I feel like I'm just losing my motivation. Even though I usually try to keep an upbeat attitude. I can't seem to really fix some issues going on in my life. At the sametime I don't really know what to do with my life. I remember way back when I was younger I had thoughts about going to college and becoming a firefighter or video game designer, but after some events that took place when I was a teen I fucked that chance up.
Ever since that stupid choice I made I've felt miserably. Nowadays, its gotten worse and worse to the point its effecting me. I've been slacking off with my workouts and gained some weight back, can't seem to stay focus on my job, and I don't seem to be good at expressing myself. Some people at my job thinks I'm too quiet and that I seem angry and not happy. Though I do try to lighten up I don't even know what to say alot of the times.
On top of that I had some friends that almost got me killed in the past, and friends that did some fucked up things to me. It can be hard for me to really trust people or want to get to know them. Anyway, I guess when I was hearing about how some of my co-workers was in college. I started wondering to myself ''If only I've made the rights choices when I was younger, I would have been in college by now working towards a career''
I feel like I've reached a weight plateau. Even though I went from 330 to like 200 pounds by myself. I can't really seem to break away my 200 pound mark. I've been at it for like two months now. My weight will go up and go back down. Then again it could be me just building muscle. I exercise everyday, then walk 3 miles to go to work, then at work I lift alot of stuff. As for eating I don't really eat too much. Now and then I might eat some unhealthy foods, but only because I'll be dead tired and just want to relax myself.
Anyway, I walked to a gym that's around my area called LA:Fitness. Its a nice size gym with alot of equipment and a pool. I talked to two guys that work at the place. They basically told me about the 99.00 start price to join and the personal trainers. One of the guys is a fitness instructor and asked me what I'm trying to accomplish. I told him that I'm trying to get lean, ripped and tone for this year. Then after that I want to focus on building muscle.
So he told me that he has a trainer that will help me reach that goal. He will give me more knowledge about nutrition and different workout methods. He also told me that he was a retired army vet, and since I told him I had study martial arts in the past he thinks this instructor will benefit me. So now I'm here thinking if I should go through with it or not. When it comes to working out I usually got it done by myself without anyone's help.
I'm thinking should I just keep doing what I've always done, or drop some money and have someone to help me.
So today I got hired in by the store company meijer. After I had 3 interviews and a background check done on me last week. They basically asked me questions and gave me the rundown on what to expect. Like dealing with customers in a friendly manner, what they expect from me on the job, dealing with racism from time to time (Since I'm African-American), avoid altercations even if I'm being attacked, and be a team player with the co-workers. This mourning I had to do orientation and setup my work schedule.
It went on for about 4 hours, and the guy talking to us gave more info about meijer. Stuff about how the store was founded and other things. When he was talking I just started getting nervous. Thinking about is this job going to workout for me, and will I be able to fix a mistake I did in the past. My mind just started getting clouded and my heart was racing, but then I thought I just got to go for it and see what happens. Anyway I got my I.D and work shirt, tomorrow I have to start training for my job position. Even though I'm still feeling kinda nervous.
Yesterday, I finally got my first job at the age of 21. It's a factory job where I have to make car parts, and do other random stuff in the building. I had to wear steel toe boots, work glasses, ear plugs and wear gloves. First thing I did was clean oil off of parts, then I had to use this machine to bolt up these door parts, stock em up, check and mark them, and repeat. I was running back and forth, pushing heavy crates, and making sure I did a good job.
Because my supervisor warned me if I fuck it up then I'm fired. Anyway I worked from 2:15 to 11:00 pm, afterwards my whole body was sore and I had cuts all over my arms. I was tired as shit and couldn't wait to get home. Once I got home I took a bath to get the oil off, got something to eat, then I went to bed. Now I'm getting prepared to go to work again today, and I'm wondering what they'll make me do next, but regardless it feels good that I got some income coming in.
I actually got the job from applying at a job center. As soon as I got done writing my application I was put to work. So now I'm just going to keep working and save up money, unless I get fired.
This question came to my mind after reading how Vegans can still build muscle. Which I thought was funny since you need alot of protein to build muscle, and meat is a great source to get protein. For bodybuilding I just don't see how eating strictly Vegetables can be very effective. Maybe if people drink alot of protein shakes with Vegetables it could be possible.
Even then I don't think a person would develop a nice foundation of solid muscle. I was told that you got to train hard, and eat meat so your body can repair the damage tissue. Eating strictly vegetables seems like it would make building muscle alot slower then needed.
Anyway what do you guy think about it? If there's something I don't understand then please inform me.
Its been a heated topic in the fitness community. Some dudes feel like you'll do more harm then good, and others feels like guys are being abunch of pussies for not going above and beyond. To me it comes down to an individual's preference. If you feel like you can push your body to its limits then go for it. Like me I do like pushing myself to see how far I can take my body, and alot of times it does workout for the better.
