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Instruction manuals and the digital age

 You might have heard by now that Ubisoft is discontinuing the use of instruction manuals and will no longer be packing them alongside our games. If you can quell the outrage for a moment you might see that Ubisoft may be on to something. Alright, not really. But honestly, who uses those things anymore? Sure they’re nostalgic and yes, sometimes they explain things a little better that the in-game tutorials, but for the majority of the time they remain unused. While Ubisoft may have been the first to initiate this act, I don’t think there’s anyone else to blame but the digital age of gaming.  

No Caption Provided

What does going digital have to do with instruction manuals you ask? A whole hell of a lot actually. Twenty, even fifteen years ago, I don’t think you’d find anyone who’d believe digital distribution was the way of the future. Yet here we are and programs like Steam are very much present and reconstructing our pastime incredibly fast. It’s not just PC programs that are taking advantage of this either. All the current-gen consoles allow for downloadable titles and the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 go beyond that with full downloadable versions of retail games, giving you the ability to skip rushing out to the store all together. It’s called convenience and it’s changed the way games are made and distributed immensely.


Think about it, most present day games are built with tutorials and, given the type of game, often have various help and “how to” menus. If you still need more insight, I know that Steam definitely allows you to download manuals with ease but would you even bother? We don’t need the things; it’s just a luxury to have them around for the sake of nostalgia. Let’s face facts here, with more and more people pressing a button to download their games the less we need the physical attachments. Of course, if you’re one of those people who just like having the cases around or simply must have the special editions of certain games, nothing will keep you away from making the drive to the store and that’s just fine.

Despite digital distribution we can live with both worlds thriving, but the loss of the manuals, while sad, isn’t widespread yet and ultimately really isn’t that big of a deal.
 
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The Infinity Battle wages

 Since it seems to be the central focus of the gaming industry as of now, I guess I’ll weigh in on the Infinity Ward crisis. Because, you know, Activision hasn’t already received enough hate.
 

No Caption Provided

I can’t say I personally like Activision. Their games and the way they go about business troubles me. Bobby Kotick may be a loud mouth, pretentious and extremely arrogant business man, but that’s just it – Activision is a business. They utilize their strengths and focus on creating solid, well-known titles with little room for experimental ones. While that may be bothersome to the people, like me, who want more innovation than the same old experience, the path Activision follows has more of a conscience for business.

You never know what you’re going to get when you create a brand new game. Sometimes it can be a break-out success, other times it can fall completely into the chasm of atrocity. As I previously stated, I don’t care for the games Activision carries. Of the most popular, Tony Hawk has fallen completely off the grid, Guitar Hero may have instilled the music-game phenomenon but it’s severely punished by the quality of Rock Band, and Call of Duty has already begun the plummet into mediocrity. Of course, there’s plenty of working titles that look fun and perhaps some sequels that could propel themselves ahead of their predecessors, like Prototype, but I’m just not feeling it. I can play anything and I certainly look forward to being surprised by titles that appear to be soulless and devoid of any fun-factor, but there’s not a lot working for Activision in the games department right now. Especially after this news.

 The future of Infinity Ward?
 The future of Infinity Ward?


Following the dismissal of the Infinity Ward lead-duo Jason West and Vince Zampella, people were quick to accuse Activision of malicious activity. Honestly, I completely see why that’s true. Now, I’m ignorant on every minute detail that occurred that day, but according to the sources who poured the information to the media, Activision acted bullish by sending security over to the studio and was all hush-hush about it. My question is, why? Why would you dismiss the leads of one of the best selling game of all-time and put to risk the entire franchise? Obviously it would affect the studio as a whole and since they’re such a business-minded company, what could be the possible gains? Did they think they could slap random dude number three into the gaping holes and think the inevitable sequels would do just fine? They couldn’t have worked out a repair plan? I seriously don’t get it.

