5 reasons Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon is the best N64 gamever

(Prolouge: I ran out of letters in the title so I made a portmanteau) .
(Prolouge part 2: I'm drunk, but I can still be cohearent while I'm drunk, for fucks sake I just used the word portmanteau.).
 
 

Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon is the best video game for the N64 that you never played.

 

You never played this and you're a bad person because you never played this.
And the following list is of 5 reasons that support my point.
 
1) It's Zelda. No seriously, it's pretty much Ocarina of Time. It's a large open world connected by dungeons. In these dungeons you have to find silver (small) keys and eventually get the gold (master) key to fight a boss. There are items that give you a map and show you where the boss is on that map. There are lucky cats, and if you get four lucky cats you get an additional heart. The gameplay is different (you can jump and switch between four different dudes) but still fun with all the OoT trimmings.
 
2) It's funny. The game has a lot of obscure, Japanese humor that I don't get. But you might. But it also has a lot of humor that is universal, like some occasional fourth-wall stuff (characters asking the narrator what to do) and even the plot is bizzare and funny. You have to stop a theatre troupe from outer space from turning Japan into a giant stage for a play for them to perform on. Also lots of references, like this one. 
 
Gok - err Goemon using Sudden Impact!

3) It oozes personality. If the plot doesn't strike you ass crazy-ass-Japanese enough, then other stuff in this game will. Maybe it's because I have the biggest gamer-boner for Suda 51, but I love games with personality more than anything, and this game has it in spades. Your party is a rejected ninja, a creepy, lecherous pig-man, a kids toy robot, and a sexy ninja lady. 
 
4) Giant Robot Battles. This happens about an hour in the game without any context. Because fuck context.
  
 
                                                                              (Don't worry, the game isn't Japanese only, this is simply the best version of the video.) 

5) It still holds up today. It's a platforming beat-em-up Zelda hybrid. If you don't care that a game looks kinda shitty, you can still play it today. I played it and beat it just yesterday, and I still had fun with it. Give it a chance, or I won't be your friend.  
42 Comments
42 Comments
Posted by GlenTennis

(Prolouge: I ran out of letters in the title so I made a portmanteau) .
(Prolouge part 2: I'm drunk, but I can still be cohearent while I'm drunk, for fucks sake I just used the word portmanteau.).
 
 

Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon is the best video game for the N64 that you never played.

 

You never played this and you're a bad person because you never played this.
And the following list is of 5 reasons that support my point.
 
1) It's Zelda. No seriously, it's pretty much Ocarina of Time. It's a large open world connected by dungeons. In these dungeons you have to find silver (small) keys and eventually get the gold (master) key to fight a boss. There are items that give you a map and show you where the boss is on that map. There are lucky cats, and if you get four lucky cats you get an additional heart. The gameplay is different (you can jump and switch between four different dudes) but still fun with all the OoT trimmings.
 
2) It's funny. The game has a lot of obscure, Japanese humor that I don't get. But you might. But it also has a lot of humor that is universal, like some occasional fourth-wall stuff (characters asking the narrator what to do) and even the plot is bizzare and funny. You have to stop a theatre troupe from outer space from turning Japan into a giant stage for a play for them to perform on. Also lots of references, like this one. 
 
Gok - err Goemon using Sudden Impact!

3) It oozes personality. If the plot doesn't strike you ass crazy-ass-Japanese enough, then other stuff in this game will. Maybe it's because I have the biggest gamer-boner for Suda 51, but I love games with personality more than anything, and this game has it in spades. Your party is a rejected ninja, a creepy, lecherous pig-man, a kids toy robot, and a sexy ninja lady. 
 
4) Giant Robot Battles. This happens about an hour in the game without any context. Because fuck context.
  
 
                                                                              (Don't worry, the game isn't Japanese only, this is simply the best version of the video.) 

5) It still holds up today. It's a platforming beat-em-up Zelda hybrid. If you don't care that a game looks kinda shitty, you can still play it today. I played it and beat it just yesterday, and I still had fun with it. Give it a chance, or I won't be your friend.  
Posted by FlyingRat

Is that a laugh track i hear 15 seconds in or so...?
 
Also i have always thought that this game looked interesting. Never played it though. Maybe someday.

Posted by GlenTennis
@FlyingRat said:
" Is that a laugh track i hear 15 seconds in or so...?  Also i have always thought that this game looked interesting. Never played it though. Maybe someday. "
It'd be great it it was on Virtual Console. Also yes, when the villains are speaking it's like a really shitty sitcom with laughtrack and all.
Posted by ssj4raditz

Well, I think reason #4 is enough to get me to try and track this thing down.

Posted by Spoonman671

I thought I was coming into this thread to argue with you, but I simply cannot argue on any of those points.  You are correct, sir.

Posted by Video_Game_King

What about Conker's Bad Fur Day? I'm sure that that game could kick this game's ass.

Posted by Hourai

This game weirded me out when I was a kid. I never got very far but I used to play it a lot. 

Posted by GlenTennis
@Video_Game_King said:
" What about Conker's Bad Fur Day? I'm sure that that game could kick this game's ass. "
@Video_Game_King said:
" What about Conker's Bad Fur Day? I'm sure that that game could kick this game's ass. "
If fighting giant pieces of poop is your thing man, then go for it.
Posted by Akrid

Fuck yes! I love this game!

