Now, I'm not saying they don't read anything. Of course they do. They skim the first sentence, the second sentence, maybe the next paragraph's first sentence, maybe the very last few words, or maybe they just read the whole post up and down and see if they spot any clever phrases or interesting terms. What they definitely don't do, though, is sit there and read--word-after-word--the entire post.

   

But what about the good posts? What about the users that we know to be funny or prone to writing interesting articles? Why do we usually not read those, either? Because this is a video game site, for one. We have the worst attention spans of every single demographic, excepting 4 year-olds and speed freaks. We come here for a couple new videos, some game news, and to see flashy pictures of the upcoming games that make us moisten our seats. We need quick clumps of interesting data that we can consume and satisfy our lust with. We don't want to see anything that isn't a short list of annotated pictures or newly-released game footage with a half-paragraph of text next to it.

So at this point, you've established a hate for me--I get that--and you're likely wondering what my answer to this dilemma is, if I'm so clever and all-knowing. What the hell could my amazing solution be that you should all take heed of? Well, it's simple. Your paragraphs need to have content, they need to be at least mostly grammatically correct, and they need pictures: nice lively pictures, all over the fucking place.

Well, that last one isn't necessary, but it will usually help out a ton. There's actually one more, and it's both the most important and the easiest to implement. Something that's only reason for not being a mainstay on this site I can only guess boils down to the community's all-too-apparent fear of taking even a small staple from sites like 4chan: make a tl;dr (too long; didn't read). You can use mine for an example.

tl;dr: You guys aren't too great at getting people to read your blogs. Use tl;drs more often. Try harder.