Video Games Don't Teach You Real Life Skills. Part 1?
By HS21 62 Comments
L.A Noire
L.A Noire, a big budget adventure game set in 1940s Los Angeles where the main gameplay mechanic is sussing out which suspects are lying to your face and which ones are telling the God honest truth. After knocking down a few cases in homicide I felt like I had developed a keen sense of perception allowing me to tell when a person is or isn't lying. I was excited to take these new found skills and apply them to real life interactions with people whose faces didn't creep me the fuck out. Actually that's not always the case when talking to someone in real life, one of my co-workers has this weird snaggletooth and an eye so lazy it looks like its lounging in a hammock the way it sways back and forth, back and forth. But anyways...
I was at the grocery store buying a stick of butter, a pound and a half of beef bouillon cubes and a box of Fruit Roll-Ups for a recipe I've been meaning to try. During my trip through the store a fairly attractive woman walked up to me in the toiletries aisle where I was looking for my stick of butter. She had short, red hair, bright, green eyes and was wearing a red summer dress which showed off her slender figure. As far as attractive women go she was both attractive...and a woman...so that was a fitting description. She approached me with a smile and can of sliced pineapples in her hand.
"Excuse me, could you tell me what the expiration date on this is? I left my glasses at home" she asked me. I immediately called bullshit and saw her little act for what it was. Left your glasses at home? Yeah right, then how'd you notice my stunning good looks from across the store? Want to buy a can of pineapples? Puh-leeze, women can't open cans, she's not fooling me. This was clearly an attempt to flirt with me so that she could ask for my number before she left the store.
[A] Truth
[X] Doubt
[Y] Lie
.... I looked at her face, the way her eyes moved, the creasing of her forehead. Her face had 'lust' written all over it. She didn't care about the expiration date. What she really wanted was me.
[Y] Lie
I leaned forward, "Drop the act", I knocked the can out of her hand and she turned to watch it fly through the air, land on the floor and roll away loudly down the aisle, pineapple juice slowly leaking and leaving a trail of fruity deliciousness as it kept on rolling. "Just admit what you want", I said as I put my hand on her breast. Another look flashes across her face, this one was definitely not a look of lust. I felt a sharp pain flash across my shin. After kicking me she spits in my eye then aims her shopping cart at me. Already putting all my weight on my other leg to ease the pain she rams the shopping cart into me and I easily fall over.
An hour later I was sitting on a chair inside a police station. I found myself on the other side of the interrogation. I could see the way the detective asking me the questions was studying my face. I told him how the woman came on to me and that when I refused her inappropriate sexual advances she attacked me out of spite. I told him that I was the victim here and that they should release me and arrest her. Once I finished telling my story he put his little notebook away, he was about to make a judgement call based on my statement.
[Y]Lie
He was good.