I remember back when I was younger, how psyched I was to get home from school because maybe, just maybe I had gotten Caesar 3 in the mail. I remember getting it three days later, being just as psyched that day as the days before. Then not being able to play it for three days because I had to live with my Grandparents for the weekend. I remember that as it was yesterday. I should be able to say that, but I cannot.
If you thought this would be a blog about Caesar 3 you are mistaken. This is a blog about life. And how weird it is. I am not old seeing how I am only 23. But sometimes I feel that my life so far have been... wasted. Or rather, lost. That I am just living for the moments now and those who are to come. My memory is the reason for this feeling. I forget things way faster than what I think is normal. Sure, I can remember a crapload of stuff from games, where to go to meet Jesus in Fallout 2 for instance, but my life I forget. Things that have happened, things I have done, things I say. I vaguely remember that story about Caesar 3 up there, but it feels like a movie I saw ages ago. Not a part of my life. My life is gone. Forgotten.
The thing is, I cannot remember if I was always like this. If I have been forgetting my life all my life. It might have happened when I fell and broke my back. I did hit my head that time, maybe that also jarred my memory. Worsened it. Or maybe I just forget things faster than normal people. And I find that to be sad.
I cannot remember my first day at school. I cannot remember what I was as a person back then. I cannot remember my first game, not vividly. I think it was Doom. Might have been Super Mario Bros. And a year from now I won't remember this.
What brought me to think about this was Blade Runner. Yes, I didn't see this movie until recently. A few days ago actually, but I honestly cannot remember the exact day... Batty's last words really got to me when I realized all my moments are already gone. No-one can remember these moments for me, and I have lost them forever. I haven't done anything special with my life, but still... it is my life. It is special for me.
Maybe I am lucky. Maybe this is my secret to being happy. 'cause I usually am. I enjoy this ride that is life, I just wish I could remember the past turns. And my past experiences, lost as they may be, have still shaped me to be who I am. I know I have changed drastically the past five years, so it's not like it has all gone to waste. But still...
" I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in the rain... Time to die. "
I toyed with the idea of cross-posting this on the forums or whatever you call it, even though it has little to do with gaming. Then I thought, "why not? If people ridicule me for doing such a thing, I'll forget about it pretty fast" So I have, and I did so solely to see if someone can relate. If someone has thoughts and opinions on this. Or if someone really wants me to write a blog about Caesar 3.
Yeah, I don't care if no-one replied to the last blog thingy I made. I have started a Let's Play style thing. If anyone is interested, I have the Introduction Chapter up right here. I think this might turn out to be fun, for me at least. Gives a bit more reason behind playing, and maybe I can give a handful of people some laughs.
I am installing Fallout 3 on my new OS (Windows 7), and have been spending quite a lot of hours downloading and installing mods. Still struggling installing FOOK2 properly right now. Anyway. Once I am done, I was thinking about starting a blog thingy following my character. It would be a fun "diary" for me to have somewhere, and it might be something some weirdos around might enjoy. If anyone is interested in following something like this, I'll probably post the first entries in this blog, before I make a simple blogsite with it. But I am very uncertain what how to make my character. Male or female? Stealthy or Rambo? Good, bad or just crazy? Name? So I ask you, the people who might be interested in following this, to help me with making this character.
Seeing how I am installing FOOK2 and FWE, which changes a lot, playing this game will be very new to me now. So things might go... less than good :P I'll probably update very slowly as well, as it will be very screenshot heavy.
I totally forget I have this "blog". Doesn't matter much, do it, but since I have it I can just as well write something here.
Games I play right now: X3: Reunion - Man that is an awesome game! So deep and hard (snicker). I cannot understand how I haven't heard of this game before, because this is exactly what I have been looking for. I started my first game on Normal mode, which means I started with one small ship and 5000C. Now I have 150000C, two auto-trading ships, one backup ship and a fast Harrier for myself. I am saving up for a few more auto-traders, then I will build a factory. I think I might build an Ore Mine in Presidents End. Some pirates blew up one Ore Mine in Ore Belt, which means there is a shortage of Ore in the area. I hope it stays that way.
TF2 - I play this very on and off. Right now I play it for an hour or so each week. I still love it, but I really suck. I also have no friends to play with, so I am more like the anonymous annoying Pyro most of the time. Man, I love the Pyro.
Outcast - I got it from GoG.com, but it keeps slowing down when I play it. Which sucks, because it is an awesome game.
Games I am getting: Red Dead Redemption - I need this game right now.
Games I really want, but cannot afford: Mount and Blade: Warband S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Call of Pripyat Borderlands.
I am waiting for those games to come on sale on Steam again. But I still need to get some more money before that. Not having a job sucks.
Oh, I really want to make a Let's Play type thing. I started on one some time ago, but no-one cared. If anyone want me to continue, or make something similar, tell me! You can find what I did here: Durandir's Let's Play Fallout 3
Seriously, why do everyone think MGS4 is such a great game? From what I can tell (and I have done anything but play it), the combat looks boring and stupid, the story is the same over-the-top-japanese-soap-opera drivel, the graphics aren't that much to brag about, and the whole thing just reeks of "look at us, we made the bestest game of all time! Because no one understands it! HAHA!"
It seems like a stupid mediocre action game, with a stupid story. And they had to put in a lot of cutscenes to really make it the best dramaqueen game ever. Which it totally is. The entire series is. And it looks like I am the only one who think this. Well, I can hate this series alone, fine by me. The only good thing that have come out of these games are these. There are tons of those there, and I love all of them. Why? Because they are so darn funny. And they are funny because they are stupid, like the game.
Spore is out in roughly a week here! Yay! So looking forward to it. Will probably stop me from playing Team Fortress 2 for at least a month... Who am I kidding! I'll play Team Fortress 2 as well I bet.
I have tried my best not to learn anything about this game. I know it is being hyped a lot, and that it is supposed to be great, and I frankly do not have time to play yet another great game. And there are too many great releases coming. But I broke down today and read a bit about it, as well as checked out several gameplay videos.
Man, I am relieved. This doesn't look anything special at all to be honest. Combat looks... weird and kinda boring. The animations are not what I expected. Seriously, the air-attacks looks stupid. Your character only move his arms to attack, his legs and the rest of the body is almost totally immovable? That does not look good you know. And fast-paced combat? Please. I though about Ninja Gaiden combat when I read that. It is not close to that pace. Storywise it might be good, but who knows.
The only thing good about that game, from what I read and what I think, is the item system. To few games have heaps of items, like Diablo 2. But that is far from enough for me to buy it. So I am actually rather happy about that. Now I have more time to play the great games that are a coming out, and the great games I have yet to play.
This site is awesome. I was expecting something like Gamespot, most likely something better, but this... Is beyond awesome. The concept is totally brilliant. To have all this information on one site, to find out everything about any game is great. And to be able to add things yourself? Brilliant! Yes, it has been done before, sure, but I would say this is new. I just want to add a lot of things everywhere :P
So congrats guys, you have made the best bomb ever.