The "I Didn't Play Last of Us So Deal With It" jakob187 Top Eight Games of 2013

From 8 to 1...because 8 is the new 10, and by that, I mean that 10 is inferior and 8 is superior because it forms two circles that make the sign for infinity, thus meaning that this list is infinitely better than any other list (including


despite him believing that all other lists are bullshit).


In all honesty, I just haven't played much this year. I started a bunch of games, but I never really finished many of them to get a good idea of whether I thought they were fucking awesome. Then again, since I didn't finish them, that might be a call of judgment in its own right.

So here it is, my obligatory pretentious belief that my choices are superior to yours...

8. Diablo III (console version)

Diablo III on PC was corrupted and turned into some awful after the now infamous 1.03 patch launch. I hadn't looked back at it since that time. There were so many issues that I took with that game that I felt I could never forgive it.

Then the console release happened... It made me go back and take a look at the game in its current state...and it has been improved greatly. I feel that the console version of D3 is exactly the D3 I remember playing in its very early life, the one that I enjoyed. I didn't get very far with it, but I can easily say that it's a great representation of the game for people interested in ARPGs on console and keep waiting with baited breath for Snowblind to come back and do another Norrath game or something. This will definitely whet your appetite.


7. Magic 2014: Duels of the Planeswalkers

Honestly, it's still MTG. There are tons of cards for you to sift through, build a deck, and then play with said deck. However, the new addition of sealed deck play brings another degree to the madness of deck building and multiplayer. The game DOES keep things fairly basic in terms of the cards you can get and the strategies you could employ in building your deck. However, if you've ever wanted to just try out Magic, learn how it's played, or maybe just kill some time, M14 is a great way to fulfill all those needs.


6. Wordament

It's a dumb puzzle game and it didn't even come out this year. However, I just discovered it this year, thanks in part to my conversion to Windows Phone. Wordament does what I feel many other word games don't: they know how to make you feel like the smartest person alive and the biggest idiot in the existence of the world. The rules are simple: make as many words as possible out of letters placed on some tiles within a certain time limit. The thing that makes it addictive as hell? Every one of these rounds is played by anyone else in the world playing the game, and at the end of the round, you see where you ranked in terms of overall score. You are also conveniently presented with a list of words that you could have created...and at both of these points, you will slap your palm to forehead and say things like "I'm fucking stupid, how did I miss that word?" or "these muthafuckers HAVE to be cheating." I should point out that I DID try cheating at the game with one of the many various websites that will list out every word you could make from the tiles...and I would actually do WORSE than if I was just doing it freestyle. It's that weird mixture of achieving and shaming that made this game incredibly difficult to stop playing.


5. Shadow Man

Shadow Man is on this list because fuck you. That's why. It was recently re-released through Steam and, and my love for this game knows no bounds. Sure, the controller support is wonky as balls and the graphics haven't aged well (even with a community-created HD texture mod). However, the overall atmosphere and game itself are still excellent. Playing through this again has been a dream come true. Now if they would just release Vagrant Story, the greatest game of all time, onto PC...


4. Don't Starve

After Shank and its sequel, I just didn't think that Klei was going to do much to impress me. Mark of the Ninja started changing that opinion, as it was a good game...though a bit hand-holding and still following the same general art style. I felt they were a one-trick pony. Don't Starve drastically changed that opinion and single-handedly changed my opinion of the studio. The brilliance is in its overall simplistic objective: survive. However, the way you choose to do so has so many available options. To add on top of that, there has been a plethora of content updates made that help push your "time played" beyond any reasonable or logical threshold.


3. Bioshock Infinite

Bioshock Infinite would've been my #1 game of 2013 if it weren't for a handful of issues I took with the general gameplay and some story loopholes. Regardless, it was the atmosphere, the characters, and the general story aesthetics that I can't forget. Top notch production values mixed with excellent voice acting make this world something that feels odd yet tangible in the current socio-political climate. Unfortunately, the gunplay felt wonky as most Bioshock games do, and the elixirs never honestly felt as necessary to use as the plasmids in its predecessors did. Still, you'd be hard-pressed to find a more controversial and fascinating example of game design in 2013.


