HS21's forum posts
Source Filmmaker was released almost 6 months ago and already a lot of great stuff has been made with it. Things such as The Hurt Locker, The Usual Suspects, Band of Idiots and Interview with a Vampire never would have been made without Source Filmmaker. It's a great tool for anyone interested in some aspect of film making ranging from writing, voice acting or cinematographizing. Budgets for these Source Filmmaker made films range from pocket change to the price of Christina Aguilera's dirty bathwater circa 2004. The profits from a select few Source Filmmaker made projects are estimated to be on track to surpassing The Avenger's current box office gross by early 2013.
Are there any Giant Bombers using or thinking about using this tool to create their own short films? I would love to see visualized versions of forum thread discussions.
SCENE 1. EXT. OFF-TOPIC FORUMS. DAY.
A FORUM USER gingerly walks up to a group of other Giant Bombers perusing the Off-Topic Forum.
Hello everyone. There is an attractive female co-worker who I have become smitten with. What ever shall I do? Certainly it can't be something as simple as reading social cues and deciding whether or not I should ask her out on a date flat out.
(Weed smoking Sephiroth shifts his weight and fidgets with his fingers nervously)
I think you should fuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkk her.
You should touch her shoulder dude. Or fake your own death.
Why are you even thinking about pursuing a relationship with another person? That kind of thing is for the birds, or any other of God's creatures except human beings. I was hurt by someone of the opposite sex once 10 years ago and I believe that relationships are unnecessary. I refuse to enter into one in order to shield myself from the pain that I felt when Becky Wilder refused my valentine's day card in the 7th grade. I choose to shut myself off from the world in fear of being hurt again and have convinced myself that all of the happy couples I see around me are mirage like and would turn into skeletons if I approached them.
SCENE 2. INT. THREAD TITLED: I WANT TO ARGUE FOR THINGS I DON'T FULLY UNDERSTAND. NIGHT.
ORIGINAL POSTER stands up on soapbox. Breathes in deeply.
I think it's preeeetttyyy messed up what's going on in Far Cry 3. The third Far Cry game? Yes the conclusion to the epic trilogy of spotting people with binoculars. There's totally a white dudebro in it and then he like, saves brown people. What the eff Ubisoft?
Are you referring to the concept of the 'White Man's Burden'? Don't you think the entire premise of a privileged white Westerner being flung out of his comfort zone and into a world of cruelty and murder wouldn't really work if the protagonist wasn't the intentionally generically named Jason Brody? It has 'Bro' in his name, that surely wasn't an accident. Don't you think the game is a commentary on the video game playing community that is largely made up of 18-35 year old white guys and their ability to murder and gain gratification from murder in video games? I thought Jason's reflective conversation with Daisy where he thinks about killing making him feel like he's "winning" made that pretty clear. I mean, I guess you could make an argument that all of the side quests in the game are kind of pointless and lack any real story or character substance. But isn't that the case with side quests in virtually every single video game ever made? Why is it suddenly supposedly portraying the superiority of the white man over the islanders? I did a lot of pointless shit in Skyrim and those quest givers where mostly white men with blonde hair and blue eyes.
Fuuuuccckkkk maaaannn, that dudebro Brody is showing those brown people how it's done. I guess Ubisoft's message is that white people are superior to minorities. You're right OP.
Thanks a lot Final Fantasy, great input. And while we're on the subject of totally and completely fucked up things in video games, what's up with the new Lara Croft being all beat up and shit? Why do the developers have to portray her as a weak willed ninny that cries?
Well, Eidos and Square-Enix have explicitly stated that this new Tomb Raider game is a reboot and an origin story for Lara. They specifically said that the character will go on a journey from being a scared and inexperienced woman to the strong and self assured character that fans know her as. Besides, don't you guys revel in every scene in the Uncharted games when Nathan Drake gets the shit beat out of him? I feel like you would make the argument that Square-Enix was attempting to disparage women by portraying them as bumbling, clumsy, rock climbers that constantly fall over things and hurt themselves, even though that's exactly what Naughty Dog does in the Uncharted games. But I guess it's endearing when it happens to Nathan Drake.
Hey Sephiroth, that sweet, dank, herb is totally legal in Colorado now, crazy huh?
Yo, most deff OP, mos def.
SCENE 3. INT. THREAD TITLED: I HATE THIS GIANT BOMB STAFF MEMBER. DAY.
OP crosses arms and pouts lips.
Ungh, I hate __________. Why doesn't he just leave the site?
