1 Post

I've had a lot of people ask me, "jakob187, why do you only have 1 post when I see you trolling the fuck out of the forums"?  Usually I'll answer this with some silly bullshit like "because my posts are better than yours" or "because your mom" or whatever I can come up with (which is typically not as funny as my face in the mirror).

Either way, here's your explanation, folks:

It's glitched.

Simple as that.  When I signed up for GB, apparently it was on the same day as the summer solstice coming around while the Wicker Man festival was starting and I was listening to Green Day's Dookie backwards while watching Breakfast at Tiffany's...or something along those lines.  In turn, there was a freak electrical shock accident very much akin to Mel Gibson's in What Women Want (minus the whole dress-up shtick...I don't go out like that) and VWA-LA!  I only get 1 post.  I was at 0 posts for a long time, but I guess Jeff or Ryan or maybe even Snide (I know he's out to get me) tripped over the wrong cord that was keeping my posts from rising...and in turn, I got 1 post somehow.  I've begged for them to take it away, but they won't.  Well, they say they CAN'T...but I don't believe that.  = D

And honestly, I LIKE having no posts showing.  There are plenty of post whores on any forum board, and I like knowing that when I post, it's not because I'm trying to achieve a fucking number.  I don't even really want points.  Sure, it would be nice to do live edits, but whatever.  I'm cool with the mods looking through it (although I sadly don't contribute much and the mods probably hate having to approve shit).  If anything, I get messages from them and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

So you guys can continue to enjoy your post whoring and your numbers.  I'm hoping mine never rises.  If it does...I might just have to stop coming here.  o.O

Piece, fools.  Until next time...
31 Comments
32 Comments
Posted by jakob187

I've had a lot of people ask me, "jakob187, why do you only have 1 post when I see you trolling the fuck out of the forums"?  Usually I'll answer this with some silly bullshit like "because my posts are better than yours" or "because your mom" or whatever I can come up with (which is typically not as funny as my face in the mirror).

Either way, here's your explanation, folks:

It's glitched.

Simple as that.  When I signed up for GB, apparently it was on the same day as the summer solstice coming around while the Wicker Man festival was starting and I was listening to Green Day's Dookie backwards while watching Breakfast at Tiffany's...or something along those lines.  In turn, there was a freak electrical shock accident very much akin to Mel Gibson's in What Women Want (minus the whole dress-up shtick...I don't go out like that) and VWA-LA!  I only get 1 post.  I was at 0 posts for a long time, but I guess Jeff or Ryan or maybe even Snide (I know he's out to get me) tripped over the wrong cord that was keeping my posts from rising...and in turn, I got 1 post somehow.  I've begged for them to take it away, but they won't.  Well, they say they CAN'T...but I don't believe that.  = D

And honestly, I LIKE having no posts showing.  There are plenty of post whores on any forum board, and I like knowing that when I post, it's not because I'm trying to achieve a fucking number.  I don't even really want points.  Sure, it would be nice to do live edits, but whatever.  I'm cool with the mods looking through it (although I sadly don't contribute much and the mods probably hate having to approve shit).  If anything, I get messages from them and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

So you guys can continue to enjoy your post whoring and your numbers.  I'm hoping mine never rises.  If it does...I might just have to stop coming here.  o.O

Piece, fools.  Until next time...
Posted by breton

I see 4.

Posted by DualReaver

It's at 4 posts.

Posted by LordAndrew

Four posts. That's what you get for posting too much.

Posted by samcotts

6, 7, it's on the rise.

Posted by LordAndrew

Haha. It's starting to work properly. Now instead of being a glitch victim, he's a n00b.

Posted by jakob187

.............................muthafucker..........................

Posted by banned8921
jakob187 said:
".............................muthafucker.........................."
mwahahahaahahahahahah
Edited by jakob187

Now I'm afraid to post...

MAXWELL!!!  SNIDE!!!  ETHAN!!!  SOMEONE, PLEASE FIX MY PROFILE SO I DON'T GET ANYMORE POSTS!!!
Posted by LordAndrew

One of us. One of us. One of us.

Posted by AaronBelfast

Epic thread. Half the time the post count doesn't even work for me aswell. I admit it, I emailed a message to Snide saying the post count is broken. But in reality I don't actually care about my post count, just wanted to let the guy know.

Posted by Karmum

Eight, I don't see One.

Posted by AaronBelfast
Karmum said:
"Eight, I don't see One."
5,483? Post whore.
Posted by jakob187

Sitting on 9 now.  Here's how it feels:

fucking shitty
Posted by DualReaver

And... 3,000, I guess I should go outside now.

Edited by lamegame621

jakob, you a postin-ass muddafuckah.

I mean that in the best way possible.

Posted by MB

Maybe the system only counts posts that are actually worth reading?  I kid dude, I kid.  =P

Moderator
Posted by Lies
MB said:
"Maybe the system only counts posts that are actually worth reading?  I kid dude, I kid.  =P"
No he doesn't.
Posted by lamegame621
MB said:
"Maybe the system only counts posts that are actually worth reading?  I kid dude, I kid.  =P"
lol. good stuff.
Posted by Discorsi

lol money

Posted by TheGTAvaccine

OWN UP

Posted by MattyFTM
MB said:
"Maybe the system only counts posts that are actually worth reading?  I kid dude, I kid.  =P"
Nah, It's at 20 now, and Jakob definitely hasn't got 20 posts worth reading.
Moderator
Posted by Snail

I remember when you had 0 and that was unique. I am afraid 20 is not!

Posted by Jayge_
MattyFTM said:
"MB said:
"Maybe the system only counts posts that are actually worth reading?  I kid dude, I kid.  =P"
Nah, It's at 20 now, and Jakob definitely hasn't got 20 posts worth reading."
*insert laughing emote here*
Posted by jakob187

Shit, I don't even have 3 posts worth reading?  Who are you trying to kid, Matty?!

Posted by Jayge_

22 posts now.

Posted by Kush

Already up to 29...it's rising fast!

Posted by MattyFTM

32

Moderator
Edited by Snail

35. The first impression you get when looking at your post count is that you're a newbie.

EDIT: The new guy with 0 posts. Deal with it Jakob.
Posted by MasturbatingBear

35? I bet Brukaru or whatever his name is is going to come in here again and say he envys your 1 post count and wishes for a system to turn it off, even though it is pointless.

Posted by jakob187

Bru...is a chick, Bear.

Also, I've given up.  Obviously, it was just my time to finally melt into the community.  *sigh*  Now I'm just another GB'er.  Nothing special anymore.  =  (
Posted by Roger_Klotz

Now your one of us.
Don't you feel just so happy! :D