Business-wise, by eliminating your staff or in some way causing them to leave, you’re effectively shooting yourself in the foot. The good that comes out of this is that at least some of the other “lesser” talents in Infinity Ward will get a moment to shine now that they have a chance to move up the ladder. Even still, you can bet the next game in the franchise will suffer significant setbacks.

Funny thing, come to find out Infinity Ward was actually born from the demise of 2015 studios who was responsible for games like Medal of Honor. 2015 went out in a very similar way. Really, history seems to be repeating itself. Slowly but surely, key members of Infinity Ward are leaving and with Respawn coming into existence who knows what we’ll get.

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Koei, this is what Dynasty Warriors needs!

 

 And it begins...
 And it begins...
Dynasty Warriors has problems; loads of them. But like any faithful, scrupulous fan, I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve had countless hours of fun thwacking brain-dead oriental soldiers. Koei knows how to make an extremely addictive hack-and-slasher. Unfortunately they also know how to kill one… fast. It may seem too late for this vehemently used franchise to bounce back, but all it needs is a refresher and who better to spin it to them then a fellow warrior? 

Innovation isn’t something the Dynasty Warriors series is known for. As a matter of fact, it’s not known for a whole heck of a lot, except for maybe raw number of games churned out and the worst voice-acting of all time. Spanning more than 20 titles, you can only mash the same buttons so many times before you ask yourself the glorious question, “Haven’t I done this before?” That’s the biggest issue with the historical slasher; repetition. Now, all games commit to some form of repetition but Dynasty Warriors takes it to a whole different level. The best way to describe it fully is, if you played one game then you’ve pretty much played the others, albeit with slight and I mean slight variances.

 He's flipping, not flying.
 He's flipping, not flying.

Perhaps the best iteration of the series was the fifth installment, and for good reason. The major reason behind this is because you were able to move your character in any direction at any time during any attack. If you’ve never played a Dynasty Warriors game or never made it to that numerical value then let me make my jargon a little clearer. Picture an angry, gussied up, and most likely bearded officer who’s running toward a mob of petty soldiers. Once the officer hits a soldier, just one, with any of his attacks he’s locked into that one direction and will keep going that way until attacking is halted. In Layman’s, it’s like handing a ball off to your running back who’s facing the sideline and watching as he plows into the water boy and camera crew. Instead of making a play in an attempt to gain more yardage, our officer is forced into a direct path with nothing.

 Can you tell what version this  is?
 Can you tell what version this is?

The movement change in Dynasty Warriors 5 certainly changed the gameplay for the better, but Koei still hasn’t changed the stale animations and move sets of the playable officers. This means series veterans like Zhao Yun are still rocking the same special attacks and moves from previous installments. Sure, there have been minor tweaks here and there but the skills have remained largely unchanged. This is tricky because, like a fighting game, you alienate your fan-base if you overhaul the moves too much but then you’re criticized if you don’t change enough. The bottom line here is that Dynasty Warriors needs more useful moves and should follow in the footsteps of other hack-and-slashers that largely represent what the game already is. Take a look at Devil Kings, Capcom’s take on the DW formula. The game was largely inferior but presented some great ideas like custom special attacks. Hold R1 and tap square to do a special move like blasting out a small shockwave. Even Samurai Warriors triangle combo system built upon the conventional square system to allow more variety. While seeing old abilities is nice, Koei must expand upon this and give their fans moves that don’t suck. It’s about damn time Xiahou Yuan and Huang Zhong didn’t share the same garbage special attack.

It doesn’t help either that the game has the most brain-dead AI I’ve ever witnessed. You could literally stand in a crowd, set your controller down, and a few minutes later still walk out alive. It’s nice to send droves of soldiers flying back several hundred feet every few seconds, but the challenge, if you can even call it that, only presents itself when a much stronger officer appears. I’m not asking for F.E.A.R. type AI here. If that was the case your ass would be vaporized by the first three dudes with bows.  I’d like to see enemies react at least a little more realistically to what’s going on around them. Devil Kings did it right in the sense that when you vanquished a leader all their followers began stumbling around and became significantly weaker as they tried to run away. Dynasty Warriors’ soldiers just stare at you blankly, pick up their gear and take off to erratic point B.

