Holy Review-gasm Batman!

 

Blogging Beverage: Iced Tea

Blogging Background: Great Big Sea - Fortune's Favour

 
Ok, so I've got a lot to talk about here, so let's get going shall we?
 

If his suit was built this poorly, he'd be lucky to get it on without losing a limb, y'know the important one

 Iron Man (360)
There was so much potential here, and unfortunately there still is. Marvel needs to get it's licenses away from Sega. But that's not the here or now. Right now we shall talk about why this is such an unfortunate game. Let's start with what I feel is the biggest problem with any comic book game (and something the people in charge of the Spire-Man games have finally figured out) and that's the fact that games based on movies based on comic books rarely turn out well (Spider-Man 2 is the only one I can think of at  the moment). Why, well other than the fact that they always seem to be half assed attempts at a good game, the story get's completely diluted. A comic book movie generally needs to boil down a bunch of story points to their essential bits for fit everything needed in the movie. When the video game based on a movie comes along that 90-120min story is clearly not enough to make a game of any sort of decent length. So what do they do? They shoe horn in different plot devices from the comic to fill it in. In Iron Man's case this would be AIM and the Maggia. AIM makes sense, Tony has always butted heads with them, but the Maggia? What the hell? For those of you unaware, the Maggia is Marvel comics version of the Mafia. Back in the early days of comics, the mafia was in full force to so protect themselves ever so slightly any time Marvel wanted mobsters in the comic they were referred to as part of the Maggia. The Maggia in the game is in name only as they have been completely re-purposed as some sort of nation or something. At any rate the story in this game makes absolutely no sense at all and is down right pathetic.
 
The gameplay sadly is not much better. While flying around in the suit feels great you are constantly hovering and shooting. That's not Iron Man dammit! That's Hover Shooting Robot Man. Did they not watch the movie? Have they not read the comic? Iron Man will shoot stuff from time to time, but he gets up close and tears shit apart just as much, if not more. There was no proper hand to hand as well, which made trying to smash things completely useless. Ok, so they focused primarily on shooting, so they must have done that well, right? Hell no! Its brutal, you can only shoot when you are hovering in mid air or on the ground (which is a very rare occurrence). Not only that, the only way to make sure that you aren't going to get shot or hit by ever single missle you have to freaking circle strafe your target......that was enjoyable in the 90's, not so much now. Then there's the damned re-spawning jets that shoot missiles at you non stop. Ok, cool, I need to take down the jet, fine. But don't bring more back after I clear the skies. Why the hell should I get rid of them in the first place if you are just going to bring them right back? I'll just keep trying to dodge them, thanks. There's so much more to complain about in this game, like the pointless upgrade system,  but I have more to cover and would like to finish writing some time this year.
 
To sum it all up, do not play this game unless under gun point. And even then, consider the sweet alternative of death, it might look better than you think after playing this for 20 minutes.
 

Iron Man (360) - 1 "Sega Hates You" out of 5



Hey Birdman! Ya get that thing I sent ya!?

 Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law (Wii)
Hell yes I got that thing ya sent me. It was hilarious! Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law is a Phoenix Wright clone with the illustrious Harvey Birdman in his place. I love the TV show, so I figured I would at least like the game a little as I also enjoy the Ace Attorney series. What I didn't expect was to enjoy this game so much I would play through it in one sitting. The gameplay is all very simple point and click, nothing fancy here. What you are really playing is for the story, there are 5 episodes and they range from 20-40 minutes each depending on how quickly you figure things out and they are all very funny. If you like the show at all this game is right up your alley. There's honestly not much more to write about on this game, it's all pretty simple, so let's just wrap this up here.
 

Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law (Wii) - 4 "HA HAAAH Nut Sack"'s out of 5



Was this game seriously always this hard?

 Banjo-Kazooie (XBLA)
Finally got around to S-Ranking Banjo-Kazooie. This game is classic Rare, before they forgot how to make a good game aka after Microsoft bought them. I'm not going to really bother review it other than to say that the final boss was ridiculous. I beat this game back when it first came out and I don't remember having this much trouble with the final showdown. And I had everything unlocked including the Red Honeycombs, insanity. Oh well, it's done and now I can move on to my next XBLA game Shadow Complex.
 

Banjo-Kazooie (XBLA) - 5 "GOD DAMN YOU WITCH!!!"'s out of 5


 

It's not dangerous, it's Dangeresque

 Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People Episode 4: Dangeresque 3 The Criminal Projective (PC)
I love Telltale Games! I've bought all of the games they have made even if I haven't played them all yet. The latest one I'm going through is the Strong Bad series. Episode 4 is played out entirely in the form for the action movie Dangeresque 3 The Criminal Projective. Which is written, directed, and edited all entirely by Strong Bad. Like all Telltale Games games, there are laughs abound and all in all, it`s just a really fun game. I love point and click games period, back to the old days of Maniac Mansion and the like. Once again, when it comes to this type of game there isn't much to review. The story is entertaining and fun, that's all you really need.   

Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People Episode 4: Dangeresque 3 The Criminal Projective (PC) - 4 "It's time to juuummp!"'s out of 5


 

That's a wrap folks

 
Well that was a lot of game completes this week. I've started working my way through Dead Rising on the 360 so keep a look out for that. I've been playing for a little bit so far and am enjoying it way more than the last time, now that I know a few things I didn't back then. Like for example, the convicts keep re-spawning, so don't bother trying to kill them unless you want the achievement and that there is a short cut to avoid them, well dammit. But yeah, I've died a few times now and have done the restart with current stats thing. At about level 13 or so and about to start over again. But having fun, and that's what matters. There's just something about killing zombies. It just feels right.

