Okay disclaimer time:

If you want deep comparisons, you'll not find them here.

If you want anything but my own personal opinions, you'll not find it here.

If you want to be a dick..that's up to you, but it would be pointless.

I have a terrible sense of humour, you have been warned.

Steam ID is Jazz and my LoL ID is JazzGB or Ahriman Efreet

Gunslingerpanda's Twitch Stream - link

Lolking link to my profile - link

Dota2 profile on DOTABuff - link

Week 1 can be found here

Week 2 can be found here

Week 3 can be found here

We're coming up on the end of the first month of this madness..and beyond all reason I'm still doing this. I should see a therapist.

Quick Notes:

• I've made some back room deals and talked to odd little people with lots of rolexs in their coats and I might..just might..be getting a new PC in the very near future - my plan is to be able to run things above 20fps and actually be able to stream once in a while. Fingers crossed.
• It's not until I'd played a bit of these games that I realised, but the size of my screen also causes issues - it's 15" I think and having to scroll with the mouse has lead to my death a couple of times..not as much as me being an idiot though.
• I said I'd make a decision as to which game to concentrate on (I'll still play the other, just not as regularly) at the end of this week. I think it's safe to say that unless things change greatly (and there's an upsurge of related content on the site) it's probably going to be League. That may change though.
• On a totally unrelated note - I saw the BBC4 documentary about Prince yesterday. When Doves Cry still continues to blow my mind every time I hear it. IT HAS NO BASS.

aka - 'god, I'm a terrible terrible person..and I fucking hate this game' - me

First off I want to straight up apologise to Panda for having to listen to me rage at a Crystal Maiden player yesterday - which brings me to my first point.

• Starting with Dota2 I played a match with Panda while I was dealing with a ton of issues in the house at the same time (3 hours of chasing cats followed). I've mentioned this before but Mobas are not stress relieving games and if you're already having a bad day solo queue is probably going to make it worse.
• In all fairness to the CM player, I was playing poorly and making bad decisions - I just assumed they would play the same way I did as CM(freeze the intitated bad guy and let the carry wail before retreating) but no..no it was aa all the way and I didn't adapt to that..leading to me giving the other team first blood by being careless and screaming at the screen. I didn't trust myself to type anything...which was lucky.
• I don't want to be that guy, Panda didn't want to listen to that guy so..yeah, sorry.
• I think we won that match eventually with Panda PL'ing them to kingdom come.
• On the flipside the three following matches I solo queued were relaxing, even at one point my team were like 'oh we're all noobs and make mistakes, lets just do our best.' Now that's the right frame of mind.
• Suiciding Pudge is the best kind of Pudge.
• Mass disconnects by the opposing team - doesn't that put you in the long queue? Never really understood the point. Just take your beating.
• Riki lol.
• So the moral of the story - don't be that guy. It's not worth it.

• On the other side of the universe - I'm completely different in League. I find it hilarious when stuff in League goes completely batshit insane wrong. It doesn't annoy me at all.
• Case in point - of the 3 matches I played, we only won one and surrendered the rest (I really hate the idea of surrendering...it may save time but learning how to deal with overwhelming odds is helpful).
• Blitzcrank is a dick of the highest magnitude. Last hitting and yanking people..dude come on now.
• We had a Garren building ranged weapons.
• We had a Katarina stacking attack speed.
• We had me not stacking AD..until I got told off by tbk.
• I had a tri lane against my Tris and I held them all..even with the odd Garren jumping out of the bush. A WILD GARREN APPEARS!
• Russians are everywhere..EVERYWHERE.
• Fizz makes everything better.
• I really like Tristana - she has moxie and can just rocket jump to safety. Her damage output with the infinity edge is ridonculous. I was able to stand my ground against a Malphite and a werewolf dude.

So the start of another week. I should play some more Smite at some point. Really excited about playing League and Dota at..gasp..30fps potentially more..perhaps..50? No, that's pushing it.

tbc

aka: 'Wait...where's Teemo?'- me

Quick notes:

• back on the 'Fuck Steam' brigade. It won't even start up now so...probably not going to bother much till the..
• New computer has been ordered - £650 GTX 750ti 2048, 8gb ram, i5-4440 3.10ghz, 2tb seagate barrabarrabarracuda. It's being pre-built because I just don't need that hassle at the moment - I'm a wuss, I know. Should be here on 7th. 30+ FPS confirmed. woooo.
• I haven't posted a single youtube video in two weeks..this has completely taken over.

