Paula! Where are you?!?!! Unfortunately, no where to be found. I wandered around Fourside a bit looking for her, but she was gone. I headed back to the little café, only to hear a commotion outside. Mr. Everdred was lying there on the ground. DEAD! No, he wasn’t actually dead, but he was a good faker. Anyways, he told me to check the back of the café’s counter. So, I walked inside and started checking the walls… what… the… ??? All of a sudden, everything went all acid-trippy, and I was transported to Moonside.

Moonside seems to me like a broken NES town, or perhaps a partially done developer’s view. The city of Fourside was there, in theory, but everything was black and bright neon with invisible walls in almost random places. The only sort-of consistent thing was the strange enemies wandering about. Demonic fire hydrants, gas pumps and Dali’s clock paintings decided to attack me in this weird world. I made my way from broken NPC to broken teleport area until I made my way to the Mani Mani statue at the center of town. After a Big-Bottle Rocket or two, I finally escaped the nightmare of Moonside. To its credit, the whole sequence had my eyes fully open in a stare and my eyebrows doing that one up one down strange look thing, and I had a huge sense of unrest driving to escape this crazy world. And, I believe that’s exactly what was intended. Nicely done, Earthbound.

As I woke up in a stupor in the back of Jackie’s café, I realized the need to get away from that crazy place as soon as possible. I walked out the door and got a call from the Apple kid, at it again. He came up with another invention - the trout yogurt machine and said he’s sending it to me, however it will be coming “Neglected Class.” In hilarious fashion, the delivery person showed up immediately but lost the machine in the desert. Immediately following that, a young girl who needed to make Trout-flavored yogurt for Mr. Monotoli showed up just to make sure I knew what my next objective was. Oh, Earthbound, how funny are you!