You 69'ed My Gpa? - 3/17/13

Hello Friends

It has been nearly 2 years since my last blog post and I thought now would be a good time to check in. I have missed you all dearly and I still get an insatiable urge to bring myself to peak when laying in my cot at night...those goosebumps slowly rising as I apply my nightly creams.

With that being said, I would love to hear some updates from you guys! Whether it is about life or gaming, I truly miss hearing about all your endeavors and miss sharing mine. Anything I should be playing, watching or doing that you have sparked an interest in?

We're all getting milked by the corporate fat cats but I have the stamina not to cream...and you should too!

I am loving the attention independent games are getting these days. It's not as though I don't love something with high production value and a big company backing it (Uncharted series are probably my favorite games) but there is just something about the passion that goes behind these smaller games. It's just great to see that people are realizing a game can be a grower, not a show-er.

Don't let those big wigs in the sky scrapers make you ignore the hidden gems. As they sit in their office with their strobe light on, pants around their ankles, getting fellatio'ed beside their brief case of money...there is a 400 pound man, sitting at home, striving to make a game that will give you uncontrollable kegels for days on end.

I'm not telling you how to live your lives, as I know I am not one to judge but if you have not already, just give the lesser known a chance and I'm sure you will be pleasantly surprised.

So lonely on Twitter :(

Spending days on end editing hentai in a dark room can get to me and I would love to have some extra community interaction, as Giantbomb is blocked at my office. God bless you.

My Twitter

9 Comments

You 69'ed My Gpa? - 1/20/11

Limbo got me decently damp....

I know I'm a little late to the party but I recently fired up Limbo and I have to say, that game is pretty chilling. As many of you know, I'm one to prefer a more...Japanese XXX...art style...I still thought it was really well done. Did anyone else get the feeling that it has been set up to have a much bigger sequel (Portal 1 -> Portal 2)? Did that get announced? Is that already a thing? Am I brain dead? My apologies if I am...

I hate 3D movies/games more than the memories of my step dad!

Imagine this but three dimensional!

Why does it have to be like this? Why should I have to sit in a theater or on my couch with fucking shades on, all so I can see the jugs of Kathy Bates flying at my dome!? I already have enough self esteem issues with my minor case of elephantiasis and facial scars! It's all so ridiculous and ruining first dates! Dave, if you're reading this, please still find my inner beauty!

I really want it to just be some fad that jizzes out but it doesn't seem to be the case. They just won't let up with it and it makes me so sad.

How do you guys feel about 3D? If you're some fuck who likes it, please explain it to me...

I'm bringing my toaster to the bath tub if you don't follow me!

I'm dying for followers! Don't you love me? After all I have done for you and THIS IS HOW YOU FUCK ME OVER!?

Hit me up! :-) <3

P.S

Happy new year to all of you...I...I love you...

14 Comments

You 69'ed My Gpa? - 9/26/11

Listen to me or drink my lemon juice!

Why the fuck even bother with this motion gaming? That is the question I ask all of you. Why would I ever want to use the Kinect or Move? Who even fucking bought the move?! I literally live every day in fear that the next generation of consoles will have the main focus be Wii rip off technology. I just want to hold a controller, sit with a six pack of Black Label and not have to stand up! I mostly play on the PC but I still get veiny over consoles, from time to time and don't want them to be ruined...

This is how I envision Sony at an E3, showing off their new console. "Here we have our Sony Playstation 4 where you use your body to control the actions! Exclusive to Red Dead Redemption 2, our good friends at Sybian have designed us the Red Dead Saddle! I would now ask our demonstrator to hop on and slide in, so our great audience can see it in action....oh, don't forget your vibrating Move baton! Look how as he clenches his ass, the horse slows down and when he unclenches, the horse speeds up! What amazing technology!"

Some of you may find this a little extreme, but I envision this exact scenario in the not so distant future and you heard it here first. Again, the questions that I state are why bother with motion gaming? Does it excite you? Do you want it in gaming?