 
 Have a good one, everybody
Jesse "Goku13k" Dyck   
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Posted by Goku13K

 

Blogging Beverage: Iced Tea

Blogging Background: Great Big Sea - Fortune's Favour

 
Ok, so I've got a lot to talk about here, so let's get going shall we?
 

If his suit was built this poorly, he'd be lucky to get it on without losing a limb, y'know the important one

 Iron Man (360)
There was so much potential here, and unfortunately there still is. Marvel needs to get it's licenses away from Sega. But that's not the here or now. Right now we shall talk about why this is such an unfortunate game. Let's start with what I feel is the biggest problem with any comic book game (and something the people in charge of the Spire-Man games have finally figured out) and that's the fact that games based on movies based on comic books rarely turn out well (Spider-Man 2 is the only one I can think of at  the moment). Why, well other than the fact that they always seem to be half assed attempts at a good game, the story get's completely diluted. A comic book movie generally needs to boil down a bunch of story points to their essential bits for fit everything needed in the movie. When the video game based on a movie comes along that 90-120min story is clearly not enough to make a game of any sort of decent length. So what do they do? They shoe horn in different plot devices from the comic to fill it in. In Iron Man's case this would be AIM and the Maggia. AIM makes sense, Tony has always butted heads with them, but the Maggia? What the hell? For those of you unaware, the Maggia is Marvel comics version of the Mafia. Back in the early days of comics, the mafia was in full force to so protect themselves ever so slightly any time Marvel wanted mobsters in the comic they were referred to as part of the Maggia. The Maggia in the game is in name only as they have been completely re-purposed as some sort of nation or something. At any rate the story in this game makes absolutely no sense at all and is down right pathetic.
 
The gameplay sadly is not much better. While flying around in the suit feels great you are constantly hovering and shooting. That's not Iron Man dammit! That's Hover Shooting Robot Man. Did they not watch the movie? Have they not read the comic? Iron Man will shoot stuff from time to time, but he gets up close and tears shit apart just as much, if not more. There was no proper hand to hand as well, which made trying to smash things completely useless. Ok, so they focused primarily on shooting, so they must have done that well, right? Hell no! Its brutal, you can only shoot when you are hovering in mid air or on the ground (which is a very rare occurrence). Not only that, the only way to make sure that you aren't going to get shot or hit by ever single missle you have to freaking circle strafe your target......that was enjoyable in the 90's, not so much now. Then there's the damned re-spawning jets that shoot missiles at you non stop. Ok, cool, I need to take down the jet, fine. But don't bring more back after I clear the skies. Why the hell should I get rid of them in the first place if you are just going to bring them right back? I'll just keep trying to dodge them, thanks. There's so much more to complain about in this game, like the pointless upgrade system,  but I have more to cover and would like to finish writing some time this year.
 
To sum it all up, do not play this game unless under gun point. And even then, consider the sweet alternative of death, it might look better than you think after playing this for 20 minutes.
 

Iron Man (360) - 1 "Sega Hates You" out of 5



Hey Birdman! Ya get that thing I sent ya!?

 Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law (Wii)
Hell yes I got that thing ya sent me. It was hilarious! Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law is a Phoenix Wright clone with the illustrious Harvey Birdman in his place. I love the TV show, so I figured I would at least like the game a little as I also enjoy the Ace Attorney series. What I didn't expect was to enjoy this game so much I would play through it in one sitting. The gameplay is all very simple point and click, nothing fancy here. What you are really playing is for the story, there are 5 episodes and they range from 20-40 minutes each depending on how quickly you figure things out and they are all very funny. If you like the show at all this game is right up your alley. There's honestly not much more to write about on this game, it's all pretty simple, so let's just wrap this up here.
 

Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law (Wii) - 4 "HA HAAAH Nut Sack"'s out of 5



Was this game seriously always this hard?

 Banjo-Kazooie (XBLA)
Finally got around to S-Ranking Banjo-Kazooie. This game is classic Rare, before they forgot how to make a good game aka after Microsoft bought them. I'm not going to really bother review it other than to say that the final boss was ridiculous. I beat this game back when it first came out and I don't remember having this much trouble with the final showdown. And I had everything unlocked including the Red Honeycombs, insanity. Oh well, it's done and now I can move on to my next XBLA game Shadow Complex.
 

Banjo-Kazooie (XBLA) - 5 "GOD DAMN YOU WITCH!!!"'s out of 5


 

It's not dangerous, it's Dangeresque

 Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People Episode 4: Dangeresque 3 The Criminal Projective (PC)
I love Telltale Games! I've bought all of the games they have made even if I haven't played them all yet. The latest one I'm going through is the Strong Bad series. Episode 4 is played out entirely in the form for the action movie Dangeresque 3 The Criminal Projective. Which is written, directed, and edited all entirely by Strong Bad. Like all Telltale Games games, there are laughs abound and all in all, it`s just a really fun game. I love point and click games period, back to the old days of Maniac Mansion and the like. Once again, when it comes to this type of game there isn't much to review. The story is entertaining and fun, that's all you really need.   

Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People Episode 4: Dangeresque 3 The Criminal Projective (PC) - 4 "It's time to juuummp!"'s out of 5


 

That's a wrap folks

 
Well that was a lot of game completes this week. I've started working my way through Dead Rising on the 360 so keep a look out for that. I've been playing for a little bit so far and am enjoying it way more than the last time, now that I know a few things I didn't back then. Like for example, the convicts keep re-spawning, so don't bother trying to kill them unless you want the achievement and that there is a short cut to avoid them, well dammit. But yeah, I've died a few times now and have done the restart with current stats thing. At about level 13 or so and about to start over again. But having fun, and that's what matters. There's just something about killing zombies. It just feels right.

 
 Have a good one, everybody
Jesse "Goku13k" Dyck