 Who the hell is this? Wait,  that's Gan Ning!?
 Who the hell is this? Wait, that's Gan Ning!?


Offering to bolster the AI does provide some challenges as it could possibly alter the accessibility of the game in an egregious way. Creating a more heavy-handed approach means it wouldn’t be as fun cutting a swath through the sieve-like defenses of enemies units. Regardless, Koei can definitely make improvements so the battlefield doesn’t look like a bunch of retards holding sticks.   All this, though, would be infinitely better if Koei actually implemented some type of multiplayer element into the fold. With the modernization of the internet to this generation of consoles, we’re seeing a tremendous amount of co-op and multiplayer games shipped with every title. Dynasty Warriors has always had a strong point with co-op and it’s a feature of every game. Why then does Koei refuse to do a standard online multiplayer approach? Allow friends to join via split-screen or over the PSN/Xbox Live. The absence of this feature is completely baffling and further exemplifies my point that Koei needs to change things up.

Through all of this I’ve said that Koei hasn’t changed anything; that isn’t exactly true. Technically, Dynasty Warriors 6 and Strike Force were the complete overhauls I’ve been begging for… only horrendous in the worst of ways. Dynasty Warriors 6 changed the entire game and along with it all the characters we’ve come to appreciate. I applauded the effort for change, but they seriously took everything and, for lack of a better description, vomited on it. For instance, Gan Ning, the Wu pirate signified by his long-ass sword, tattoos, and heinous running special attack were replaced by a dude with poofy anime hair and daggers. That’s not Gan Ning. Also, for reasons I still cannot truly explain, the emphasis on striking and blowing opponents away had no real weight behind them. After a single battle I felt as though my enemies were made of foam and feathers. 

 This is Strikeforce's SUPER MEGA MODE! WOAH!
 This is Strikeforce's SUPER MEGA MODE! WOAH!


Strike Force showed how anti-climactic normal fights could be and how our powerful current-gen systems still chugged while running the game. To make matters far worse, you could even morph into a super dude which looked like something straight out of Dragon Ball Z. The coup de grace though, flying. That’s right, you could fly. I’m done here.

There are so many things Koei could do to bring the luster back to such a crippled series, it’s almost endless. My advice, keep up with the times and know your roots. We don’t need a Gan Ning throwing energy beams and charging his power level to over 9,000. And we definitely don’t need any historical Chinese warriors who can fly.
 
 
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What Gears of War 3 needs to succeed

 Gears of War 3 is happening, no one can deny that. However, Epic would do well to listen to fans and critics of their last installment to prevent further backlash and insults to their famed franchise. Mainly, they should listen to me. Gears of War 2 was in fact, a great game, but it suffered from a myriad of issues along with embarrassing technical flaws that prevented it from reaching perfection. Being the fan that I am, here’s some things Epic must touch down on in order to achieve greater success with the third installment’s multiplayer.

Online Functionality

Think you won with your 22 kills? Disconnected! How do you feel now?

The meat of Gears has and always will be the multiplayer component. Why then did Gears 2 struggle with it so badly? When the game shipped the multiplayer was all but broken. Unless you had a full party of five it could take an upwards of 15 minutes to find a single match. Not only that but if you happened upon a rather vindictive host they’d simply disconnect at the end of the match and render everything you just did meaningless. There’s nothing worse than waiting for eons to play the game only to have your session cut short and effectively erased by some dude who couldn’t take a loss.

Suggestions

It didn’t take long for Epic to patch Gears 2 to make the matchmaking smoother and you can bet Gears 3 won’t suffer from this. There simply isn’t an excuse for it not to work. To combat the host quitting problem, Epic needs to take from systems that work. Halo and Call of Duty have had host migration features and it’s time Gears followed suit. Also, if there’s going to be a leveling system or some type of experienced based process involved with the online gameplay, Epic needs to make sure it’s not half-assed this time around. If you remember, Gears 2 didn’t even ship with the 100 level system you currently see. Give it some love Epic, not an afterthought and for the love of everything that’s online, put a damned mark next to the guy who has host!