As always, I would be soaked if you followed me on twitter!

10 Comments

You 69'ed My Gpa? - 9/19/11

About this blog

Hello, my love children. I am here to let you know that I will never be leaving you again and have decided to start a weekly blog. You can expect it every Monday and for it to be filled to the brim with my creamy goodness. It will essentially just be a quick update on what I have been playing and maybe some random life tales, you all seem to enjoy those. I hope you get the loin soup over it and support me. :-)

Listen to me or drink my lemon juice!

Currently I have gone back and started playing Resident Evil 5 with GB's own, MrCool11. I feel like it is a game I should have beat a long time ago but better now than never, considering the RE4 HD remake is tomorrow and I can't explain how much I crave it. However, there doesn't seem to be a ridiculous amount of hype over it, which shocks me, the game is a classic.

One thing that I am quite surprised about with RE5 is the lacking of massive jugs. With the technology being the way it is today and the physics engines the way they are, I was expecting some big time jug physics. I mean, the closest thing we get to it is Excella Gionne and that's just not cutting it for me! You should be able to see her back brace under her dress, due to the crippling milk sacs in front of her!

I ask you these questions, GB

1. Are you excited for the RE4 remake or have you had your fix?

2. How do you feel about massive jugs in gaming and the physics that come with them?

I have twitter now...follow me <3

I have decided to start a twitter and would be soaked if you followed me! It would only motivate me further to becoming the biggest vein on the mass of flesh, muscle and spirit, that is the GB community!

16 Comments

Oh i69edUrGpa, why must you come and go like a flaky step dad?

I'm never leaving any of you again. Most of you probably don't remember who I am and this saddens me. I have been hidden away like a wet sock underneath your bed that you forget about, then it starts to stink and you realize it's there...AND THEN IT RISES FROM THE ASHES WITH A TINGE OF YELLOW, JUST LIKE THE LEMONS IN WHICH I LOVE!

None of you will ever understand my love for this community! It has a special place in my heart that nothing can replace. Which means my heart is essentially divided into two sections...Giantbomb and Dave.

I have decided on cumming back, bigger and better than EVER! due to the fact that I am finally healthy and meth free. If I were to start a twitter account, would I have the support of the community? Let me know in the comments and if you have no idea who I am, here are some links to catch you up.

A little introduction and a way to get to see the real me

Why I fucking love you guys

My intimate love letter to Dave

So....how are all of you? Catch me up to speed on what has been going on in your life! Any questions about mine? It has been one big roller coaster...

62 Comments

My big return that comes with tragic news...

As some of you may have noticed, I have not blogged in many months and my posting has been rather slow for a reason that breaks my heart. Many of you know that I am currently an intern at a Hentai production company. I love my job almost more than anything and it is the reason I get up in the morning. However, on January 23rd, I almost wish that I never did wake up. The morning was going as usual, I left my abode and hopped on my bike, ready for a good day of editing and critiquing animated erotica. I turned around the corner and to my horror, our small office building was in the midst of a blazing inferno, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. 
 
What was even more surprising was the fact that no one was around. I knew that I had to take action and attempt to save anyone inside. I ran up to the doors but was soon to realize that they were locked and part of the ceiling had collapsed in front of them, I had to find another way. I ran around to the back and to my horror, there was someone trying to climb out the window from the second floor. For privacy reasons I will not state his name but I will tell you that he was an extremely over weight male, all of his clothing was on fire and he was a beloved friend. I screamed for him to stop but it was too late, he let go of the ledge and fell about 20 feet to the ground bellow. I nearly fainted when it happened but I found the strength to run up to him and rip his flaming clothes off. I knelt beside him and with his last dying breath, he whispered to me "this fire was not an accident, the man who did it is inside. I want you to use my skin as protection from the fire, go inside and take his life, just as he took mine". He then closed his eyes and passed on. I couldn't help myself and bursted into tears but quickly I realized that I had to complete his last wish...I had to go inside...I had to kill this monster.
 
