I bet most of you who have seen this blog series have thought that I may have scrapped the entire thing. Especially since it's been almost nine months since the last proper entry. Well, I haven't given up on the series and it's time I show you by starting season two of...
Today's strange instalment details an exchange between users role-playing as characters from the 1990's Nickelodeon/Disney cartoon show Doug. If you were a person who grew up during the 90's watching TV every Saturday morning, the following exchange probably ruined your childhood.
The date is August 8th, 2008, not long after the Giant Bomb first exploded onto the videogame-review scene. A user named DougFunny (apparently forgetting how to spell his last name) created a thread entitled "I am looking for Roger Klotz". For those unfamiliar with this show, Roger Klotz is Doug's nemesis. Doug apparently has tracked down Roger to the still young Giant Bomb forums and demands to know his location: DougFunny said:
"I know you here buddy.... If you know where he his notify me. I'm gonna kick that motherfuckers balls so hard there going to pop"
Apparently his grammar has deteriorated drastically since we last saw him 11 years on our television screens. Unsurprisingly ( in retrospect), the first person to respond is the now infamous ItalyCanadian9. ItalyCanadian9 said:
"LMAO! You just made my day mate :)"
While it is understandable why Doug feels this way, this did not prepare the denizens of Giant Bomb for the appearance of Patti Mayonnaise (Doug's love interest). Patti said:
"Ooh Doug! I love these new balls of yours! Maybe we could... fuck like chihuahas in heat some time? "
People react in through confusion, recognition and indifference while ItalyCanadian9 in typical fashion encourages the situation. That went on until Roger Klotz suddenly showed up. Roger_Klotz said:
"Hey funny. How bout you and skeetface go play with each others balls while I show Patti my green monster."
This was followed with sarcastic surprise from forum-goers. The thread soon gets intense with sexually charged banter and insults being hurled around by the three active participants: ItalyCanadian9 said:
"Hey, you all shut the fuck up before Dougy dismembers your cats and CONSUMES YOUR SOULS."
Hey patti, do you and funny have some fun times with that hamster in your avatar?"
Hammy was lost up my ass long ago :-("
Can i have it?"
Only if you reach up there and Dougy is fine with it."
Ok ask him.
"Hey Roger shut up.... at least i get patti's pussy and you don't haha homo... Go suck mr. Bones dick"
Yeah what do you Know. The only time you get pussy is imagining it when your drawing your stupid qualman comics."
Patti happens to get extra sexual when I wear my quilman outfit... And what do you get? Dick HA! now thats funny
(Quailman is one of Doug's alter-egos)
Soon after more characters from the show up including Doug's friend Skeeter and his dog Porkchop. The five then detail with twitter-like frequency a showdown that took place at some burger joint. Apparently the end result of that was Roger getting defiled by a broomstick and Porkchop leaving to smoke weed. Before the thread got locked up, two more characters show up and add their inputs (one of which is apparently a pedophile).
What transpired that day was a surreal forum experience for many new Giant Bomb members (nearly everyone). However, it seems to be par for the course in the realm known as the internet. For Giant Bomb it was one of the first major occurrences of the forums. Perhaps it was signalling things to come. After all, Giant Bomb has become a very unique place. One apt forum user described the day's events as follows: pause422 said:
"What the fuck alternate dimension did I jump into when I clicked this thread lol"
If you have an interesting or notable event that occurred on these forums feel free to note them in a post.
One of my first PC games I remember playing was the 256 colour VGA remake of Sierra's Police Quest. Being the young child that I was, I almost immediately got game over by failing to sit down during a police briefing. I recently got back into playing all games in the police quest series. The games in the series were basically point and click adventures, but with a strict adherence to police procedure. The last proper Police Quest game was released in the early 90's. Going back and playing the games I often wonder if a police procedural adventure would transfer well into today's HD video gaming market.
Seeing the development of L.A. Noire I am struck by some similarities. You play a simple beat cop who rises to a higher position in the police department. This would always involve some major criminal plot. There are also the intricate details of police work; interviewing suspects, finding clues, examining your surroundings. I always thought that a new Police Quest game would be too boring for the average gamer to sit through. But with news of LA Noire coming out. I realize that this is the closest I'll ever get to an HD Police Quest game. Sure it looks to have a lot of action and shooting, but there is also the intricacies of good police work present. There are not many games out there that have you wearing the police uniform.