When I don't overtrain I feel like I can do more. I've said this before but I hate giving myself excuses. To me if you want a certain look you've got to earn it, and besides I won't feel satisfied until I look ripped. So I'm willing to go above my limits and I don't mind the pain. Within the upcoming months I'll take my body to the next level, and maybe I might do a transformation vid. Once I reached my fitness goal I'll think about it.
In the fitness community people has been getting upset about this. Apparently now obesity is considered a disease which I find stupid. A disease would be an illness that you can't help, and obesity would be from people's poor eating habits. It just doesn't have nothing in common and it's giving overweight people excuses. People can't just be naive of why they're overweight.
Complaining and making excuses doesn't make any progress. Losing weight is tough, but if left uncheck it will comeback to haunt you. On top of that trying to get sympathy from other people will only work for so long. Especially if your procrastinating and not even trying to lose weight.
Today I feel kinda bad at myself. I usually try to keep an up beat attitude, but I just got depressed and angry at my current situation. I was having a conversation with a lady I know at the gym. I was talking with her about some of my personal issues, and then she started to preach to me about having faith in god. She kept going on and on to the point I got irritated. I told her god never done anything for me and I don't believe he exists. Then she felt the need to say if I don't have faith in god, then he won't have faith in me and won't help fix my problems.
So I got abit upset and yelled at her, but then I calmed down and apologized afterwards. She was just trying to make me feel better and I took it the wrong way. Now I feel bad and I usually just workout to clear my head, but today I didn't feel like it. I almost felt the urge to smoke again, but I haven't smoked sense I was 18. I didn't want to kick back the old habit and fuck up my body. So I ended up just laying in the bathtub for hour, and even now I still feel like shit.
( I'm interested in seeing what GB members struggles with certain workouts, so feel free to give quick detail or just give a name.)
For me some of the workouts I struggle with the most are....
Squats - Now doing the squats with weights can be a desperate struggle, but the after effects is what bothers me the most. Feeling that snap back action in my legs can be bothersome. Especially when I'm using the bathroom, picking something up or moving in general. Feeling that intense pain can be an awful experience.
Running on the Treadmill - Trying to Keep up pace while I'd set the speed limit up to 40. Can give me that intense rush while I'm trying to catch my breath. Sometimes I try to expect more out of myself and run for 60 minutes, but in reality I can run about 35 or 40 minutes before my body gives out. My heart can only take so much stress.
Stair Master - Fuck this machine. After only 10 minutes I felt like my heart was going to explode. It feels like a robot is trying to force you to walk up the stairs, but in the end this machine ain't worth a heart attack.
Well I'll start off with a bet I've lost a few years ago that I regret. Anyone can give there own personal story, you can keep it short or give detail, but for me I'll give detail..
Basically my friends talked me into a bet to beat Final Fantasy VII. Now before the bet I talked alot of shit about the series. Sense they're both fans of Final Fantasy It pissed them off. So they decided to make a deal with me for shits and giggles. They told me I had two weeks to beat Final Fantasy VII, and if I lose I have to experience any consequence they had in store.
They knew I hated rpgs, but I told them if I win they will have to give me money. So the deal was on I've decided to play Final Fantasy VII, and within two days I gave up playing the game. I hated everything about the game, and I couldn't force myself to play it no more. I actually manage to shock my friends, they thought I would have giving up after three days not two. Apparently they both already talked about what my punishment will be, and they was excited to show me what it was.
One friend had me to watch all the episodes of a anime called Strawberry Marshmallow.
He knew I didn't care to watch anime much, but he thought it would be funny to watch an anime about little girls. So I watched a few hours of the show and I couldn't take it. It was awful and the shit was starting to give me a headache. So my friend decided to give me a break from that show, and let my other friend show me what he had as punishment. Unlike my first friend he was alot more sadistic, and I knew I had to expect the worse sense he likes to disturb me with random stuff, but nothing was going to prepare me for what I was about to see next.
My other friend decided to show me an anime called Boku no Pico. I thought it was going to be like Strawberry Marshmallow, but I was very wrong. The story was about this little boy who looks like a girl, that became friends with this lonely man, and something told me that this wasn't a normal anime. It wasn't until a ice cream scene that I realized I was watching a fucked up gay hentai. I got pissed-off at my friend for showing me this shit, and I didn't want to watch it anymore, but sense I made a bet I had no choice to keep my promise.
So I watched both of the shows, and the longer I watched the worse it got. After that I never made another bet with my friends again. My friends that it was hilarious to see my reaction to Boku no Pico. They was abunch of assholes for that shit.