Without getting too graphic, I managed to apprehend my friends skin and drape it over myself, using it as a protective cloak from the flames. Using every ounce of strength in my body, I managed to kick down the back door and enter the hell that was our humble company office. I ran through the hall, the fire was everywhere and I could barely breathe. I crawled of the stairs and into my office when I saw him. He was an average sized individual, wearing what looked to be a full fire retardant suit, complete with a fireman's mask but what shocked me the most was the chainsaw he clutched in his right hand and the erection he stroked in his left. This man was clearly mentally ill and I knew that if I was to end his life, I had to get the weapon, it was now or never.
 
With as loud a battle scream as my smoke filled lungs could perform, I rose to my feet, jumped on his back and wrapped my arms around his neck. My attempts to strangle him did not work out as planned for I had underestimated his strength. He ran backwards as fast as he could and smashed me against the wall, shattering every rib I had. I fell to the floor in agony and to my horror, I heard the deafening roar of the chainsaw. As he lunged towards me, god decided to intervene and he tripped over a rubber fist that must have fell out of the drawer from my desk. I knew this was my only chance and I struggled to my feet. I slowly staggered over to where the man lay and the chainsaw waited. I picked up the weapon, slowly rose it over my head and plunged the spinning blade into his back. It was all I could do and instantly after, I blacked out.  
 
I awoke in a hospital bed and at the time, my memory was vague as to what had happened but as time went on, my memory returned and the nightmares began. I have not slept much over the past few months but my injuries are getting better and I am now back at home. At this time I am bed ridden and have little left to do but post on the forums that in times of need, act as a second home for me. I just thought I should inform everyone of what has happened, crushing any rumors that may have come from it. I hope that I am included in your prayers, as you are all in mine. I am looking forward to getting back to my regular posting and I hope to continue the relationships I have formed on this website.
 
God bless, i69edUrGpa

7 Comments

I LOVE YOU DAVE SNIDER

   For many months now I have grown an obsession. This obsession is for the man you all know, Dave Snider. There is just something about him that gives me goosebumps all over my naked body as I lay in my cot at night. I can't help myself but stare at those moist lips as he speaks to me so softly in my beloved Giant Bomb videos. I feel as though, over time, he would truly understand me and my alternative lifestyle. Dave, I would do anything for you, the second you say you want to be with me, I will quit my job at the hentai production company and move to San Fransisco. From what I hear, the bi-sexual community is quite embracing in those parts.
   I have a constant vision of our first date. I take you out to dinner where I give you a chance to escape the regular talk of video games and give you an opportunity to truly express yourself, free of judgment from your fellow employees. I then tell you of my hopes and dreams for our future. Most men would feel scared about such commitment on a first date but you take a warm comfort in my love. I then take you back to my apartment in my velvet interior Cadillac where I ask if you would like to come in for a drink and puzzle, you squirm nervously but accept the invitation. Our love would not take much longer to truly blossom. 
   We then lay by the fireplace, sipping our wine, telling stories and working away at a puzzle. I can't stand it anymore, you're too beautiful to resist. I pick up the puzzle and throw the cardboard into the fire, causing a blazing inferno, take your scruffy cheeks in my warm hands and kiss you. You then do the unthinkable and push away. Tears form in my eyes, I was so sure that you loved me. I go to run away but you grab my arm and tell me that you are just scared and want to take things slow, you reassure me that our love is true and someday, I will take your innocence. I smile and understand him, I know he loves me and we will be together until the end of time.
   So I have to ask you, Dave. Will you be with me? I know we can make things work and that everything will turn out right. Never have I had such strong feelings for a man before. I promise to the heavens that I shall never judge you and that I will always be by your side through thick and thin. At the very least, please let me know how you feel. Even if it's a no, I just need closure and a reason to move on.
 
