A Drunken sort of rant on the Xbox One and its reception

Right so I was drunk and decided write a thing on the Xbox One, not sure why just felt like it . I'm really quite sorry for the whole thing. It contains some but not all of the grammar and I bet there are some very clever fellows out there who could show me how to grammar more. It also has occasional use the C-word, but in my defence I am Australian. So if you would like to read my scribbling here you go.

So here’s the thing about the Xbox One (a kind of shitty name but that’s beside the point) people need to calm the fuck down about this whole used game DRM thing. This is a fucking inevitability of consoles as we move towards an all-digital future, and we are by the way moving towards an all-digital future so forget about that physical shit. Used games have LONG since been abandoned on the PC and on platforms such as iOS THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A USED GAME. The argument put forward by Mr. Biscuit in relation to used games being different from every other medium such as music and film is admittedly a fairly convincing one and I urge all those reading this to watch his video (and if you are reading this I truly am very sorry for everything). Though I am a fair man I will also give play to the Jimquisition who argues the opposite. The best alternative would be to allow used games for now but to allow publishers to get a cut of the profits from their sales. This would make everybody happy as well as prove my credentials for being fair and balanced when it comes to arguments (I’m like Fox News!). Though if you do want used games to exist forever then you are probably a cunt.

Television is other important aspect of the Xbox One which will no doubt be embraced by everyone, unless of course your part of an ever increasing minority who doesn’t give a shit about television. Look I’m not American and I'm fairly certain none of this shit will work in my country so I really couldn’t fuck about this.

Now the concept of always online is admittedly one in which I am a little bit concerned about. I certainly live in an area where many people don’t necessarily always have a connection to the internet and may be in trouble when it comes to some games. This is certainly most certainly far worse in more4 remote areas of my own country as well as other areas outside of my own country. Having said that I understand why Microsoft made the decision to have an always online console, it allows for a permanent sense of community among console owners, it allows for the greatness of cloud saving and most importantly it ensures Kinect is always there to watch your every move as you watch Storage Wars well as catching a glimpse at your nuddy bits!

Alright so the other area that people have been shitting on the console for is the fact that it has no games. Where are the games? I guess Microsoft will reveal a metric cunt-ton of games during E3 which they hopefully will do since they will apparently “kill” Sony. Don Mattrick will have to do more to sell their console than show the disembodied head of Jack Tretton and other executives at Sony at their conference; he will need to show games and lots of them. They may be capable of this or they might not I don’t fucking know.

Microsoft really needs to pull their heads out of their collective dick holes and explain just how always is always online really is it every 24 hours, all the time, once a month, once a never WHAT? Also this used game thing also needs to be clarified, while I brilliantly and masterfully explained beyond criticism why used games mean cunting shit, it would be good for Microsoft to explain just WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Will used games exist, and if they do will it be implemented in such a way as to allow publishers to get a cut of the sales. There really is no excuse for Microsoft not to have had a PR line before the console got unveiled.

So overall the One could turn out to be fantastic or complete shit. It will be always online except if it isn’t. And finally and most importantly it will prevent you from playing used games unless it totally does allow you to play them.

It is with this that I bid you farewell

Peace cunts!

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