I am still wrapping my head around gender politics as well. Like how being gender non-conforming or non-binary relates to being trans. If gender is only performative then why do people transition? Why do they say they just feel 'better' after the transition or feel like the real them? Are they just trying to fit society's idea of what they should be? Or is there an intrinsic benefit for them?
Honestly for you I would post in a forum for people transitioning and ask these kinds of questions well...the last few paragraphs at least. But maybe people have some books for you to read. Otherwise the idlethumbs forum or the Waypoint forum might be better to ask the difference between being gender non-conforming and transitioning.
For me personally, If you think being male is a construct then being female is a construct too, then why would it matter what genitals you have? So yeah, I would ask some advice from some trans people before deciding to transition.
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