Weaponry

So I guess the mighty Hammer of Dawn is stopped by a flagpole. Awesome.

The Hammer of Dawn AKA Mr. Unreliable
The Hammer of Dawn AKA Mr. Unreliable

The weapons in Gears are amazing. Practically every single one has its uses and they’re all designed rather well. Unfortunately, when put to use, more often than not, you witness things that just don’t seem right. The Boom Shield is an excellent example of a “weapon” that seems good on paper but fails in a multitude of ways. It could be used to glitch through walls and more annoyingly, wield two-handed weapons you normally couldn’t. Even if you were using it in a logical sense, you’re slow and it’s

completely useless against overwhelmingly powerful weapons like the Torque Bow. Other weapons like the Boom Shot sometimes explode right on target and don’t commit an ounce of damage to the enemy. Even grenades detonate on top of people and sometimes don’t scatter them into bloody chunks. But the king of inconsistency in Gears 2 was the shotgun. When the game shipped, unless you were the host, you couldn’t fire it from the hip. If you did your bullets would immediately hit the ground in front of you. Besides that, sometimes you could deal immense damage at ridiculously long range and sometimes point-blank blasts would do nothing. This inconsistency in weapons is aggravating and makes it tough to concede that you should have been killed there.

Suggestions

Besides making certain weapons more consistent, Epic needs to sit down and think about the implementation of other weapon mechanics. Grenade mines, for instance, changed the way grenades were used. Are they going to keep them the way they are now or perhaps eliminate them altogether? I’m indifferent about the mine thing, but once again, I’d have a better feeling if they were more consistent. Something like the shotgun being broken when the game shipped is unforgiveable and embarrassing but I doubt it’ll happen this time around. Here are some of the things Epic should be tweaking weapon-wise:

Boom Shield: Fix the glitches and make it viable in combat. Wouldn’t you rather have people hang onto it rather than ditch it at the first sign of a torque or boom?

Boom Shot: two shots are plenty, but the explosions need to be effective. There’s no reason someone shouldn’t explode when I hit them with a shot directly or very close by.

Grenades: a certain number spawn each round, that’s it. This would eliminate hoarding and turtling.

Grenade Mines: first they were too brittle, now they’re too strong. Find a happy medium for these things and make them more consistent when they blow.

Hammer of Dawn: the ammo for it is fine, but quit with the gimmicks. Having a super-laser get stuck on a flagpole is stupid and having it on maps like Tyro Station where there are poles everywhere is asinine.

Ink Grenades: Love the idea behind these things but sometimes you’ll be standing away from the cloud and it’ll still hurt you. Fix it!

Lancer: The iconic weapon in the Gears universe is also one of most problematic in the second game. You used to be able to walk through a hail of bullets and still massacre your opponent with the chainsaw, but it’s been semi-fixed. It’s still inconsistent and that’s a problem.

Scorcher: Another weapon I love, but this thing sometimes works too well and then other times it’s not worth a damn. How does a constant stream of fire not down someone? Oh, right it was lag wasn’t it?

Smoke Grenades: At first these things were a pain in the ass. You’d go down for 20 minutes but then they were fixed and awesome. Having that certain timer on getting up was a great move but then you took away being knocked down which also took away their usefulness. Bring back the short concussion or eliminate these.

Patches

Hmm, should we make the Boom Shot fire lasers in this one?

Patches are something that is necessary in this day and age. Like it or not, certain undiscovered problems can pop up at any time and the wonderful patch can clear them up. However, using patches to treat your customers and game like one giant experiment is awful. Gears 2 went through several updates that constantly tweaked, untweaked, and retweaked everything. Don’t they have places to test this stuff before it goes live?

