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Hailinel

I wrote this little thing (it's not actually a little thing): http://www.giantbomb.com/profile/hailinel/blog/lightning-returns-wha...

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End Boss Month #25: Mega Man 1-10

In science, proper experimentation generally follows certain guidelines to ensure such things as safety and accuracy. In a properly controlled experiment, one catastrophic failure is generally all it takes for the scientists involved to either change the experiment in some significant way or simply move on. And while the science community in video games are generally an eccentric bunch, most are generally ready and able to acknowledge these basic concepts. If, for example, the resonance cascade you triggered happened to cause an interdimensional invasion and mass slaughter of your comrades, you probably don’t want to do that again.

On the other hand, if you’re Dr. Albert W. Wily, you’re probably just getting started.

The Scientific Sisyphus, ladies and gentlemen.
The Scientific Sisyphus, ladies and gentlemen.

Mega Man’s eternal 8-bit foe, Dr. Wily was once a brilliant scientist working for the good of mankind. Except that mankind didn’t care about any of his work, so he decided to screw mankind over instead. Thus, he took six Robot Masters and reprogrammed them to do his evil bidding, only to have his one-time ally Dr. Light upgrade a housekeeping robot into a combat model. And this little robot thrashed his minions, and then sent him packing in defeat.

So how did Dr. Wily retaliate? By adjusting his original plan and upgrading it from six Robot Masters to eight. The end result, however, was the same. But that didn’t stop him, either. He just tried the same plan again.

And again.

And again.

Single-minded? Yes. Flies in the face of standard scientific procedure? Yep. Do you think Dr. Wily cares? Oh, hell no. He’s nothing if not persistent, and if at first he doesn’t succeed the first seven times, he’ll just try it again. Maybe he’ll throw in the occasional twist, like framing a vaguely stereotypical Russian scientist or even Dr. Light himself, but he is determined to continue throwing eight-packs of Robot Masters at Mega Man until he finds a combination that actually sticks.

Though, it might actually help if he didn’t happen to fight Mega Man himself in giant death machines that also happened to be weak against the weapons of his own servants. I mean, it’s hard to fall much lower when you’ve been defeated because your superweapon happened to be weak against Mega Man spinning like a top.

Yet, despite his myriad failures, he’s able to keep coming back for more. But why? Is the prison system of 200X just that inept? Is Dr. Wily paying someone under the table? Is he just that suave?

Nah. It’s gotta be the mustache.

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