Ninja Blade & Legendary demos

This game is a big pile of shit.

Do not put out demos if your game is shit... that only applies to legendary... I couldnt beat the minataur.... I dont think  my heart was really in it.

Ninja blade on the other hand is like devil may cry meets god of war meets ninja gaiden..... yeah theyre kinda all the same anyways.
I dont know the exact point that i decided i dont care for hack and slasher games (probably after getting 10,000 kills in DMC4)   They were all I cared for once upon a time with devil may cry being the game that swayed me into buying the ps2. aaaaaaanyways its stupidly quicktime heavy and I get what they were going for with all the  kill-dudes in-air-slash-at-20-zombies-jump-out-of-window-and-slash-enemies-on-the-way-down-fight-big-spider-do-quicktime-swing kind of thing  but it really didnt do anything to excite me I have seen it all before... I  suppose expecting something good from the people behind Tenchu-Z really is expecting too much.

Im sure loads of people will love it, Like they love NG2 and despite my prior love and dedication to playing earlier types of this kind of game learning all the combo's and timing to beat them on their hardest settings I just don't feel that anyone has even tried to change the formula at all heres hoping that this supposedly new rumoured fancy sony ninja game will do just that.


I played fable 2 a lot over  two days, I managed to change gender (thats an optional quest spoiler) Neglect my dog and chose the Greed option at the end of the game ....
I was generally  a complete motherfucker from the off where as soon as i got out of the child section I swiftly massacred the whole entire gypsy camp the second the tutorial told me i could take safety off my weapons. I then proceeded to bowerstone where I killed a bard and about twenty guards and then went to old town where I killed everyone everytime I ran through it due to there not being any guards. This style of playing pretty much continued  for the duration of my stay in albion.... Ive got awesome horns and a nice redy-blue skin now though.

Reasons why I am probably not best suited to marriage.. ( a conversation on XBL)

Me "what does the money subtraction mean when I am just running about the game?"
friend(whose game it is) "Oh thats the money allowance for your family... you can lower it if you go back to your house"
me ... warps to bloodstone, runs to house, kills wife.

been trying to get a few more characters on Marvel Vs Capcom 2 also...why the hell are they all so expensive????
its also makes me a little bit sad that the game looks so hideous on an HD tv I really love the way taht game plays, I really need to get another ps3 controller so i can have 2 player fun and get some more trophies on little big planet....of which i bought the Metal gear packs...
The MGS, LBP levels are brilliant and make me wonder how they messed up most of the in game levels with more lenient difficulty, better checkpointing and not so much reliance on grabbing and swinging.

LBP has had really broken online for the past couple of days... sony need to sort something out with their online and quick before killzone comes out (which they won't)

the end

Games I got for christmas.

Marvel Vs Capcom 2 (ps2) : it is awesome but  I dont think I fully get how all of the switching and assisting works yet

Valkyria chronicles(ps3): I haven't opened it yet

Rockband: Really fun but the drums are waaaaaayyyy harder than I thought, my timing cant quite seem to get some of the more complicated parts.. and theres a lot of  songs that are either unknown or truly, truly terrible.



Best monkey smoking a cigarette -  Metal gear solid 4

Most annoying advice giver that gives the same useless advice right up until the final mission - Fiona Mercs 2

Best strings and trumpets and other big noisy instruments to make awesome soundzzzz - Tomb Raider: Underworld

Best use of a pikachu being pikachu and doing generally pikachuish things -  pikachu... Super Smash Brothers Brawl

Most amazing stomping on a body and watching someones head pop off -  Dead Space

Game what is as pretty as a nice pretty french girl in a nice pretty dress looking all pretty - Gears of war 2

Best radiostation to feature bands wot isnt T.A.T.u but sounds like them - Vladivostok FM GTAIV

Favourite uses of the word "Fucko" - Clyde , Army of two

Best Hitler who isn't Hitlers face getting exploded and all that -  Bionic Commando ReArmed

Best Lizard wot gotz stuck vertically in the scenery and then glitched about a bit -  Tomb Raider: Underworld