Suggestions

Gears 3 should definitely get the support Epic has shown for the second game, but not entirely in that way. Constantly shifting what weapons and mechanics do puts people off, especially if they play the game all the time. The best thing I can say here is to thoroughly test out the changes before making them live, thus circumventing the issues in Gears 2.

Team-Killing

BAM said the lady!

In the first game you could actually select whether team-killing was a function or not. In Gears 2 it’s not an option in matchmaking. I understand why this is, but if Halo and Call of Duty can do it why can’t a tactical game like Gears? There’d obviously be penalties but I’m sick and tired of people just throwing endless amounts of grenades in where the fighting is at. I mean, how does that even make sense? All your teammates can run through the Ink cloud but you, since you threw it, can’t make it. The game would be much harder and therefore more tactical, but above all, it’d get rid of some of the nonsense I see every day.

Combat

He’s in my sights. Keep him there. HEADSH… What!? He wasn’t even moving!

Can you tell if you're hurting him or not? Not.
Can you tell if you're hurting him or not? Not.

This is more about quirks and lacking features I’ve experienced while playing. Compared to the first game, the executions are definitely more varied but not as satisfying. Now turning a guy over and giving him the ole’ one, two is definitely gratifying but during some executions there aren’t any sounds at all. When you melee certain dudes, sometimes no audio plays at all. Even when they’re crawling across the ground and you tap the B button, it’s so anticlimactic I almost wish I could rewind time and do a different execution. Also, in the first game you could save people from the dreaded curb stomp. In Gears 2, once the animation has begun there’s no saving your comrade; even if the enemy hasn’t touched your friend it doesn’t matter. Oh, and it’s also really annoying that the A button does so many things. If you’ve ever rolled passed a guy you were trying to pick up as a meat shield, you know what I’m talking about.

Suggestions

Switching the button that picks people up as a meat shield is definitely something I’d like to see. As far as sounds and executions go, I’d like to see more of those as well. Particularly though, I’d love to see the return of the stun if you’re shot while meleeing. In the first game, if you were reving your chainsaw or meleeing and were hit with a bullet, you’d end up taking a step backwards, ie be stunned for a moment. Epic took this out of Gears 2 and I think with the implementation of it in the third, it’d change many a thing. Epic could also do some tweaking to the hit boxes as they tend to be pretty inaccurate. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve shot someone in the head, or what appeared to be their head, only to have them shout in pain and move on.

Class and Weapon

You have to hit the head, I on the other hand, can shoot anywhere I please and BOOM!

This is something I’ve had various conversations about with quite a lot of people. Gears sticks to the old style of running to certain locations on the map where specific weapons spawn. This system works but the issue with Gears is that, for one, you only have one life that round, and two, sometimes you’ll never get it. I’m sick and tired of people online not sharing weapons and making mad dashes for the torque bow so they can get the most kills. Their defense is often, “No one else is good with it.” Well that’s because all the other people can never pick it up! Playing online is completely different than the campaign and if people aren’t willing to share or be team players it’s very hard to immerse yourself in the game when you’re stuck with the bare essentials.

I don’t know how they’d do it but I propose shifting their system to a more Call of Duty-esque approach. Obviously not everyone could start with Torque bows since that’d be ridiculous, but something has got to change. Gears is already very tactical and very team oriented but I think it could get a whole lot better, especially for the people who just want to jump in and play, if they’re able to select or achieve certain weapons during the match. Sure you’d still have the lone gunmen from time to time, but at least people are able to grab things they want so they can have a good time. Having Xx SniperLordz xX hurdle to the sniper every single time and doing nothing with it gets old fast.

Closing

I’m sure there’s many more things Epic could touch on to make the game supreme, but I’ve covered practically everything that I’d like see shifted a little in the third installment. Hopefully Gears 3 will be a much more ironed and thought out experience. I know it will if Epic just takes the time to listen.

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Can there ever be a "greatest game?"