That said, I'm certain LA Noire won't be so strict in regards to following police procedure:
I'm sure a few of you may have wondered where I went for the past 2 months or so. No need to worry, I didn't go into self imposed exile or gave up on the site. The reason for my disappearance was when the site introduced the multipass login system, I apparently had trouble. To spare you the minutiae, I wasn't able to login until this morning.
I'm aware that I left many of you hanging, in regards to my series, "Notable and Interesting Events from the History of the Giant Bomb Community". I still have the intention of continuing the series. Unfortunately due to my login problems, this leaves me little time right now as it is midterm fever at the university. I promise as soon as that passes, I will get right on it. Right now, I hope to continue where I left off community-wise. I have a lot of ground to cover for sure.
I know many of you are awaiting the hotly anticipated next instalment of...
Notable and Interesting Events from the History of the Giant Bomb Community
Unfortunately, due to my upcoming examinations, the next instalment will be delayed by at least 2 weeks. I am also in the midst of acquainting myself to the university that I will be attending this fall. My apologies to all of you expecting my next entry in this series. However, fear not, good things come to those who wait. In the meantime, if you wish to submit suggestions for any future instalments, feel free to PM me.
Howdy folks! I'm sure many of you expected an instalment about the GB Civil War, unfortunately there was too much of that to handle at the moment, so instead I bring you a lesser known incident. So without further ado, it's time once again for another thrilling instalment of...
Notable and Interesting Events from the History of the Giant Bomb Community
The day is February 4th, 2010. The site had recently had an update in which one of the features was a new Facebook integration option. This new feature allows friends on Facebook to know what you're up to on Giant Bomb, if you allow it to do so. One notable forum user, Sweep posted a blog airing his views on this. He posts his opinion on the Facebook feature and ponders the separation between Giant Bomb and the real world. His own life is the example he uses to question why someone would think of linking Facebook to Giant Bomb. To him, Giant Bomb is his own personal domain where he can geek out. He wouldn't want any of his real life friends, family, colleagues to know about any random postings at 2am in the morning. He concludes by saying how ironic it is that it would be easier for people on Facebook to find his blog posting than people on Giant Bomb unless it were attached to the forums.
The blog seemed to have been misconstrued as a blog bashing the new Facebook connectivity feature. Some users have told him to ignore it, while others discuss the use of Facebook connectivity. All appeared well until Dave Snider came in to read the blog. Unless you haven't already figured it out, Dave is a staff member responsible for the design, technical details and engineering of the site. So he was involved in all site updates. Apparently he perceived this blog post as a challenge to his manhood, and he launches into a tirade ranging from the integrity of the website, to pressures from advertisers. It was quite a surprise for those users that saw it.
" Show me one place on Giant Bomb where we force your content onto Facebook? Show me one place where we don't ask you to click a button to push your content somewhere. Find the place where Giant Bomb spams you. Find the preference that sends you tons of email as a new user without your permission.
Reality: Facebook is huge. It's the largest site in the world. We can't avoid it. It's just there and people use it everyday. There are many ways this integration could have gone down. We could have forced every comment/post/review you made to automatically push to facebook and twitter. We could have been THAT company. We didn't. We did the best we could. We made it no more than 25 pixels in height and asked you if you wanted to share your content with others instead of just doing it without your permission. We asked you to not only push one button, but push many other buttons after that to make sure you were OK with it. We did this because we hate when other websites force that decision on us.
Facebook is what it is. You having to see a very small blue button on your page is not the end of the world. This is beyond reactionary. It's just silly. Will we eventually add a preference to turn them off? Yeah, probably, when we're done capitulating to the dozens of other bugs we deal with on a daily basis. When have we not caved into user concern over this kind of stuff? When has Giant Bomb not been the site that doesn't take ethical user procedures to heart? When have we not been clean with our audience about our intentions? We have fucking preferences to turn off god damned editorial off from OUR OWN message board, how does that even make sense? That's why you are here, because we're not fucking IGN. But to simply assume in so calice a tone that we're evil for giving people the option to share their interests with their friends is just wrong.