I love you

25 Comments

The Anniversary of My Step Fathers Passing

     Hello my friends, I would like to take this time to shed light on a dark day in my life. Today is the 5th anniversary of my step fathers passing. I have been in mourning today and I feel like it will make things easier if I share my story with the community. I hope this will help some people also cope with the loss of a loved one.
     My step father was always a man with a bad temper but a good heart. One moment he was mopping up blood and puke off the kitchen floor and the next he was reading me and my brother a bed time story and tucking us in. This wasn't to say he would not take his anger out on me and my brother. One memory I have of his anger was him dragging me across the floor by my hair and smashing a lamp across the back of my brothers head and knocking him out...all because we questioned where he was all the night before.
     One person he never disrespected was my mother. She was rarely around and would come home and away for weeks and months at a time. When she returned, me and my brother would fall asleep to the moans and groans of what I assumed at time, was just them wrestling. There eventually came a day where my mother never returned but I shall save that tail for another blog and another day. 
     Once my mother left, my step father was never the same. He sat in the same chair every day after work and just stared into space. If either me or my brother asked if he was ok, he would become more infuriated than I could ever imagine. This was the cause of the day that changed my life forever. It was an early morning and my step father stayed home from work and sat in that same chair. My brother always worried much more than I did and asked if he was feeling alright. My step father slowly looked at him, got up,screamed "THIS HAS TO END!", picked up my brother and threw his petite body across the room, right into the drywall which he nearly went right through. I screamed and he turned to me. I tried to run but he quickly grabbed me and dragged me out to the car where he threw me in the trunk. We drove for several hours until the car came to a stop. He opened the trunk, holding an old hunting rifle that I had seen before in his closet. We were in an forest with the view of an old logging road through the trees. I then got pushed to the ground, he aimed the barrel at my temple and right before he was about to pull the trigger, there was a deafening bang and he was collapsed on the ground with half of a face. I looked up and there was an old hunter running towards me from the woods. I broke down into to tears and held my beloved step father in my arms. With his last dying breaths he said to me as clear as he could "Son, I don't know what came over me but I am sorry and will always love you". He then died. The nightmare was over and so was his life.
     I consider my step father a misunderstood man who just needed help. I am glad I have the opportunity to write this blog for I have always looked for people to share my story with and there is no one who has been more accepting to me than the GB Community. Thank you for reading my story and I love you all.
 
God Bless, i69edUrGpa

25 Comments

I Love You All

Hello everyone, I would just like to take this time to tell everyone in the GB Community how much I truly love you. Never have I been so embraced by a group of people in my lifetime. I believe we have both come to accept each other, even if I have been told that I have questionable posts but I still feel as though hentai has its place on this site. I have gone through some hardship in my life. I have been battling a bad meth addiction for many years and when I finally somewhat got back on my feet and became employed, I was robbed and shot. I am very lucky to be alive. I don't have a lot of family to help me through all of this but all of you have taken me in like a son and given me hope for a bright future.   
I am going to do all I can to make it up to you guys. I hope my posts and blogs inspire someone else in a similar situation to not give up and always have faith. Some of you have been negative towards me but that's o.k, I just want everyone to live their lives and be happy, which is exactly what I am trying to do right now. I think you will all be glad to know that I have completely recovered from my attack and recently got a job as an intern at one of the biggest North American Hentai production companies! It's the best job I have ever had, a positive environment and it keeps me out of trouble.  
So that's my blog for today everyone. I just wanted to do this because you all mean so much to me. You will all be in my prayers and dreams. Lets do our best to keep this a positive environment where no one is judged on sexual urges, questionable activities or controversial employment. That is what makes GB so great. The fact that everyone feels at home and in a state of bliss every time they log on for another day. 
  
God Bless, i69edUrGpa

114 Comments

Thoughts on profile picture

Hello everyone, I was wondering if I could get an opinion on my profile picture I have created. I tried to incorporate my love of the elderly, hentai and lemons. Any thoughts on how I could change it?
 



Other than that, there is not much going on in my simple little life. Still looking for Giant Bombers to PC Game with so add me on steam as "headgearman". Anyways, I love you all and as always, you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
 
God bless, i69edUrGpa

12 Comments
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