Best use of the words "FIVE, MOTHERFUCKER!!!" that come from bender in futuramas mouth- Marcus fenix, Gears of war 2

Game what has the best use of Mr. Bones and lions what is liek aslan from narnia -  Beautiful Katamari

Best Game I boight for my 360 that won't run on my console so I had to give it away to a friend  - Bully: scholarship edition



* Bought final game of the year- prince of persia its a 4/5 which means i can compile my 08 top 10 in full..
* I will have a separate dl games and retail games top 10 because i am awesome like that.
* kinda still wish i had played fable 2, banjo kazooie, Cod:Waw. MK vs DC, left 4 dead and resistance 2.
* The original banjo is full of frustratingly obscure game design only early 3D platformers were capable of.
* SSFIITHDR is still full of ken spammers, I have accepted this now and my SF2 skillzz are almost as good as when i was about 15.
* still hating LBP whilst also still wanting to love it. one of my levels went down in ranking even though nobody new had played it... AWESOME!
* Home is retarded FACT!
* Tomb raider underworld is really buggy and glitchy and not as good as legend or anniversary...has a beautiful score though.
* still considering the one gun runthrough on dead space
* im on wave 48 of horde on Gow2 at last
* Still agree 100% with that sleep deprived rant i posted and had to delete.
* nxe  makes my game list load up really quickly now..... everything else is ten times slower


Welcome HOME, " **** OFF!" (Beta)

If you would have asked me six months ago from videos what i thought playstation Home would be like I would have replied "Probably a lot like a lobby in Phantasy Star Online"... What is Playstation Home like?????

A lobby in Phantasy Star Online.             ( Minus the chance that you might go out and kill alien monsters )

Just a bunch of people running about doing stupid dances, pointing and nodding their head.
I Knew There was something wrong the moment my HIDEOUSLY UGLY, More realistic avatar looked much less like me than my NXE avatar  and even the Mii sitting on my sisters Wii. At the least they could have given you access to a full range of faces and hairstyles to make something kind of resembling what you may actually look like. I accept they want to sell clothes... ratchet ears and clank backpack whatever,  but let me make something that won't give small children nightmares.

It's a BETA! you may cry. But that doesnt really change the core of Home (or is that  QUORE?) And that core is hugely , hugely outdated and boring, completely  and utterly boring. I have had more fun in a Beautiful Katamari online lobby than in home and youre given about seven things to do in that. Sony has given me an ugly avatar, lots of places I can potentially spend money and access to media faster accessed though switching on my PC and going to websites.
It seems it took sony two years to try and create something new and amazing and to be honest I'm not even certain  It was ever that. It was always going to be a second rate  second life or  the non gaming equivalent of the sims both of which are completely love/hate in the way they work, Home is never going to be a drawing point for a much larger community, It will be a Huge failure when all is said and done all you can look forward to the  already-packed-with "YOU Iz a Girl... lets fuck" crowd hanging about trying to pick up virtual dates with inbred mutant avatars. How very, very depressing.

I am a  pretty unsociable, solitary person But when something comes along and makes me want to tell people to go out and make friends in the real world there must be something wrong with it.

First words said to me in psn Home...

ME: "Hello"
stranger: "**** off!"


Chun-Li?... No, Seriously!

Yeah, Ive seen it before.. Over and over and over and over and over and over again... Now STOP IT!