2. Rogue Legacy

There were many indie games that reigned supreme in 2013, but none of them were nearly as powerful to me as Rogue Legacy. My interest here wasn't about story. It was about pure gameplay, and that's what Cellar Door delivered with this game. Billed as a "Rogue-lite," Rogue Legacy followed in the footsteps of something like Dark Souls in creating a unique RPG that had you pounding your head in frustration while coming back for me. The unique way of leveling your character up, the interesting traits that could be obtained through the game's genealogy system, and the beautiful 2D artwork make this an indie triumph for 2013 that easily kept my thumbs on the analog sticks for a long time.


1. Warframe

Warframe is an example of how to launch a free-to-play game correctly and use the model to improve your product overall. When the closed beta originally started, all of the levels looked the same and it seemed destined to fall to the wayside of free-to-play doom. However, in the time that the game has been in open beta, the exponential growth of the game's overall content has been alarming! Introducing new levels, reworked boss fights, gads and gads of new weapons on a regular basis has helped the game gain a healthy following. Moreover, it's the kind of game where you can literally obtain everything you need without ever spending a single penny. It's not easy, and many have called it a "grind-fest." However, I've yet to find any of the stuff that I WANT to obtain to be THAT least no more difficult than getting gear in World of Warcraft. Beyond that, the game has an excellent fiction highlighted with incredible character designs and incredible graphics. With the recent launch on PS4, we'll also see the game getting cross-platform play, and since the game uses a very controller-friendly control scheme, it's difficult to not recommend this to someone looking for a solid co-op game.

Posted by Video_Game_King

Why is the list completely out of order?

Edited by believer258

Why is the list completely out of order?

So that Jakob187 can recycle that lame fucking My Little Pony pic?

Posted by jakob187

I got rid of the MLP pic, solely because I figure I'm going to get enough hate already!

Also, apparently, the list function is still broken...because why have a fully functioning forum section on this site at all?!

Edited by Rebel_Scum

Not to mention the little bit of attitude towards the reader(s).

Posted by jakob187

Not to mention the little bit of attitude towards the reader(s).

1. You probably haven't seen a lot of my posts, so I can understand how that opinion is formed. That's fine, as I've never denied being an asshole...but I'm a lover, not a fighter. I just have a generally abrasive way to writing in most cases. I love you all. = D I'm sorry for any confusion on that.


Posted by Thoseposers

the time i spent with Warframe was mad boring and i hated everything about the menus and joining games

Edited by Fredchuckdave

Props for Rogue Legacy, antiprops for Bioshock being higher than like 7th or 8th, antiprops for no Vagrant Story reference. Wasn't 1.04 when they nerfed Inferno (though you did have to be a masochist to enjoy Inferno admittedly)? And 1.03 was when they buffed it via nerfing DHs and Wizards?

Magic is no Hearthstone, the first of all card games.

Edited by Rebel_Scum

@jakob187 Re: Point 1: No, your username is familiar. So your a loving asshole...ha ha... I get it...

...what the hell have I just read... ;)

Posted by oldenglishc

In a world where Fire Emblem doesn't exist, Rogue Legacy is the best game of the year. Bioshock had an interesting world.

The rest of your list I never played because I like fun stuff.

Posted by jakob187

@thoseposers said:

the time i spent with Warframe was mad boring and i hated everything about the menus and joining games

They have re-engineered a lot of that stuff. Much smoother now. Nonetheless, I can understand the divisiveness.

Props for Rogue Legacy, antiprops for Bioshock being higher than like 7th or 8th, antiprops for no Vagrant Story reference. Wasn't 1.04 when they nerfed Inferno (though you did have to be a masochist to enjoy Inferno admittedly)? And 1.03 was when they buffed it via nerfing DHs and Wizards?