Seriously. Show me one place on this site where we don't expressly ask your permission for something. Show me one place where the action you took requires an extra click of bullshit to get through. It doesn't exist. I know because I designed every part of it. And it was designed with a purpose. To be the best mother-fucking best gaming website in the world. We're either that or we're some evil monopoly forcing ad, Twitter, Email and Facebook spam on you without your permission.
This is the most ethical site on the Internet of its size. From its Editorial team to its Engineering team. Sweep. Love you tons, followed your stuff and you've been an amazing contributor to the site over the years. But you're just wrong here. We've done nothing to your experience but add a couple avoidable small footprint buttons to the site. You're over-reacting. You're causing a fuss.
As for your community rants over the past couple weeks. Giant Bomb is no different than the rest of the Internet. If you want to have your shit seen, you need to market yourself. We provide the best tools we can to allow you to create your content, but it's up to you to make sure that content is viewed. That is not our responsibility. I didn't sit on GeoCities for years trying to plug my Xwing VS TIE Fighter site, I went outside to other sites to try and get my stuff seen. There's really only so much we can do. Show me a large editorial site that does it better and I'll do my best to imitate it. Fuck man. Show me one site that even allows your blog to be broadcast outside of a profile page!
You've got plenty of options when it comes to gaming sites. Gamespot, 1up, IGN and the like. When it comes to community, I know we're better. So do you. You want a site that focuses on the community over the editorial? Go to any of our game pages. You'll see small summaries of editorial comment and large sections of community content. That was and is still fucking risky for us. We get shit about it every day from advertisers. Show me one other editorial game site (scratch that, editorial site in general) where you can search for a topic and see the editorial content as the minority of the page layout. I'm not talking wikipedia, this site has professional, best of breed reviewers. We're literally gagging them on game pages to push user content forward. It's insane. We shouldn't be doing it. But we realize our content gets stale and only a thriving community of fans can keep game pages fresh.
As for everyone who doesn't want their "friends" to know about their life on Giant Bomb... you have two options. Find better friends who accept you as you are or don't click the small ass buttons that pop up. It's a pretty easy decision. But don't blame Giant Bomb because you're trying to hide your passions from your friends. Do not be afraid of who you are.
Gaming is fucking cool. Don't be ashamed. IceWind Dale II love needs to be spread! "
I think every felt the passion that Dave put in his typing. Although misdirected, as the point of his blog was to ask the question "How many people will use this feature and why?" This might not have been clear from the beginning, but knowing Sweep he had no malicious intent. Snide and Sweep are cool now, no grudges. This blog came at a time where community content was being pushed for recognition (Giant Bomb Civil War). So no doubt it was a trying time for everyone.
You can read the blog post here. Dave's post is on the third page with comments going first to last.
Looking back, do any of you use the Facebook/Giant Bomb connectivity? Have you seen a staff member react so intensely to a thread before?
For those wondering, my next instalment will be coinciding with E3. Think of what happened during an E3 in the community and you'll know what I'll be covering (Pending approval with the mods). Beyond that, a few suggestions would be very helpful.
It was June 21st, 2009 when one user's final blog post left a legacy, but will this legacy be one recognizing his major contributions, or one of a melodramatic farewell?
My name is Endogène,
I'm the 6th most important contributor to GiantBomb.com out of a total of 42985 members with a total of 57329 points that i got on 3523 different pages. I joined the site July 21, 2008, the day the site was launched. Including this final blog post i will have posted 3858 comments on the site. I am in the top 10 poster rank of both the "delete and combine" forum and the "editing and tools" forum. After I was chosen to become a moderator I moderated over 6000 submissions and posted 232 times in the "moderation hangout" placing 3rd on the top poster list. Today i turn my back to this all.
