You Got Knoxx'd The Fuggout!!!

Last week, I blogged that I would be getting into The Secret Armory of General Knoxx.  I've done so, and after dying about 30 times within 20 minutes...even WITH corrosive weapons...within the first two or three quests of the DLC...I can tell that doing this solo just ain't gonna fucking happen.  So, as my title implies...I've been Knoxx'd the fuggout!!!  The chances of me getting into this DLC in the near future is very slim, so sadly, I think I will give this simple review:  IT'S FUCKING TOUGH!!!
 
Soooo...my gaming time has been pre-occupied with a catch-up game from last year as well as, you guessed it, more Bad Company 2.  That catch-up title is Fairytale Fights. 
 

 Try heavy pads next time, Red.
In talking about Fairytale Fights, I think it's only proper to point out something before continuing on about it - there are just some times in your gaming life where you want brainless action where you cut some muthafuckers up and watch 'em bleed like a stuck hog.  If that's not your cup o' tea, then Fairytale Fights isn't for you.  If you do fit into that twisted and sadistic bunch, then you'll find more pleasure in it than that previous lot of prudes.  The game isn't great by any means.  It's essentially Gauntlet Legends with a cutesy art style, dynamic slicing, and volumetric liquids.  You can cut some fools up like crazy, but the combat is incredibly basic.  Everything is mapped to the right thumbstick, so those Too Human veterans out there already know what they're getting into.  The environments are pretty cool, albeit the chapters are LOOOOOOONG and there's no save points or autosaves between the beginning and end of a chapter.  Therefore, if you are planning on getting through and holding onto your monies and stats, then you need to at least plan about an hour or so out of your time to tackle the chapters... 
 
...and THAT is where my biggest problem with the game is.  The pacing is TERRIBLE!  Had the areas been a bit shorter, offered an autosave setup within the chapters so you didn't lose progress, and offered up a bit more variety in the combat, this game could've been a really damn fine title.  Instead, I feel like I'm drudging through shit that I don't want to drudge through.  I'm all for extreme violence (I only wrote the page for it), but you cannot honestly make that the sole factor to sell your game. 
 
 The amount of blood in this game is INSANE!
The co-op play is something interesting, though.  Since the game supports four-player local play, I hopped on with some buddies and we all started hacking 'n' slashing as four Naked Emperors.  Shortly after realizing that we can't take the game seriously when we are capable of killing each other repeatedly with Friendly Fire on, we quickly stopped our massive blood orgy of slicing doom and switched that feature off.  The game plays alright with multiple people on the same screen, but some of the platforming becomes increasingly difficult...especially when your buddies keep pushing you off the fucking edge and killing you. 
 
I'd recommend the game for anyone looking for the occasional piece of fun with friends or achievement whores, as the achievements are definitely challenging in many ways.  Other than that, just rent it or get it on the SUPER cheaps. 
 
In the world of Battlefield, I've hit rank 25 and unlocked everything.  I've also busted out 935 gamerpoints on the game, and it's been an incredibly fun journey.  I can feel some of the fatigue already setting in, as there's nothing else to get for me other than skill level.  However, the Xbox Live community has...well, done exactly what I expected would happen - found ways to make the game no fun at all: 
  • Your own team throwing infinite landmines on the crates you are supposed to be defending, and then blowing it up to make you lose
  • Getting pissed that you are trying to PLAY THE GAME when they are trying to whore their squad score with attack/defend order and crate damage
  • Making no effort to actually do anything but snipe, leading to your team's inevitable demise
 
These are only a few of the many reasons that I've stuck with Squad Deathmatch so much.  I ALWAYS have three buddies to roll with, and we rape in SDM.  Last night, we had one of our tightest matches yet:  a full server, and we won.  The final scores? 
  • 50
  • 47
  • 46
  • 43
 
It was fucking epic in all ways possible, and it really shows how fun this game can be when people actually play it and not act like fuckwits. 
 
However, aside from the occasional moments with my buddies, I'm going to be putting more time into finishing out some other achievements and such.  I'm just over 2k shy of 50,000.  Any ideas of what achievement I could use to milestone it?  I was thinking Dead Space on Impossible difficulty for an S-rank.  If you've got something better, let me know. 
 