• As with most game I had some good games and had some bad games. I had a really good game playing support Morgana, kept my carry (Tris) alive and we pushed Fiddlesticks and Garen back like a goddamn railroad.
• That was followed by one of the worst Blitzcranks I have ever seen and everybody whining about the usual..while not warding or pinging.
• Then Teemo arrived...there's a reason everyone hates that guy..those invisible shrooms and his attack speed..that shit is insane.
• Next game was the dance of death between two Morganas. The rest of the team (Dr Mundo 'Ugh I should have been carry - I don't know what you're doing..*looks at cs - 95 and I have 256 while trading with my exact opposite build in mid who had 134 and getting ganked because..well the usual* I'm sorry, what now?) were completely all over the place and Urgot just d/c'd.
• Played another game with Tris and had Avinia? decide to bottom lane with me 'You know you're support right Avi? 'No' 'I'm...I'm Tris..and I called ADC...I don't....what?'
• Forumite tbk joined me for a normal game to help me with my last hitting under turrets while he kept me alive as Nami. My framerate just..really makes shit difficult and there was quite a bit of a step up from the other team..not so much on ours but eh..
• We then spent some time doing an overview of assassins in the game and ended up deciding to pick Akali to learn how to play assassins.
• She has some nice abilities and the shroud/q/r abilities were cool. I need to put more time into her.
• Totally want to play some Soraka top now. She's been nerfed but the trollin at low levels...priceless.

Final notes:

• all the help recieved from Panda and tbk has probably sped my learning on beyond most people at my level, and that is great and also super frustrating.
• team games need teams. Normal is great to try stuff out and mess around but the pace of a well oiled team machine is far more exciting.
• It's probably due to them being behind paywalls and thus I rarely see them, but there are so many League characters that interest me. You just don't see Jayce or Lissandra or Elise..ever. Could be because they aren't viable but when playing normal games who gives a fuck about that? ADC Soraka..do it.
• fuck the shrooms..seriously.

So the countdown to 30+fps begins..oh the excitement. I won't have any excuses left..oo err..Thanks for joining me as always.

tbc

aka 'But that Baron, amirite? Let's just remember that' - me or 'that last 30 mins was one of the saddest things I've ever seen' - tbk or 'You sound like you've been playing this for 3 years already...we've spoiled you' -tbk

quick notes:

• I'm beginning to think my pets are trolling me..waking me up 3 times a night.
• New rotation of champions for this week in League

• Super excited about Lucian, MF, Orianna and Elise.
• I'll be picking up Lissandra in the sale..can never say no to Ice people.
• Still steam does not wish to work so no Dota..sorry.
• Previews of new League champion 'Gnar' are surficing..it's a wereteemo..I'm calling it.
• In a recent red post Lyte discussed toxicity and how they are meaning to deal with it - in my personal expereince I haven't had too much of a problem on my end but see it occassionally (mostly in french oddly enough) happen to other. I rather worry that by trying to organise a team to actually do something together I may come off a bit sharp, which brings me to:

• I was very tempted to just put the date, time played and a message saying 'I don't want to talk about it' but thinking it over there's a lot I learned from my 4 hour journey to low elo hell and I think I will share a bit.
• First off - it's become obvious that low level games are not about teamwork as there generally is bugger all. If you concentrate on your own lane while keeping an eye for ganking ops, you'll probably be less frustrated in the end..that's assuming you're not the only one pinging and warding. If you are then you're fucked.
• Secondly people will generally not listen to whatever you have to say - probably because they a) don't understand, b) think they know what they're doing, c) have turned off chat or d) are just trolling. I spent a large amount of time trying to co-ordinate teams to only have Blitzcrank (if I ever get the chance I'm banning Blitzcrank from MY team let alone the other one) decide to just do his own thing at the end of a push..on a different lane.
• Sidenote - tbk asked me why I stood around so much doing nothing..well I was typing, a lot.
• I'll give you the cliff notes on my afternoon and evening:
• Tris adc - Morgana with me, she ks'd and cs'd like a pro even after I asked her not to.
• Again Tris adc with the same top lane - Nasus decided he liked my creeps and aa'd them for 20 mins without using Q.
• Morgana support with..Skarner adc? Skarner thinks it's team deathmatch and ignores the creeps to attack the other team over and over again.
• The amount of times our team wanted to surrender but we ended up winning? 80%
• Morgana again (no one but Blitz plays support and I refuse to play with a blitz ever again) with Ashe adc. She can't last hit..at all. Ziggs and Katarina argue over mid and I had to watch Katarina suicide a bunch of times while whining about other people.
• Then came the worst game I have ever been a part of - I played Ahri mid..badly by the way, against a Brand who luckily couldn't stun. We had jungling Yi who..didn't know what he was doing really. Jinx and..Blitz bottom lane and someone top lane. Oh wait no we didn't he d/c'd.
• 60 minutes of pain. Complete inability to co-ordinate despite my attempts..and that's all they were really..attempts. No real team organisation and just..it was depressing rather than funny.
• What was funny was the other team wailing at Baron for about 2 minutes before we came in,stole it and killed them all but two...before everyone else decided pushing the lanes wasn't necessary and then running back to base, leaving me to be ganked at the last minute. *cue me banging my head against the table*.
• I finally got them to push bottom as we had taken the inhibitor down there between myself and Yi and the two inner towers...Blitz decided to push top where it was still tower before the inhibitor and they all rushed up there to help..it was mind boggling.
• The fact that I was in the winning team 80% of the time despite the complete and utter chaos of my team says a lot about the people we were playing. If they had any co-ordination they would have kicked us to death within 15 mins.

