Well fucking done. I need my steak with a nice crunch along the outside of it. I can settle for medium but anything under that is disgusting.
JasonR86's forum posts
My immediate reaction was that I can't imagine how peers, all at the same level, can force anything in regards to the career of another. I couldn't be forced out of my position at my job if a colleague just decided to make that their mission in life. My boss would need to make that decision. And if Naughty Dog's management can be swayed so easily then they are in trouble. My real, non-immediate reaction is that there's probably way too much we don't know and it's kind of shitty for a site to put up hearsay and speculation, particularly when it is so vague, alongside legitimate news.
I was at work when I heard. It was depressing but I had work to do so I tried to keep it off my mind but it was hard. For a long time I couldn't watch any video that had Ryan in it. Just recently I went through the whole podcast catalogue from start to the episode following his death and it was kind of nice. Dude was a great host, very funny, and brought so much joy and energy to each episode.
I remember spending a lot of time considering death though following the news. I deal with death a lot at work and so I've tried to reconcile with the idea that I will die. I'm trying to come to terms with that because deep down, when I really consider my own death, it scares the shit out of me. I want to come to terms with that because I need to be a guide for clients who wish to come to terms with maybe their own imminent deaths or the deaths of others.
Ryan's death brought that anxiety I have to the forefront of my mind. Ryan and I aren't that different in age (7 years difference which goes by fast) so knowing that he had died put the fear of God in me. I know that I'm not indestructible but my death feels like it is a ways off you know? But that's not necessarily true and Ryan's death made that very clear. So I spent even more time dealing with this existential anxiety I have. I'm not totally over it if I'm honest but I'm better than I was. I can now work with client's on these issues without feeling like a hypocrite.