Super Streetfighter II HD Remix is pretty much perfect, or as perfectly balanced as any fighter you will ever find on the planet ever, I have no intention of talking about my endless summer holiday where I played the game on the snes or the first time I became transfixed by the arcade machine I had no money for at a Butlins when I was a very young boy. Instead I wish to talk about 15 second audio clips sent over Xbox live. The first time i encountered this was after playing Soulcalibur IV often from oppponents using kilik or cervantes. Not to compliment me on my so-so playing style but to whine about LOSING "why dont you learn  how to play the game properly" etc, etc.. But I did....I won...sorry, I shall try harder to lose next time *shrug* Now all of the 6 or so messages i recieved over the past couple of days were from Ryu/Ken/Akuma hadoukenhadoukenhadoukenshoryukennnnnn!!!jumpkicksweep! spammers, all of them. I said this before and I shall say it again, When did it stop being fun and  more of a deadly serious "game" to people? Surely you shouldnt expect this of games that essentially are of a bygone era (revivals aside) The games we played as kids seem to now judge twentysomethings (and  a few others) on their manliness. (or womanliness...maybe)
I am very fond of ending up in games where It is quite apparent I am of a similar skill level, sure I'm not brilliant  and I still have strange difficulty pulling off a dragon punch (still not so sure why i can't do it right) But I can Hold down my corner with an above average Chun-Li. (Ive also grown a new fondness for E Honda) But the ryu/ken/akuma bunch really need to stop it. I don't really care about how many fireballs they can do in a row because y'know theyre easily jumped over/ blocked, And the spammers with the highest complaints seem to be the ones who cannot win unless they come across someone who cannot read the other players (usually) very simple patterns.
Also Be kind. Dhalsim Sucks, if youre fighting against Dhalsim and come across the same player  trying to win with him over and over... let them win, go on  be good person and let them get their win for the achievement you know you want to... I always do, But then again i'm a pretty good person.

Also hugely fond of the fact that if someone quits it nets you a win and the other player a loss... So all you early quitters at the end of round 3/5... FAIL!

also, also.. I got my 100 matches achievement at 99... weird huh?

Neil VS LittleBigPlanet

I want this but dont really want to pay for something that was probably already made when the game shipped.

This is probably the most eloquently
I could ever sum up my thoughts on
LittleBigPlanet. I have been angered
enthralled, in love with, hateful, charmed
frustrated, amused and many other things
with sonys not-very-good-at system seller.

I had mentioned before in a previous blog that I really did not like having to play the
Idiotically frustrating single player levels for creation tools to use in creation mode
The bare minimum is ok , but it kinda annoys me to know there is still many, many
items I will either never get or be able to use... Another thing I hate about the  story
levels is the x2, x4 parts of the levels... put costumes in those areas by any means
but seriously MM do not deprive me of  creation tools, That is just  bad, bad design
considering your game is so heavily geared towards that solitary part of the game.

And this is where my anger has risen considerably. I'm not going to go into the
well documented moderation stuff but the TERRIBLE design of the online game.
Firstly I have yet to play a  multiplayer game where  someone hasn't suffered from
crippling lag , Whenever I was doing Ok I would always be informed that the other
player was either having difficulty with lag or connection issues to my game. (this is
NOT a problem with my internet speed..I play Many, many, many online games and rarely
have these kinds of issues)
Now level tagging is ridiculous, It is borderline broken, full of misinformation and random
statements to not get your level played, If my level has been tagged with a certain amount
of descriptions why can I not pick and choose which  three best describe my level?
And boy are those tags irrelevant.

MY levels and their tags......

"Good things come to those that wait" (first level i made.... not exciting or anything but far from broken)

Daft, Long, Machinery, Rubbish, Tricky, Vehicles,weird

"Treeworld" (easy as hell, hand holding and simple puzzles to stop any kind of frustration)

annoying, boring, complex, easy, fun, lousy, nerve-wracking, perilous, puzzler, quick,
repetitive, short, tricky, weird.

"ALL YOUs faces iz LAPIN!" (very tricky and verging on being broken on purpose)

Brilliant, creepy, slow, weird

"Pop quiz jack" (very , very, very quick and easy level)

perilous, lousy, quick, relaxing, rubbish, slow, tricky

Now I think Treeworld is the best example of this. with many of the tags completely contradicting
each other, That level is so simple, straightforward and hand-holding that I wonder how it got some
of those tags. For one the level is NOT nerve wracking or very weird...maybe the bear..but yknow.