So what did I learn:

• tbk put it best when he said 'Panda and I have spoiled you' they really had.
• Concentrate on impoving yourself rather than worrying about the other members of the team - winning/losing in normal doesn't matter as long as you get better.
• or to put it another way, 'don't fuckin bother..it's a lost cause'
• In my own time I played some botmatches with Soraka and Akali. Soraka top is almost possibly viable - the nerfs hit it hard I think but it's hilarious whiping out creep waves and silencing the other side then tanking them. Akali..well..I need to work on her, I was up against a Sivir bot who wrecked me..leading me to pick up Sivir and having some fun. Low IP champions are great impulse purchases...especially when you make enough in a day to buy them.
• New patch on 30th - apparently it's changing 40ish champions. Sion confirmed as top tier with Yorrick. This will be my first patch - It'll be interesting to see if I recognise the changes and if I'm as negative about them as most people will inevitably be.
• Despite all the above, I still want to play the game..I still want to get better. I think that says a lot.

So the storm continues..the days are counting down till 30+ fps and the ability to actually type this thing without key lag. I'm going to try and do something special for the end of the first month..just some *waves hands around* plans but we'll see.

Thanks for sticking with me.

tbc

aka: 'No..not again..let me out...LET ME OUT' me on seeing the same Blitzu player 3 times in a row in solo queue.

Quick notes:

• Patch is up for 4.13 - link to patch notes. I'll come back to those in a bit.
• A week and a day till 30+fps..woot. Wifi dongle thing arrived..excitement growing.
• Dominion is a really weird TV show. Who knew they'd do a sequel to the movie Legion..and what is it with Angels and Romans? Watching Anthony 'Giles' Head chew through scenery like butter is rather entertaining though.
• Deception IV is a weird puzzle game...like tower defence but you're the tower. It's been a while since I played the PSX games.
• BREAKING NEWS - SMT4 coming out on 3ds download only in Sept for..gasp..£17.99 or 20 Euros. Holy shit. Finally...and that price.
• Trying to get that free Alistair skin and champion but it seems that youtube promo is borked. Sent off a ticket and they're on it...which is nice.