Irrationally Defensive Poster
Hey man FUCK you for feeling that way! You leave!
Fuck I'm soooo highhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Oh Christ, I'm so alone. So, so alone.
You guys ever notice he looks just like a techno Mickey Mouse?
So Source Filmmaker is a pretty cool tool. Here is a video made in it. These Giant Bombers are in it:
Deadglove - http://www.giantbomb.com/profile/dudeglove/
@HS21: Where've you been, man? Excellent way to enter a thread!
He's been biding his time. Waiting. Because he knew that one day, someone would mention Hitman47. And he would be there.
He was a goddamn super troll of the internet. GB is lucky to have had him grace the forums.
GovernmentCheese is still the King., Hitman was too hostile for my tastes.
This is all I live for now.
Hey I'm Chad. We just met and by 'met' I mean your eyes serendipitously wandered down into the comments section of a video or article on the internet and you've read a blurb I wrote detailing my thoughts and feelings about said video or article. What luck! Now you know how I feel about this reboot of an old PC game franchise turned FPS or the remake of a little known cult 70s horror film! I'm a pretty big fan of the older stuff, I just wish people would leave that stuff alone. Wouldn't we all be better off if people didn't try to tamper with the classics and get their grubby hands of change on things? Advancements in medicine? Pshh, who needs it? What's wrong with the 'ol stand by of chicken soup and illness sucking leeches? Oh man the automobile? No thanks, I'll just use these getaway sticks called legs, they've never failed me before except for that time when I fell out of a tree peepin' on the widow next door. But I'm losing the plot here, let me find it again.
If you're going to read someone's comment on the internet it should be mine. My opinions are unique and fresh and I have many facets to my comment writing. Here, let me show you using this article: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/4748292.stm
Ungh, the dowry he had to pay was only $50? The goat must not have been a good fuck. Totally not worth getting caught and being forced to marry it. He should have fucked a gazelle, something with class. Lame.
That is THE WORST THING EVER that this guy would engage in coitus with a goat. But it sure is THE BEST THING, LIKE, EVER that he was forced to marry the goat. *Nervous laugh/facial twitch/forced reference to Nic Cage*
Staunchly Defensive for no Discernible Reason
Wow, it is a human being's RIGHT to force him or herself on an animal. Love works in mysterious ways, and sometimes one of those ways is goat fucking. Just leave him alone please, let him be happy. Stop demonizing this goat rapist you vultures.
Dude fucked that goat and got caught and was forced to marry the goat he raped? So what? Who cares? I don't. Did Prometheus come out yet? Whatever.
Pointlessly Relating a Life Experience Despite Knowing Deep Inside That Nobody Cares
Oh man, that's pretty crazy. Reminds me of this one time during a family reunion about 3 years ago, it was time for dinner and everyone was at the table except for my uncle. We were all looking for him and then we heard these weird yelping noises from the barn. My cousin Jebediah made a joke about my uncle being a sick, dirty goat fucker. Turns out it was just my little sister Debbie lighting a Furbie on fire. Hahahahahaha, oh man.
Disguising a miniature lecture as a comment in a bizarre attempt at looking well informed even though you know people know you Wikipedia'd that shit
That's pretty crazy. Did you guys know that In many jurisdictions, all forms of zoophilic acts are prohibited? Others outlaw only the mistreatment of animals, without specific mention of sexual activity. In some countries, such as Denmark, bestiality is not outlawed. It is currently illegal in Canada, Netherlands, 34 U.S. states, Australia, the United Kingdom, New Zealand, Turkey and Ghana. In the UK, Section 63 of the Criminal Justice and Immigration Act 2008 (also known as the Extreme Pornography Act) outlaws images of a person performing or appearing to perform an act of intercourse or oral sex with an animal (whether dead or alive). Countries such as Belgium, Germany, and Russia are somewhere in between: they permit sexual activity with animals, but prohibit the promotion of animal-oriented pornography.
Informing People That I was the First Comment
Informing the Poster of the First Comment That he is an Asshole.
Fuck you man, no one cares. Gawd. I'm so mad about something so inconsequential. Arghhhh. Anyways, I too have no input on this article.
Those are just a few approaches to comment crafting that I've got going on at the moment. I'm working on a few new techniques that I just can't wait for you to read on the next article about something as world shatteringly important as video game "news" or the announcement of a new film. Make sure to @reply my comments! I get this delightful redirection of blood to my phallic vessel whenever a stranger on the internet has read my shit, and shit it certainly is.