Until next time, piece.
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1 Comments
Posted by jakob187

Last week, I blogged that I would be getting into The Secret Armory of General Knoxx.  I've done so, and after dying about 30 times within 20 minutes...even WITH corrosive weapons...within the first two or three quests of the DLC...I can tell that doing this solo just ain't gonna fucking happen.  So, as my title implies...I've been Knoxx'd the fuggout!!!  The chances of me getting into this DLC in the near future is very slim, so sadly, I think I will give this simple review:  IT'S FUCKING TOUGH!!!
 
Soooo...my gaming time has been pre-occupied with a catch-up game from last year as well as, you guessed it, more Bad Company 2.  That catch-up title is Fairytale Fights. 
 

 Try heavy pads next time, Red.
In talking about Fairytale Fights, I think it's only proper to point out something before continuing on about it - there are just some times in your gaming life where you want brainless action where you cut some muthafuckers up and watch 'em bleed like a stuck hog.  If that's not your cup o' tea, then Fairytale Fights isn't for you.  If you do fit into that twisted and sadistic bunch, then you'll find more pleasure in it than that previous lot of prudes.  The game isn't great by any means.  It's essentially Gauntlet Legends with a cutesy art style, dynamic slicing, and volumetric liquids.  You can cut some fools up like crazy, but the combat is incredibly basic.  Everything is mapped to the right thumbstick, so those Too Human veterans out there already know what they're getting into.  The environments are pretty cool, albeit the chapters are LOOOOOOONG and there's no save points or autosaves between the beginning and end of a chapter.  Therefore, if you are planning on getting through and holding onto your monies and stats, then you need to at least plan about an hour or so out of your time to tackle the chapters... 
 
...and THAT is where my biggest problem with the game is.  The pacing is TERRIBLE!  Had the areas been a bit shorter, offered an autosave setup within the chapters so you didn't lose progress, and offered up a bit more variety in the combat, this game could've been a really damn fine title.  Instead, I feel like I'm drudging through shit that I don't want to drudge through.  I'm all for extreme violence (I only wrote the page for it), but you cannot honestly make that the sole factor to sell your game. 
 
 The amount of blood in this game is INSANE!
The co-op play is something interesting, though.  Since the game supports four-player local play, I hopped on with some buddies and we all started hacking 'n' slashing as four Naked Emperors.  Shortly after realizing that we can't take the game seriously when we are capable of killing each other repeatedly with Friendly Fire on, we quickly stopped our massive blood orgy of slicing doom and switched that feature off.  The game plays alright with multiple people on the same screen, but some of the platforming becomes increasingly difficult...especially when your buddies keep pushing you off the fucking edge and killing you. 
 
I'd recommend the game for anyone looking for the occasional piece of fun with friends or achievement whores, as the achievements are definitely challenging in many ways.  Other than that, just rent it or get it on the SUPER cheaps. 
 
In the world of Battlefield, I've hit rank 25 and unlocked everything.  I've also busted out 935 gamerpoints on the game, and it's been an incredibly fun journey.  I can feel some of the fatigue already setting in, as there's nothing else to get for me other than skill level.  However, the Xbox Live community has...well, done exactly what I expected would happen - found ways to make the game no fun at all: 
  • Your own team throwing infinite landmines on the crates you are supposed to be defending, and then blowing it up to make you lose
  • Getting pissed that you are trying to PLAY THE GAME when they are trying to whore their squad score with attack/defend order and crate damage
  • Making no effort to actually do anything but snipe, leading to your team's inevitable demise
 
These are only a few of the many reasons that I've stuck with Squad Deathmatch so much.  I ALWAYS have three buddies to roll with, and we rape in SDM.  Last night, we had one of our tightest matches yet:  a full server, and we won.  The final scores? 
  • 50
  • 47
  • 46
  • 43
 
It was fucking epic in all ways possible, and it really shows how fun this game can be when people actually play it and not act like fuckwits. 
 
However, aside from the occasional moments with my buddies, I'm going to be putting more time into finishing out some other achievements and such.  I'm just over 2k shy of 50,000.  Any ideas of what achievement I could use to milestone it?  I was thinking Dead Space on Impossible difficulty for an S-rank.  If you've got something better, let me know. 
 
Until next time, piece.