• So as I metioned yesterday I was excited to play some Lucian and pick up Lissandra..both of which I ended up doing.
• I really liked (notice tentative past tense) Lucian. Once I realised that his E resets his auto attack (you see where I'm going here?) and that you can stack AD like no one's business on him he just turned into a position based monster flying around the place like a Platinum games character....and then I read the patch notes this morning. Now, I'm okay with them removing the slow escape mechanism but pumping up the cooldown is not something I'd have done..it seriously effects his damage output. An extra 4 seconds cd is a massive nerf. It's not like he's a tank either..so I'm not too happy about that change. Guess that answers my question of yesterday as to whether I would see the changes in a particular light.
• I also played around (heh) with Lissandra and first up I love her movement animation with the iceflow on the ground. She's another one that's all about positioning and seems to be a very powerful character if you choose your shots for best effect. She even got some minor buffs in the patch with a Q cd reduction and R slow boost. Her W took an AP hit but that's mostly for trapping and clearing minion waves afaik. Anyway she's fun and I'm glad I picked her up.
• As for my actual games I played yesterday..if I told you they were pretty much the same as yesterday down to the same fucking Blitzu (tbk- 'He's helping' me - 'Yeah the other fucking team') 3 times in a row..then you'd probably get the idea. Highlights include:
• A Spanish Fiora who decided split pushing was 2-2 and bitched about me feeding Yi as TF (again..no support is no support)
• Out of interest has anyone seen Bane and Blitzu in the same room..is it actually Bane underneath all that metal?
• A team of level 10s decides to try and take Baron despite being told that it's not going to happen..especially with their builds.
• Morgana support turning into Morgana AP because nobody knows how to play ADC properly..let alone last hit minions.
• Master Yi continues to pub stomp purely because everyone runs away from him and they don't bother to stun and converge..too busy running, leaving me to die..again.
• Maybe I should start running.
• Spent some time in a co-op vs with tbk. I just wanted to play Akali and work on last hitting while he jungled with Elise. Alas I had Susan AND Shen join me in top lane for some top bot trolling. At the very least (despite my framerate issues and weird ping going up from 40 to 400 for no reason) I finally understood last hitting under towers with melee minions (two tower hits and then hit) and starting to grasp the others. So not wasted time.

Final thoughts:

• sorry..super hype for SMT4 and that price. I still have to finish DDS2.
• I'm going to completely stop worrying about other players and actually winning any of these low level games and just concentrate on my lane..I know I said that before but it's kind of difficult to do in a team game but I think I'm going to have to stick with it.
• I swear to god..if I see that fucking Blitz player again I'm going to hack League and delete the character for good. It'll take years of me learning how to hack but it'll be worth it. It'll probably turn out to be a 12 year old girl from Versailles or something but I DON'T CARE.
• I did actually ask the question at one point that if I kept being matched with this lunatic does that mean I'm seen as being as crap as they are..which depressed me immensely.
• I didn't mention it above but..LUX BUFF YAY. Have I mentioned that I'm intentionally leaving Lux till I've got every other champion as a reward for my ridiculous amounts of grinding?
• If you have any thoughts on the patch notes that I, in my meagre play time, would not notice or understand..please leave below. Oh and the item nerfs suck too..just putting that out there.
• Called it on the Gnarl reveal.

Thanks for reading

tbc

aka - 'Are all Master Yi players as whiney as him?' - me

Quick notes:

• It's my Father's 75th Birthday today..
• A week to go till the new computer arrives. Thinking I should have got an ssd to record onto but couldn't afford it at the moment. Upgrading is great.
• Steam really doesn't like me..I'm beginning to think it's personal.

• So I spent a large part of yesterday afternoon (still no job, sigh) just trying out the free rotation champions and Alistair, who League were kind enough to put on my account after the youtube thing didn't work. TLDR:
• Miss Fortune: Weird Weird Werid AA..love her movement speed buff but I wasn't really feeling it. I tried quick cast (switched in the options) with her and I both love it and hate it..I wish it would allow me to set Space + Q or whatever as my quick cast buttons, I broke my left wrist as a kid and I've had problems using my little finger for some reason ever since..screwed up my guitar playing no end. Anyway I like her abilities but she's just..I dunno..boring to me.
• Elise - I hate spiders.
• Orianna - At first I didn't think I'd like her. Her Glados voice and clockwerk jerkiness is offputing, but once I got the hang of her ball of doom and understood her passive buffs her AA she was kinda fun.
• I've mentioned that post patch Lucian is a minor disappointment to me but I'll adapt..he's still a beast once he gets going. Gotta hit those passives to drop the cooldown.
• Alistair - Well..he can take a punch, a rocket and a nuke can't he? I've mentioned that I'm not a fan of melee characters..I'm a wuss remember? But his stun is..fun and the heal when AP stacked is just..silly. The Stun bomp (Q,W) is hilarious.
• I'll quickly mention my first game of the night - I played support Morgana to a Master Yi who demanded to be adc..usual nonsense. The kid (and he certainly was one) complained that I didn't attack after he got taken out by three guys at once, despite the fact that I'd stunned one, shielded him and then Ult'd in the space of 2 seconds after he decided to dive. After that he wanted to know why I didn't pop my heal when he dived 3 v 1..to which I replied I don't support assisted suicide. He then went on to complain about how no one else was getting kills but him (all of which I essentially gave him..and I told him so, which probably didn't help but fuck Master Yi players) and then he went on to whine..leading to everyone to tell him to shut up and please try and learn from his mistakes. Why is this important? Well apart from complaining about Master Yi players it also happened to be the first time I managed ye olde Ult-Zonya Kill with about 20hp left against a Fiora. It was also the most toxic game I've played in - the team just wouldn't work together and bickered mostly due to this Master Yi player..which was a shame.

