For as much as I feel bad for the guy, does there need to be a fund for him? He is gainfully employed, and can clearly afford a lot of consoles, games, and has for a while now. Do people have no other place to put their money? No better causes?
@athadam: oh, I'm fully aware that it's not an easy job to acquire and I'd be foolish to only give that specific occupation consideration. I'm looking into PR positions, law school, masters degrees and so on. While the video game job would obviously be a dream job that I'm going to try and do, that does not stop me from being pragmatic and always having alternative plans.
So, to begin: I have been in college since last September, and am now finally here in time for Summer break. Before I left for college, my interest in the site had never been higher; I was buying t-shirts, actively participating in forum discussions and so on. The death of Ryan Davis crushed me, but it never touched my love for games or the business or anything in relation to the site. Hell, I have been studying English in college in the hopes that I may one day be able to write reviews for video games as it has been something that I've loved and have been doing since I was thirteen-years-old (they were TERRIBLE, but you get my point).
However, I have changed as a person since going to college. I've experienced worlds that were completely foreign to me, made friends who I would have never expected to be friends with and done more than my fair share of dumb college shit. In the first semester, I was a douchebag and lost myself for a bit. As someone who went to an all-boys high school, I was somewhat sheltered for a long time, but going to college gave me freedoms that blew my mind. I could go out and drink, hook-up with girls ("GIRLS AT SCHOOL?!?! NO FUCKING WAY"-me, September 2013), and generally do irresponsible things. I fell in with the party crowd and did things I never thought I'd do. As a result, my schoolwork fell behind and while I didn't do horribly, and finished out the semester with a B- grade point average after getting my shit together at the last minute to make sure I didn't fail any of my classes, I still felt bad about my performance in school. Even during this time, I did not play many video games. What little video games I played were when my buddies and I got together at night to play Manhunt (yes, Manhunt was our party game) which we finished in the second semester. Even then, I found it difficult to balance out all things to make sure I had fun (which was way too high of a priority), did my work, and play games or go on the site as I used to in high school for hours on end.
After being disappointed by my grade performance and some of the decisions I had made, I got my act together. During Christmas break, and before inter-session in January, I decided that grades are now serious fucking business and that drinking was not something my body tolerates well and that I needed to stop that. So...I did that. During Inter-session and the second semester, I hardly ever drank, focused on my schoolwork and generally became my old self again and not a rave/partying douchebag who mostly cared about sexual encounters with girls. However, this realigned focus still kept me away from gaming. Even moreso, in fact, because I actually had to do the work. I don't think I had a single gaming session during the second semester and while that's not a bad thing, I do miss my old high school days of coming home and playing games and going on this site. While I am way more social and my life is more exciting and varied than ever before, I miss everything about growing up and adolescence. I want to become one of the most prominent members again, but I feel like my newfound adult life of college and work will never allow for that to happen. I mean, I am very happy to report that I have a strong "A" GPA now, and I have been with my first girlfriend for seven months now (who is fucking awesome), but I feel like my gaming part of me is dwindling. The only games I have played that came out in 2013 were part of Gears of War: Judgement, and Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon. I have not played a single game from 2014.
The reasons for this lack of gaming are multifold. First off, I have no time because I am balancing a social life, schoolwork and actual work. Secondly, all the money I have goes to either savings or gas so I have no time nor do I have any money, and it depresses the fuck out of me. Thirdly, I feel bad spending whatever cash I do have on new games because I have this massive backlog and I can't be buying games I'll have no time to play. While I am content with my new life and understand that while I have a lot more responsibilities now that I'm adult, I just don't have neither time nor the money to play any games, even during the Summer! For fuck's sake, I'm playing KOTOR still (the game is still super long).
I know that there's not much anybody can do, and I'm not looking for any advice or anything. I just wanted to explain my absence, and let you know that I am still among you. And that I do miss this site greatly. And I miss all of you greatly. Hopefully I'll soon strike that balance and be able say stupid, rambly shit on these forums again (like this blog), and maybe accomplish my dream of working in news, previews and coverage of video games.
P.S.- The site has changed and I forget how to write blogs specifically, if that's even an option anymore. If the mods need to step in and change it, that's completely okay with me.