 

What do you consider the greatest game of all-time? This question has sparked a savage, endless debate that will undoubtedly come to a conclusion when the sun can be contained inside a tuna can. I’ve often asked myself this question only to find myself torn between games of separate generations. This comparison, I found, simply cannot be resolved by fact nor opinion.

It’s a strange beast, but when thinking about it I don’t feel there needs to be a best game of all time in the numerical spot of one. Even if a title helped spark the gaming addiction that has swept the globe, it doesn’t mean it’s the definitive experience to represent everything. Too often do I see two exclusive titles going head to head that share similarities in only genre or maybe even less than that. If a game has given us something awesome then it deserves to be shared and spoken about. If a game gives us something unforgettable then it deserves to be immortalized.

 Oh the nostalgia
 Oh the nostalgia

Take, for instance, the Legend of Zelda series. Link’s battle against Ganon and his dark forces have been with us since the NES days and are responsible for propelling excellence to untold heights. Zelda showed us how an action/adventure game was done and as the series progressed with technology, it steadily grew better and better. But looking back, Zelda on the NES is unplayable today. There are design flaws and mechanics that would do nothing less than frustrate you into looking up what to do next. I remember toward the end of the game there’s a hidden dungeon you need to locate. However, there are no hints or any suggestions as to where it might be found. You could spend hours trying to find this place and to no avail. What I’m trying to say is that Zelda should very well be noted for its importance to gaming, but should a game that suffers from such archaic gameplay mechanics be hailed as one of the greatest games of all time?

 Is Half-Life better than Tekken? Wait, what?
 Is Half-Life better than Tekken? Wait, what?

Yes. Zelda NES was a lot of fun back in the day and, as I said, it was responsible for the tremendous upbringing of other excellent action/adventure games. But there’s a difference between the most fun and addictive experiences and the titles who defined the medium with technology or other revolutionary mechanics. Zelda was not the most fun game ever, but for what it did it should be awarded. Contesting these separate categories should never happen because the games they deal with are too different, especially if they were made in completely different generations. Take BioWare’s widely praised Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn. It’s one of my favorite games ever and look at how it influenced other titles like their own Mass Effect series. Should Baldur’s Gate be credited with the better game title because it came first? Should it automatically be placed higher than Mass Effect in any list they’re both thrust into? Of course not.

I could sit here right now and list off a large number of games I consider the best that’s ever been; you may agree with it and then you may not. Everything’s an opinion and that’s NOT a bad thing. Games, websites, critics, everything needs an opinion and it’s up to you to filter them out in order to establish a connection with the ones who resonate with you most. These lists aren’t going to go away and they don’t need to. It may make you upset that your favorite game didn’t get the top spot, but like college basketball rankings, it means little. It’s just what some people think and it’s there to cause discussion. There’s no real way to tell if Half-Life is that much better than Zelda. For me, Half-Life may be a much more fun game since it’s more modern, but once again you simply cannot take away what that damned Zelda game did.

So many games have given to the industry and all in their own individual ways. There is no “best game ever” and there likely never will be. Comparing Tekken Tag Tournament to Chrono Trigger for that top spot is just asinine and if it must be done, make sure it has relevance.

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In case you were unaware, Final Fantasy XIII is coming out.

 In case you were unaware, Final Fantasy XIII is on its way. You know, the acclaimed series that’s sold over 85 million copies? I’ve been a Final Fantasy fan since its inception on the NES and with the inaugural game on the PS3/Xbox 360 just weeks away I’m worried. I’m worried because the proverbial hook that I’ve been so inclined to follow has lost its hold over me.

 
 "Hi, my name is Lightning. What's yours?"
Those mad scientists over at Square-Enix have toyed with the Final Fantasy formula for some time now. Tweaking and reform are all instrumental and necessary for a series to truly become great (something only Koei has yet to figure out) but I believe Square has done more than enough. Ever since they felt the need to create a true sequel with X-2, force the MMO genre with XI, and move more toward seamless turn-based gameplay in XII, I’ve been lost. Yet every time a game gets announced I mechanically purchase them thinking they will one day miraculously captivate me. This stops with XIII.