Magic is no Hearthstone, the first of all card games.

I've added a Vagrant Story reference in just for you, old friend. It's in the Shadow Man paragraph.

As for the D3 patch, 1.03 is when they nerfed DHs and Wizards, but it's also when they increased the repair costs by 4-6x their normal amount, increased overall armor wear n tear, and nerfed Inferno mode because there were too many babies that didn't want to work their asses off to actually get geared and do a proper build for the stuff. It was the moment that Blizzard began what I call "reactionary design," where people whine and bitch to the point that the company does it just to shut people up and keep them from leaving. It's the equivalent of entitled brats complaining that they can't reach the cookies because they are on top of the fridge and they don't to be adventurous by getting a chair, climbing up, and getting a instead they just whine and bitch and moan until they get what they want.

1.04 is when the game went completely down the gutter for me. Luckily, I've seen a lot of gameplay for it now, and other than the ridiculously inflated economy and presence of the auction house, it seems like they've finally done what needed to be done to the base game itself. Reaper of Souls has me wet right now in hopes that it will become the Diablo I know and love once again, but without true and honest PvP, I don't know how long it can hold my attention to be honest.

As for Hearthstone, I have beta access for that through one of my Blizz friends. It's cool...but it's no Magic for me. I play MTG in real life (green devo right now, although I'm working on a Dimir deck thanks to the massive blue/black cards in Theros), so it's something that tickles my fancy a lot more. The one thing that Hearthstone has that the Magic games doesn't is the ability to fully build your own deck. THAT is something I'd like in the Magic games, BUT unless I want to go play MTGO, it's not going to happen. Oh well.

If anyone has any Thoughtseize, Ashiok or Hero's Downfall for trade from Theros btw, I need ASAP.

Edited by Fredchuckdave

@jakob187: Well done sir.

The 1.03 nerf was a very small one if I recall, like it didn't radically change the number of people that killed Diablo and everything everywhere still one shot you; and the pre 1.03 crowd (speaking as one who was amongst them) was all exploiters and people that had lots of buddies to toss them gear. I was far more proud of the between patches time since the game was fairer but still challenging; 1.04 was when you could just stroll in and kill Diablo, give or take 25 minutes of tedium.

Of course Silver Spire 2 will always be the real last boss, don't think anyone ever full cleared that before they buffed loot and had numerous other nerfs. But corpse hopping baby! That's the real skill. Or goblin farming in hardcore, what could be more (not) fun? It is really really stupid but the memories of the broken as fuck days will always be what brings fondness to Diablo 3. Oh lovely bees in Act 2, oh Cydaea instantly killing you with spider spawns before they actually spawned, oh Rakanoth hitting for 50,000, oh invincible angels, oh Izual being harder than Diablo, oh Izual's walkway being the best spot to farm loot due to weapon racks, what fond times.

Edited by Chaser324

Top Eight? Is this MySpace?

Definitely some solid choices in there. I'd really like to get around to replaying Diablo 3 on consoles at some point because I thoroughly enjoyed playing through the demo on 360.

Edited by jakob187

@chaser324: MySpace > Facebook. I could at least bling the fuck out of MySpace to make it the greatest eye sore since Angelfire.

Honestly, my choices would've probably been deeper if I had bothered to actually play Arkham Origins, more of Tomb Raider, or the other bajillion games that came out this year. I mean, I have Origins and Black Flag sitting behind me RIGHT NOW, and I just haven't been playing them. I think the above games are the only ones that I've really been playing in any amount, and outside of that, I've spent some time with COD: Ghosts and 99 Levels to Hell.

Hell, I have Volgarr the Viking from when it was on sale for $4.99, and I haven't touched it. *ugh* I really need a vacation to burn through these games.

Posted by Claude

Shadow Man was an amazing game. When I first played it, I thought, yep, I'm playing a mature game. And boy howdy was it a trip.