His name isEndogène
A user of many qualities; knowledgeable, witty, inexplicably random at times. Endogene was a Giant Bomb regular that undoubtedly had an immense passion for the site, most of his attention focused on the site's Wiki. He is not quite the 6th most important Wiki contributor this site has anymore, but he is still up there as one of the Wiki's main contributor at 12th place. Notable for his defence of NAKED CARTOON PUSSY, he laid the precedence for allowing all games in the eroge or H-game category in the site. But not only that, he was outspoken and strongly defended his views. It was a no-brainer that he became a Wiki-mod. Even in reviewing submissions, he scrutinized every user's contribution. Ensuring the info was original and accurate. Apparently this was all for nought as he came to a realization.
His name isEndogène
He had concluded that the site's Wiki, the main feature of the site as advertised, was neglected by the founders and staff. Whilst responding to users' submissions, he had found that the reply button in the submission queue for mods was broken since launch. Devoting as much time as he did, he felt that with the giant influx of new content on site, including the ongoing Persona 4 Endurance Run and linking achievements to your profile, the staff have ignored the key component of the site. Witnessing many suggestions from users concerning improvement of the Wiki; experiencing and trying to rectify a Wiki issue; and seeing no response from the staff, he decided to tender his resignation. He sees this as an example of the staff ignoring the Giant Bomb community.
" Do the founders live in a tower so high above ground that they do only see clouds under them and not those below struggling? "
His name is Endogène
Unfortunately, his final blog may be most remembered for his melodramatic style of including a detailed backstory, interspersed with exclamations of what his name is. In the unfortunate event that the reader forgot what his name was, Endogene would remind them. Pride and self-appraisal abounds as he listed what he thought had gone wrong with the site. His point would have undoubtedly been made clearer if the reader weren't confronted with the statement of Endogene's name after every paragraph. Of course, to end it all, he posts a symbolic poem. All before reminding everyone one last time with an exclamation that his name was Endogene.
" I didn't read any of that because its a fucking wall of text but one thing i do gather: his name is apparently endogene."
His name is Endogène
Considering how much the site has changed in nearly a year, would you think that Endogene would come back to the site in its current state? Do you agree with his assertions concerning the staff and Wiki? What would he make of all these new features notably; the Wiki Tasks and Quest System? How did you react to Endogene's departure and farewell? How would he be received if he were to return? All things considered, he was a hardworking contributor with nothing but love for this site. But people will remember one thing and one thing only...
The month of May is upon us and that means it time for preparations for the month-long Indianapolis 500. This year's event is looking to be very promising. So many different storylines to follow and it looks possible that it could be anyone's race. The Indy 500 is considered one of the three most prestigious events in auto racing. (Although, I think it has waned in past years, see my blog series entitled "The Sad State of Motorsports in America").
This year, as many as 5 women will have the chance of qualifying for the historic race. They are Danica Patrick, Sarah Fisher, Ana Beatriz, Simona De Silvestro and Milka Duno (unlikely). Paul Tracy will return again to try and claim his first Indy 500 win after the controversial 2002 race and he has been training the past several months in preparation. Helio Castroneves has the chance to become one of the few 4 time winners of the race. But, he has to hold off his Penske teammates, Ryan Briscoe and Will Power, as well as the Ganassi duo of Franchitti and Dixon. Qualifying starts in two weeks time and the race will be on Memorial Day weekend on the 30th. Of course I'm not expecting a 1992 race, but it should be entertaining nonetheless.
Who do you guys think will be winners? Personally I think it will be like this: Most Likely Winner: Any Penske or Ganassi driver. Who I would like to win: Paul Tracy Darkhorse winner: Alex Tagliani
For those of you wondering what the title of this blog is referencing, it actually came from a former mod named BoG in the thread of which this episode will recall.
"Business as usual, people, and if this is brought up anymore (and is unnecessary) then the mods will take action."
As this event was one of many that defined the GB community over the years, I hope that the current class of mods will allow me to take the initiative to chronicle this notably humorous event in our history. So, due to popular demand, I shall begin the tale of deception, treachery and innocence.
It began one day a long time ago in the August of the year 2008. An innocent enough thread appeared on the boards entitled "Your favorite Giant Bomber (?)". Who could predict the can o' worms that it would open. The first response to this thread was "That hot crazy christian girl maybe". For the youngsters out there, that poster was, of course, referring to ItalyCanadian9. A little background on "her" if I may, ItalyCanadian9 was a popular user who was notable for pictures of herself that attracted several compliments. She also appeared to be a die-hard Christian often proclaiming her love for Jesus, Christianity and church.