Maybe it’s because I’m sick of Japanese character design, maybe I just can’t resonate with the characters, perhaps seeing Bahamut “transform” analogous to Optimus Prime induces vomit in the back of my throat, maybe it’s all of these. After seeing XIII in action I can tell you that it’s a technological masterpiece. If you aren’t blown away by the frantic acrobatics and surreal magic, then you will be by the unprecedented visuals. They may be second to none but unless you base your purchases on visual quality alone, I’d advise to do some research. The combat, summons, and characters have similar qualities to the other installments, but it’s mostly superficial.

 Maybe she wouldn't be so mad if he cut that fro ya know?
 Maybe she wouldn't be so mad if he cut that fro ya know?
One thing I’ve hung on since witnessing the game is the new form of combat. XIII’s combat system is derived from XII in that it’s all seamless and fast-paced. What happened to the superior system X instilled? There wasn’t anything wrong with it and in my opinion is the best of the series. Saying that, if what I saw is true to the final product I’ll never get past the duration. Does it really take five minutes to take down four goblins? Final Fantasy has never been realistic as far as damage goes and it doesn’t have to be. However, when you have lightning guns blazing and cascades of magic raining down on these insipid creatures how long do you expect it to take? I especially hate this whole over the top approach to doing anything. How many flips can I do before I hit the enemy once? If you think I’m exaggerating, get ready.

What would Final Fantasy be without summoning? One simple and lonely shell of its former self. Thankfully summons are definitely present in XIII, but have one glaring issue I just cannot let slide; they’re ostensibly transformers. Yes, what I said above was not an exaggeration. Bumblebee is in Final Fantasy XIII. Alright, that was exaggerated but classic summons like Bahamut rotating just as the Transformers do and all of a sudden shifting into a different form is not. If you’re like me, when you first bear witness to this fabrication, your jaw will hang open and then the tears of sadness will commence. I just hope that maybe only a few summons suffer from this status ailment, but there I go again defending something I know won’t happen.

 That's a dude.
 That's a dude.
What can I say about Japanese character creation? It’s cliché, it’s strange, and I’m sick of it. Just think of an outfit that doesn’t fit, give it multiple colors, fish-nets, spikes, ribbons, and you’re set. Whenever I see one of these guys my eyes catch on fire. I feel like Square reached into a grab-bag and pulled out the design thinking it was “super awesome.” It probably wouldn’t bother me so much if I actually cared about the characters. What happened to that loving cast in VI where everyone’s story was entirely captivating? What about the twists and challenges the cast of VII took? How about the relationships that were forged in X and how they were dealt with? Here’s to hoping XIII can pull it off but it’s not looking good with a hair-feathered dude named Hope. You heard me right.

I’m harping on the world-renowned series yes, but understand that it’s all coming from a hardcore follower. There’s nothing I’d rather see than the success of XIII but all the warning signals I’ve seen cannot be denied. It’s all looking like some graphically superior super-anime with wings made of rainbow steel and laser-cannons that do several giga-tons of… alright I’ll stop.
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Weight in certain games

I’ve been increasingly annoyed as of late by something in both multi and single player games. Now this may sound asinine but it’s definitely peculiar and definitely aggravating. I’m talking about that paper feeling you get when shooting someone, that buoyant resonance when you strike your foes back with a mighty axe, that feathery and fluffy behemoth body who only moments ago was taking out buildings by merely sneezing. Weight! Where are you? You’ve been unkind and you’re ruining the experience.

Weight has a significant place in games, especially the contemporary ones. It gives games atmosphere and when implemented correctly even affects gameplay. Weight is something that has transformed the way gameplay feels. How your punch lands on that goon and his reaction directly impacts your gaming experience. There’s nothing stranger and more unsatisfying than feeling nothing for the feats you commit. Not every game suffers from this heinous oddity, but enough do for the experience to be adversely affected.