Now let's talk about Lissandra:

• I am completely enamoured with Lissandra. This became clear to me during the last two games yesterday evening.
• Her poke game with Q is ridiculous - not only does it slow the first hit but the shatter effect deals the same amount of damage in a small cone behind the first and nobody in the low elo expects that at first..bwhahahaha.
• Her W not only clears waves when it's buffed a bit, it's a great initiator or escape mechanism. Team fights become so much easier when you've got the W.
• Her E is the most beautiful, sublime, exquisite thing in the game..need to close the distance, deal damage to creeps and then gank someone? I can do that in one press of E. Low on life and running from 3 people who are gaining? I'll just E over this wall thank you sir. E all day and every day..thank you. E's are good E's are good she's Ebenezer Good. *get's out glow sticks*
• Her passive gives you a free cast every 18 seconds. If you time it right you can clear a wave without using any mana.
• Her R...oh lord. Gonna die and your team are just out of range? Self cast - damage and slow the other team while having your own free Zonya, then pop your actual Zonya, they all die to your team. Team fight and the adc is hurting your side - drop and R on them, clear any creeps - slow the rest of their team and wipe out their ADC. Tis a beautiful thing.
• The amount of times in those two games where I dropped in like the wrath of god on the other team during a team fight..or when things went bad and I managed to get away with 20 hp due to my E..that's why I play League..right there.
• Even in support it was great fun poking - sure it wouldn't work at high level play but low elo it was super effective.
• It also helped that in those last games I was playing with people who knew what they were doing and were good at it..they would ping (occasionally) mark targets (most of the time)...but not ward so much. I spend a vast amount of time warding my lanes and it's saved me more than once.
• So until they inevitably ruin Lissandra by nerfing everything and taking away her Q poke...she bitch slaps Lux to the ground and becomes my favourite champion. Time will tell if she scales into higher level games as I play her though.
• Oh and did I mention she's pretty darn tanky too? Shit was just bouncing off me. Lux's Ult barely scratched after level 8.

So final thoughts:

• I really have a thing for women who chuck ice around, huh?
• It's nice to have something positive to say about team mates for once, it really makes the whole game so much more fun whether you win or not.
• I would put a David Caruso meme in here but..I'm classier than that.

Thanks for reading.

tbc

aka 'Who didn't surrender?' Random guy 'Me! cause I has much pew pew' - me.

Quick notes:

• Rain and lag are the order of the last two days..muchos of both.
• Less than a week to go...now I'm nervous it won't live up to the hype but 30+fps is a pretty big leap.
• Lowest FPS today? 12.

• I played only one game yesterday...but it was a glorious game. Of heroes and villians, of seiges and despair, of mid or I feed.
• Our team had me as Liss in mid, Nunu and Ryze bot, Yi top and a DC.
• Other sider were Katarina mid, Yi jungle, Darius, Janna and Caitlyn in their respective places.
• Katarina did a good job zoning me..alas I overpowered her with the pokes eventually.
• Ryze just went all in..he was something like 30/4/10 at the end of the match.
• T'was a great game.
• This afternoon I played solo q to get enough IP to pick up Evelyn for later interest in the jungling sector..I hear prices have risen and so investment may be a bit behind but they've made through the depression and house prices as stable.
• I have no idea what I just wrote
• I then played a couple of games with Panda..like in the old days eh? We had some really weird games. First one we just rolled right over them, second game we got run over and third we nearly got curb stomped and then they surrendered.
• Weird games my friends...also someone fed Sivir..and it wasn't me. Honest.
• I'm getting more comfortable playing support Morgana, though it would be nice if people didn't dive for no goddamn reason and then expect me to save them with my magic laser powers...which I don't have by the way.
• Last game was embarrasing because I didn't have a warding trinket and varus kept telling me to put wards down..kind of left him to it for the lols.
• Level 30s are just as bad as level 10s in some regards..they have no idea what they're doing nor do they ping when they should.
• Tempted to ranked solo q once I get my upgrade.

aaaand that's all for this week folks. 8 more days till the end of the first actual month of playing is up. Crazy.

Thanks for sticking with me and see you in the comments/next blog.