Back to thread, it would appear from the beginning that the topic will deflect to something else. Take a wild guess at what it is.
"That hot crazy christian girl maybe."
ahahah I know the one your talking about but I have my suspicions that she isnt actually a hot Christian, just some fat nerd who is tricking everyone else. I find it hard to believe that someone hot is really into video games, I thought that people like that only existed in nerds fantasies.
A few users tried to stay on topic, but after ItalyCanadian9 posted in the topic, the doubtful masses posed the possibility that *gasp* maybe its actually a guy. So good ole MB decided to deliver an ultimatum after ItalyCanadian9 ignored or deflected accusations. She never once said definitely "I am a girl." Even though she said "Thanks" after the first response in the thread.
Italycanadian9, not that you need to prove anything to anyone, but since you're so photogenic, you could snap a pic holding a handwritten sign with your username and Giant Bomb on it. That would shut everyone up permanently.
Of course it would. Too bad that it would never happen.
"Or it would begin a torrent of friend requests and borderline-harassment comments that would probably be even worse than people doubting your gender."
Doesn't matter...such a pic will never be taken. I'm sure you can guess why."
More truth. If s/he doesn't do this, it is practically confirmation that Italy is a dude. As MB said, considering how photogenic Italy is.
ItalyCanadian9 completely ignored this request. A shock considering how she enjoys putting pictures of herself up on site. And then one Internet sleuth dug up information which further casts suspicion.
"Wow! Everyone is questioning me. What has the world come to? I guess Girls are not real. Only males are."
Well considering the pictures in your avatar arn't even you and they're a famous youtubber, there's some unanswered questions http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wxvws_rpnAg
For some illogical reason ItalyCanadian9 responds to this by simply saying "Good". People demand "she" admit wrongdoing, but "she" plays dumb. Following this "she" says "Who says i was the girl in my pic anyways?". This argument is as normal as any other except for the fact that when people complemented the pics, ItalyCanadian9 would always respond "Thanks" or "Aww u r sweet", not once correcting anyone otherwise. "She" then claims that in a PM she told some users that the pictures actually weren't of her. After none of these alleged users showed up, the unappeased masses brought her to task on her responses to complements.
"That hot crazy christian girl maybe."
That." <---- (Editors note: User was citing an example)
He assumed i was a girl."
Confirmed. It's a guy. For awhile I wanted to believe that it was actually a girl and it just wasn't her in the pics.
Oh the irony, one of the people that brought ItalyCanadian9 to task the most said this at the beginning:
Flattery will get you nowhere...at least not until you turn 18, anyway."
MB must feel dirty for saying this.
Well, after the discovery was made, ItalyCanadian9 tried to play it off. But the thread will continue another 15+ pages from that point. Normally, the mods would be all over this and lock it. But, we were all young back then and had a little fun.
"GOD! Can't this topic just be locked...
No way, this is getting good."
Lmao i love gb moderators :D
Shortly after, ItalyCanadian9 left Giant Bomb and never came back. If you look it up on the user database, ItalyCanadian9 is listed as a male. Irony? The thread is right here, grab a bowl of popcorn and prepare yourself for an interesting show.
So that ends my long-winded instalment. Do you remember this happening? Some of you must have, (one user became a mod). Suggestions on what event I shall chronicle next?
The recent reactions to a thread asking whether there are any girls on Giant Bomb have made me recall a time last year when a new user made a forum posted blog entry (I know a weird tangent). The day was Sept. 22nd 2009, and it began as any other day on the forums, until one Ms_Chivios posted a blog entitled " Modeling Gig Tomorrow!!!!", barring grievous spelling errors, this blog was out of the ordinary. It also brought into wide contact an element almost unheard of in the GB community, females. The blog proclaimed that Ms_Chivios or "Erin", as she called herself, was going to have a modelling gig the next day and promised to share the pictures. She noted that it would be a "fairly provocative shoot". The first few posts were okay, most were wishing "Erin" luck on the gig. But a few foreboding posts foreshadowed what was to come.