No Caption Provided

Let’s start with a big one, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Yes it’s sold more copies than possibly fathomable and it’s definitely a quality title but it has a glaring issue; the men are made of paper. You see, Modern Warfare 2’s mainstay is in its multiplayer component and that’s where the people are. For whatever reason, upon hitting your target it feels as though you just shot up your pack of loose-leaf paper. Why this is I haven’t got a clue. These are ample bodies full of meat and mixed with armor and other bullet-levying garb. I mean, I recently let loose 30 rounds of M4A1 anger and that guy still didn’t die. That alone is a whole different conversation but shouldn’t there be some type of weight to the people you shoot? The last time I checked our soldiers aren’t hollowed out shells or balloons. There are a lot of bullets flying around in this game and if I’m playing I don’t want the satisfaction coming solely from ubiquitous, flying numbers. I want that feeling of hitting something with a purpose, not something that’s going to collapse into a dust cloud.

 Fly away you paper soldiers!
 Fly away you paper soldiers!

Sometimes games learn from their mistakes, sometimes sequels expand upon a tried and true formula with winning new ideas. Dynasty Warriors is not one of those games. As an avid fan of the series (whose best game was the fifth) I can tell you that as the series stretches on the worse it gets. After playing the sixth installment and a few after, one of these all-encompassing problems is simply put; heft. The warriors of the Three Kingdoms can wield the mightiest of weapons and unleash the most explosive abilities ever conceived. Unfortunately, that mighty sword you’re wielding may as well be a very long straw and the people you’re whacking… obviously made of cotton. When your game’s primary function is equivalent to tending your oxygen garden you know there’s a problem. It never used to be like this, but as long as I feel the resistance of bubbles when swinging a giga-axe there’s no pleasing anyone.

Even Epic’s mighty Gears of War series isn’t safe from weightlessness. Unless you’re one of three people who haven’t played the original game you’d remember the stone-solid wrecking balls that are the Berserkers. These things would barrel toward you with an unstoppable force and destroy stone pillars like they were baby hamsters. Bullets, grenades, practically everything with the exception of a space laser (aka Hammer of Dawn) would have absolutely no effect on them. Why then after you take them down can they be moved around like limp, fluffy teddy bears? What happened to the unprecedented power and toughness? And it’s not just Berserkers from the first game; the featherweight attribute is distributed amongst the entire heavy Locust legion in the second game. There’s nothing like taking down multiple Bloodmounts and Butchers and then shuffling them around like hockey pucks. Suddenly, that adrenaline filled moment that was so awesome becomes somewhat of a let-down because your adversaries are just really, really ugly teddies.

 Looks heavy but you could move him with your pinky.
 Looks heavy but you could move him with your pinky.

While there’s plenty more examples of defective weight in games there’s a large amount of titles who utilize the function well. Half-Life 2 instituted real weight, physics based puzzles that seemed otherworldly when it was released. Even Simon Belmont of the original Castlevania had weight. Just walk off an edge of anything and watch as Simon is tugged to the depths by invisible anvils attached to his feet. Weight means a lot and with it games seem to carry more meaning and better gameplay. So developers, do yourself and us a favor – give your game some heft.

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Upset, but still going to buy at least one!

SCII is going to be a huge hit. This comes as no surprise to those of you who know anything about video games. However, do I believe that Blizzard is going to have you pay $150 for the total package? Fat chance.

The original SC had 32 missions total and now Blizzard has stated that each campaign will consist of at least 30 missions. Whichever version you buy (Terran will hit first) makes no difference to the multiplayer component, it really only makes the difference when it comes to playing the single player. Still, this does not justify the fabled $50 price tag for each game.

Blizzard. We've been waiting a decade for this game and now you're going to make us pay for the very story-driven content that made us love the first game so dearly? I understand micro-transactions and how they're taking over, but if you're going to charge an extra price (along with a year's time) for single player content then make it downloadable and at a bargain price.

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