now that my Ex is gone, I have nothing to stay around here for anymore. Not to imply that she was holding me back or anything like that, it's just that I don't really see the reason to stay around here anymore. My plan for the next few years is basically going to be:

-Save money at my job, while carrying on with my volunteer work at a primary school, being a classroom assistant.

-Find out the avenues of which I can get my TEFL certification.

-Apply to teach English in South Korea/Thailand/Japan/China/ ETC

-Get on with my life

It might seem like a radical decision, but I think it's something I need to do. If I stay here, I'm a 16 year old stuck in a 23 year olds body. I know if I stay here in this job, I'll hate myself, and resent a life I never went for. I need to force myself to grow up, and I think now is as good a time as any. I need to get over her by learning to accept myself again. Just gotta go one step at a time...

Thanks, if you read this. I won't post it publicly because I doubt people really care. You're all great!

I've had a lot of shit to do that I just find myself putting off. I suppose by making this list, and putting it public, it might encourage me to get through it!

To do:

Xbox 360-

Assassins Creed Brotherhood

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow

PS3-

Demons souls

Dark Souls (NG++)

Wii-

Zelda: Skyward sword

Xenoblade Chronicles

The Last Story (?)

3DS-

Tales of the Abyss

PS2-

Freedom Fighters

SMT: Digital Devil Saga

Space Channel 5

PSP-

Hexyz Force (?)

Disgaea (Maybe...)

Books-

American Gods

A Game of Thrones

20,000 Leagues Under The Sea

On Stranger Tides

1Q84 Trilogy

Anime-

Space Pirate Captain Harlock (1974)

The Big O

Kaiba

Monster

Outlaw Star

Sennou Chosashitsu

Texhnolyze

Great Teacher Onizuka

Haibane Renmei

Sword of the Stranger

Noein

Have the rest of you got any huge embarassing lists of entertainment that you need to finally get through? Let's talk!

I'm bad at picking up too many things at once. By making this list, I will hopefully be able to restrict myself to doing ONE THING at a time-

-Book: American Gods by Neil Gaiman - So far, I'm about 25% into the book, and it's pretty great. The dialogue is super sharp, and the world feels pretty well realised. I've not read it in about 3 weeks though. I get distracted easily. I've just got to the bit where all the "Gods" are supposed to meet, on the ferris wheel.

-Anime: Paranoia Agent : thus far, I'm up to episode 4, and it's banging as shit so far. It's hard to describe it with much more than "It's very Satoshi Kon like"

Wii game: Xenoblade Chronicles (?) - I suppose it's XB because Zelda controls like shit on WMP, and it's the only thing I've pretty into. I don't like it too much. The VA is TOO BRITISH, and the dialogue/story is kinda shitty.

PS3 Game: Dark Souls: I'm going for Platinum. Slowly slowly...

X360 Game: Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning - It's ok. The more time I let go by without playing it, the less inclined I am to going back. The quests are ok, but the dialogue/writing is so dense and uninteresting. I'll probably finish it.

3DS Game: Tales of the Abyss - I like it a lot, 5 hours in or so. Seems to have a good overarching plotline regarding war, and I like the LIMBS combat as usual.

PSP Game: Hexyz Force: Only playing this because it was the first game I loaded and stuck with. It's super JRPG like.

THE END

Hello everyone, if you're reading this.