"cool levels" you know what? most of these fucking levels are NOT cool... 10000000000 TROPHY OH YEAH COOLZZ
levels are just not "cool",. Neither are really simple levels that someone spent  two minutes on... and why are all the
 cool levels still the same as two weeks ago? I do not deny how amazing azure palace or how well made world
of colour or littlebigbasketball are..but seriously theres a whole planet and supposedly 800000 user created levels...
FILL THE DAMN PLANET! and preferably with... COOL LEVELS.

Level burying... have you just spent 5, 6, 7 10! hours building a level?, Have you published it and nobody played it?
yeah, thought so. The only way it seems to be able to get people to play your levels is to constantly republish them....
every fuckin day! Im certain theres a few people that will deny this happens becuse of luck or good fortune and all that but
I have No luck with anyone playing by levels unless I constantly republish them. I know theyre not the best levels but
I want something to come of the time and effort I put in and I have put a LOT of time and effort into tweaking a couple
of them. (I guess you had to be in the beta to get any substantial plays on your level.... oh great)
 On top of that I made very different levels (first one not counting because It was me figuring out the controls)  and It
seems more people play your level if it took 30 minutes to make.. I have gotten more plays time ratio wise on "jack"
by a mile, and admittedly it didnt take very long to build at all.
"LAPIN!" on the otherhand is so very weird and switch/mechanism-heavy and has had very few plays in comparison
republish, republish, republish!!!!!!!

Now the most unforgiveable  thing... I have  searched specifically (on another psn name) for each of my levels, exact spelling
on all of them  and how many did the search find????? NONE of them... dear  media molecule YOUR GAME IS BROKEN!
In another game this is disappointing, in LBP with the slogan "play, create, SHARE" it verges on being unforgiveable.

So yeah LBP  I am almost at the point of giving up on it, I like its style and the way it does things, I have even almost come to
terms with the imprecise and fiddly controls. I want  it to be the greatest game ever but it seems  the online wishes to stop this
at every turn I take. I will say it again.. my levels are not the bees knees but theyve had time and effort put into them, I have tried..
and I have tried a LOT harder than many others, I just get so infuriated that some level which is just an entrance and an exit or
a million prize bubbles has ten thousand plays and 200 hearts and  seventeen with 0 hearts have played mine in over a week.

Feel free for anyone to add me to their PSN i am "seamonsterking"
if anyone wants to heart me (i need one more for trophy)
or heart my level with the most hearts/plays already i will happily return the favour

and would be hugely, hugely, hugely grateful.

I win at Xbox live

CLUNK Achievement unlocked ALMOSTUNATTAINABLEap - met someone online who was friendly, talkative and not a total dick!



Really quick thoughts (mostly about LittleBigPlanet)

Gears of War 2  - Is very, very good. Has stunning art design and that i was unprepared for. It also Broke my save meaning I had to restart about halfway into the game.

Dead space: downfall - is OK but lacks the menace of the game and really needed to tone down its uberviolence a couple of notches.

mirrors edge reviews - dont surprise me, all the issues the reviewers have are the same as I had playing the demo.

left 4 dead demo - is taking forever to download.

world at war - seeing jason ocampo's review on IGN made me want this game... and I was not blown away by the beta.

LittleBigPlanet - just hasnt captivated me as much as it should have, I find the single player levels to verge more on  the side of frustration than fun, The jumping is often the cause of death. Even with skill and a firm grasp of the jump mechanic the game will still decide to kill you.
Dont play the single player then...
Well, you HAVE to play the single player to collect items if not youll be left with a bare bones creation tool which  means that media molecule are total liars, I dont need to go search back on LBP news to know that MM said if you werent comfortable with the single player EVERYTHING could be gainable in the creation mode... and that is just not true in fact the game DEMANDS you play the  so-so single player to get anything worth a damn (including costumes).. and loads of those bubbles can only be gained with two or even four players.. often well into the levels that are very tricky  meaning that many people will never, ever gain some of the items the game has to offer. I should have just waited  for LBP to become cheap and sit down with it  during a much more reasonable gaming climate than in sept-nov .