By Hailinel 21 Comments
Here we are, a full week into End Boss Month! But this is no time for me to start slacking. There's still a lot of the month left, and a lot of bosses to cover. So let's return to the era of the Super NES and pay a visit to an old nemesis.
By and large, King K. Rool, the villainous king of the Kremlings in Donkey Kong Country, is not exactly the most villainous villain to ever impart his villainy. I mean, let’s face it; his greatest criminal desire is the possession of a mountain of bananas. And to be clear, Kremlings are basically crocodiles, right?
So why in the hell would K. Rool want to steal bananas? Is he the one Kremling in existence that decided to take up veganism? Does he suffer from such a potassium deficiency to which only a gorilla’s banana hoard could possibly serve as the great equalizer? Or is he just an idiot that actually thinks that bananas are a form of currency?
Whatever the case, the Kremling King decided to abscond with the wrong gorilla’s bananas. The moment the theft was discovered, it was immediately on like Donkey Kong. (Please don’t sue me, Nintendo.)
And at the end of DK’s long journey, he and Diddy come face to face with King K. Rool. And well, for being king, K. Rool doesn’t exactly possess an imposing figure. His main method of attack is throwing his crown and charging forward.
I should repeat myself. He throws his crown and charges forward. He essentially begs for DK and Diddy to jump on his head. Granted, it’s not exactly hopping up and down on a bridge with a golden axe conveniently positioned behind him, but still. Though to be fair, he does mix things up with leaping out of the way as a series of cannon balls rain down, ready to squash our heroes if they’re not quick to dodge. Of course, then K. Rool goes right back to throwing his crown.
On the other hand, K. Rool deserves credit for at least incorporating one peculiar novelty into his repertoire. After taking his licks, he goes down, and the credits roll. Well, sort of. Before Donkey Kong Country, I can’t think of any game I had played in which the game threw joke credits at the player, but there they were. And when they had passed, K. Rool got up. And he was pissed.
Not that it really mattered, because he just went right back to throwing his crown, but not before exchanging running forward with hopping forward like a lunatic. Yeeeeah, no. Sorry, K. Rool. You mess with an ape’s bananas, you get…uh, well, I can’t think of a clever simian-related joke to end that sentence. But you probably get the picture.
K. Rool would go on to serve as the final boss of the rest of the Donkey Kong Country series. Though, for whatever reason, he wasn’t brought back for Donkey Kong Country Returns. Maybe he’s finally had enough banana thievery, but then again, it’s hard to come back from a defeat when you get your own butt handed to you by a baby. A baby gorilla, granted, but a baby.