Posted by Khann

I don't disagree.

Edited by captainanderson

     You forgot to mention it has one of the greatest soundtracks in video game history.   LISTEN TO THIS SHIT.   


Posted by FlyingRat
@GlenTennis said:
If fighting giant pieces of poop is your thing man, then go for it. "
That's "opera singing" giant pieces of poop, thank you very much.
Posted by buzz_clik

I love that game, and still have my cart ever ready for the day I need to pop it back in. The sequel, however, was a much more playable effort and of the two I return to it more often. That said, though, the follow up lacks the bizarre charm of the first N64 outing; Mystical Ninja makes me all warm and fuzzy in a way no other game can.
 
Oh, and the first SNES game is still aces, too!

Moderator
Posted by GlenTennis
@buzz_clik said:

" I love that game, and still have my cart ever ready for the day I need to pop it back in. The sequel, however, was a much more playable effort and of the two I return to it more often. That said, though, the follow up lacks the bizarre charm of the first N64 outing; Mystical Ninja makes me all warm and fuzzy in a way no other game can. Oh, and the first SNES game is still aces, too! "

Yeah, the side-scrolliness of the second one played better. I should go back, since I never ended up beating it.
 
@captainanderson said:

"      You forgot to mention it has one of the greatest soundtracks in video game history.   LISTEN TO THIS SHIT. "


Yeah, I loved the main theme too. Totally felt like it belonged on a tv show.
  
Posted by SMTDante89

My friend actually owned a copy of this.  I always wanted to play it when I went over to his house when I was a kid (and at the time without a Nintendo 64)

Posted by FancySoapsMan

FUCK NOW I WANT TO PLAY IT

Posted by Lifestrike
PURASUMA!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by GlenTennis
@FancySoapsMan said:
" FUCK NOW I WANT TO PLAY IT "

Posted by Vinny_Says
@GlenTennis: I remember renting this from blockbuster. What a waste of money.....
Posted by GlenTennis
@blacklabeldomm: Exactly. Paying $5 for a week instead of buying it for $50 for the rest of your life!
Posted by geirr

Did someone mention the soundtrack? It's amazing!

Posted by LordXavierBritish
@GlenTennis said:

Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon is the best video game for the N64 that you never played.

Posted by GlenTennis
@LordXavierBritish: Owned =/= played. Also
 

Posted by WJist

I need a controller pack so I can play this game and save :(

Posted by bartok

Wasn't there some sort of fuss about the game having Swastikas in it ?

Posted by GlenTennis
@bartok said:
" Wasn't there some sort of fuss about the game having Swastikas in it ? "
Never heard that. Wouldn't sprise me. Or would it? I don't know I'm drunker than I should be.
Posted by Centimani

All of these things are true. I miss this game so much.

Posted by ZombiePie

Oh yeah I liked Goemon, but I also remember that game having a fairly wonky difficulty curve. The first level was harder than the second and the sidequests being kind of crazy..

Moderator
Posted by GlenTennis
@ZombiePie said:
"

Oh yeah I liked Goemon, but I also remember that game having a fairly wonky difficulty curve. The first level was harder than the second and the sidequests being kind of crazy..

"
Yeah the gaem was fucked up in a lot of palces like right behind the last boss there was a man that sold you a cucumber but it cost like 800 coins which toook me an hour to collect off random farming of bad guys
Posted by FunExplosions
@GlenTennis: Please tell me that song is the same in the English version.
Posted by GlenTennis
@FunExplosions said:
" @GlenTennis: Please tell me that song is the same in the English version. "
Yeps. Just with english dubtitles.
Posted by TheGreatGuero

I did play this game. It's totally awesome.   

 
The game's intro always stuck with me. It's just great. The song is actually super catchy.
Posted by TaliciaDragonsong

Its fucking amazing.
I want this remade! It deserves too!

Posted by DeF

I've always wanted this back in the days.
 
I made a good effort by downloading the SNES game on VC ....aah I remember reading about Goemon64 in magazines without any money to buy games as I pleased :(

Posted by Daveyo520

This game confused the hell out of me when I tried to play it back in the day.

Posted by Oni

I played this so I'm a good person! This game is fucking rad, awesome soundtrack too. So much weird shit in this game. Gourmet Submarine dungeon? Sure!

Edited by ryanwho

Its not Zelda and the platforming isn't good. Its one of many very goofy platformers for the console. You could make a better case for Glover. You could make a case for Goemon 2 being the best sidescroller for the console, better than Mischief Makers. I could get behind that.

Posted by GlenTennis
@ryanwho: 
Oh but you really can't 
http://www.gameinformer.com/b/news/archive/2010/12/25/replay-glover.aspx
Posted by CandleJakk

I own this. I need to play it. It's 200 miles from me. Fuck.

Posted by GlenTennis
@pepsimaxofborg said:

" Did someone mention the soundtrack? It's amazing! "

Like the Game Over screen?
 
  
Posted by GreggD

I totally bought Mr. Goemon on Game Room. Does that cou-no, I suppose it doesn't.

Posted by JJOR64

Dude, they should totally remake this for 3DS.  GIANT ROBOT BATTLES IN 3D OMG APPLE SAUCE