@Ms_Chivios: Hahaha, This thread is win,
Best of luck, to you, But i would reconsider putting risque shots up, But that's just my opinion,
Just one thing you are awfully new to the site, You have embraced it fast eh? Hope it all goes well :)
This was followed with this response:
@Red12b: This is going to be my ultimate test for if I stay here. IF the perverted comments make me laugh, then I am going to stay. :D
The blog soon was filled with interested forum dwellers looking to see what's up, and I think that blog began it's downward spiral with this post on page 4.
" I've got my lube and tissues ready! "
Aaaaand we're done. Clear out everyone. Thread's over.
But, the thread wasn't over, the ravenous masses demanded to see the photos and the thread devolved into a thread of creepy comments, doubts of the OP's true gender, a race to 4 pages of posts (ended with 32 pages) and doubts about the OP's motives as illustrated by one forum regular:
" @Shazam: How am I personally giving you a bad name? This is the kind of person that I am. Something amazing happens, and I want to share it with people. Call it a personality flaw if you must, but do not attack my personality. If it offends you that much, then put it in a nice little PM and we can discuss it as the mature adults that we are. You are making it seem like I am attacking you personally. How am I doing that? "
Haha, quit with the lil Ms innocent act, Ms Chevios :). Your ultimately saying your open minded and happy enough to share provocative images of your body withguys you don't know, on a videogame forum. It has taken you a measly two posts on this forum to make you confident in doing so, lol.
You do so with no prior knowledge of what long standing female members of this forum have had to endure consistently. Your attempts at getting a cheap, fiddle, (enjoy those PM's lol) have done them no favours at all, for it is they the will face the brunt of your actions, not you with your laxity and open mind.
Anyway, hurry up and post those pics will you, this thread is getting even duller.
One observant user noted:
My god, what happened to this thread, it went from100 posts to 600, overnight.
The blog/thread was closed with a grand total of 16,131 views and 630 posts in under 3 days. You'd think that was the end of that, until Ms_Chivios posted the photos in a new blog entitled " Pictures from my Photoshoot" two days later. She showed those that doubted her gender and appeared to have the last laugh. Again, the first few posts were okay, some offering their constructive criticisms and opinions. And people were starting to warm up to her. But somewhere along the line things got out of hand and I'm assuming posts got deleted because of reactions to those supposed comments. The OP took the the photos down and replaced the first post with a message to the dark side of the GB community. The user has since never returned, and a shadow was cast over the GB community. Her lasting legacy will be the picture she left us on her profile page, again a message to the bad elements of the GB community. The event was summed up by one poster:
I don't seem to understand why everyone's being a huge dick to her. Nobody invited anyone to come into this thread, no, this is actually one of her blog posts.
Actually, no, fuck it. What kind of demographic am I even talking to, here? It's probably not worth the effort.
Has the community improved since then? Are still susceptible to scaring away new users who want to express themselves? Why is the occurrence of "girl-gamers" met with such reactions? I guess it must be because of that "ItalyCanadian9" incident. (Should I chronicle that for the next instalment?) What are your thoughts on what transpired that week?
The reactions to the lateness of DP ER BR-10 has reminded me of a time a year ago when the Persona 4 Endurance Run hit Episode 50 ("Yo fiddy, hit that big ass persona!"). The episode did not show up after a massive hype buildup caused by the P4 players on the forums and comments. It was learned that the Episode 50 video file was corrupted and potentially lost forever. The Giant Bomb community erupted in an unprecedented mass panic. The Behind the Scenes of Ep. 50 video tided some of us over, but the comments on that video displayed the mass hysteria that was going on. Some thought that it was the end of the P4 Endurance Run. Eventually, sometime later, Giant Bomb salvaged the episode using an expensive program that they bought online. All was well with the world. In the end the comments in the Behind the Scenes were too many too count, and they were deleted or reseted back to zero (there is eight at the time of this writing). Thus, was another Interesting Event in the History of the Giant Bomb community.
Do you guys remember this day? Where were you when this happened? What was your reaction?