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HumanityPlague

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So...G4, eh?

So, saw a funny tweet by Victor Lucas (Electronic Playground dude), in which he wants to save G4 on American broadcast companies.  Apparently, DirecTV wants to drop G4 on Nov. 1st.  His quote is, " Need more geek TV in US not less!"
 
...yeah...
 
Ok, first thing, I actually like Victor Lucas.  I never watched Electronic Playground regularly, because I honestly don't think it's ever been really shown much, in America.  However, I did used to watch/enjoy "Judgment Day" which was on G4.  Judgment Day was a two person review show with Lucas, and Tommy Tallarico, that aired up until 2006.  I should note, Judgment Day was the American name for the show.  Lucas is MAD Canadian, and the show's Canadian name was "Reviews on the Run" (which still exists somewhere up there, and...yeah)
 
Ok, here's the problem with Lucas's statement:  G4 is probably the FURTHEST thing away from actual geek tv (that is trying to capture the market)  To my knowledge there's two other networks trying to appeal to "geeks" (or gamers, or take your pick) ,  Syfy, and Spike TV.  Syfy has this embarrassing WCG Ultimate Gamer show on, which is a reality show to try and find the "ultimate gamer", apparently.  Spike TV has a show called "GameTrailers TV with Geoff Keighley".  It's a little geared towards fluff, but Keighley is perfectly fine.
 
With this in mind, and with G4 trying to get the "nerd" "geek" "gamer" or whatever phrase they want to use, viewing audience, let's take a looko at 10/29/2010's ENTIRE schedule, from top to bottom.
 
12:00 AM and 12:30 AM, "It's Effin' Science".  Uh, from the description, it sounds like a bad Mythbusters clone.  I literally have no other thoughts on this show.
1:00 AM to 2:00 AM  "Attack of the Show".  Presumably a rerun of the one from 6 hours ago.  I'll get into AOTS later.
2:00 AM to 2:30 AM  "X-Play"  Again, presumably the repeat of the new one that aired prior, and once again, I'll get into it later.
2:30 AM to 3:00 AM "Web Soup".  Ok, I like Chris Hardwick, and he actually has some knowledge.  However, this is a terrible show.  The premise is god-awful, because NO ONE CARES ABOUT INTERNET VIDEOS.  The reason the Soup is popular is because they take clips from tv.
3:00 AM to 4:00 AM  "Cheaters"  Yes, watching the dumbest, most white-trashiest (not that they're all white, but you get the stereotype) people and their 3 minutes of yelling at each other.  This certainly fulfills some aspect of being "geeky".  Plus, the show is fake, so there you go.  It caters more towards fat, 40 year old housewives than the 18-30 male demographic.
4:00 AM to 5:00 AM "Attack of the Show"  In case you missed it 2 hours ago, and hate yourself.
From 5:00 AM to 9:00 AM the network just runs paid programming.  Which is dumb, but at least the whores on those shows admit that they're whoring something....as opposed to some whores I'll expose later on.
9:00 AM to 10:00 AM  "Cheaters"  Great.
10:00 AM to 11:00 AM "Ninja Warrior"  I actually love Ninja Warrior.  It's a great show.  G4 kind of ran it into the ground a bit, but the core show is good, and fun to watch.  Also, "American Ninja Warrior" is fucking dumb.
11:00 AM to 11:30 AM "Unbeatable Banzuke"  A little less focused than Ninja Warrior, but still good.  Needs a better name.
11:30 AM to 12:00 PM  "Whacked Out Videos"  Web Soup, without Chris Hardwick?  Dumb.
12:00 PM to 1:00 PM "Attack of the Show"  Again, probably the repeat from yesterday.
1:00 PM to 1:30 PM  "X-Play"  Repeat from the day before.
 1:30 PM to 2:00 PM "That's Tough".  A new?  show that counts down the "toughness" of various groups.  In this episode, it's Special Forces, Taxi Drivers, and Rites of Passage.  Sounds like it belongs on the Military Channel.
2:00 PM to 4:00 PM  "Campus PD"  Ostensiby, this is Cops on College.  Basically "Cops" who  can't even make an actual police force, patrol college's, and harass students.  More of it's "geek" centric programing, I suppose.
4:00 PM to 5:00 PM  "Cops"  YES, finally!  The most gamer-centric show of them all.  Full of inbreds, hicks, rednecks, and dumbasses.  As a general aside, most geeks/nerds/gamers somewhat respect the law, but really don't give a shit.  The "law" isn't so much as a device for protection, as it is a tool to keep people down.  Also, I know every Saturday night, from 8:00PM to 9:00 PM on Fox, ALL the gamers are watching Cops.  Yeah...
5:00 PM to 5:30 PM "Campus PD"  Great.
5:30 PM to 6:30 PM "Cops"  More greatness.
6:30 PM to 7:00 PM "X-Play" The new episode.  Morgan Webb is generally awful.  Adam Sessler is ok, when he's not spazzing out.  The show's bits/comedy don't work.  Yep...
7:00 PM to 8:00 PM "Attack of the Show"  Apparently, the cancerous Olivia Munn is off the show (to ruin the Daily Show), so that's a plus for this show, and a minus for The Daily Show.   Kevin Pereira is a bit spazzy also, but good.  Except for Alison Haislip, all the other women on the show (Kristin, Blair, Tiffany) are incredibly fake.  Haislip isn't much better, but she's decently crazy, so that's ok.  Olivia Munn is one of the worst people alive.   Also, she's the whore I mentioned above.  Only, she's the type of whore who doesn't put out.  Which, actually, makes her a bigger whore in the process.
8:00 PM to 10:00 PM "Cops"  Awesome, cause the past hour and a half just wasn't enough.
10:00 PM to 12:00 AM  "Heroes"  No one cares.  That's kind of why it was canceled.  
 
Yes, most of these shows just SCREAM geek-cred.  I know I start fingering my inhaler with nervous anticipation, and start  the "haXoring" whenever I know Cops is going to be shown.  Oh, wait "haXoring" is illegal, guess I won't do that.
 
You have to wonder if anyone at G4 is fucking paying attention, or if they give a shit at all.  G4 is among the lowest rated Cable networks around.  It's so low-rated, that DirecTV doesn't give a shit, and wants to yank it.  When a network has 6 and a half hours devoted to Campus PD, and Cops, that says a lot.  It says they don't  care.  So, honestly, why  should we?

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