Why is it that you can only find the best television channels in the world late at night and after a few beers with friends? Well maybe the few beers things helps transform bad television into 'awesome' television, but I'm sure some of this stuff would be awesome none the less. So without further stalling here is a brief time line of our journey into the world of late night television!

12:00 The Colbert Report
The Colbert Report doesn't count in any of this, since I watch it pretty much all the time and it's awesome without any illicit substances. I just wanted to name drop!

01:15 Ariel from the Little Mermaid Sings "HENTAI"
As soon as I can find a clip of this I'll upload it, until then you'll have to take my word for it that during an ad for the little mermaid tv series (or something) we caught Ariel singing
"HENTAI" at the top of her lungs!

01:30 Thrilling Indian horror shows
Unfortunately I can't recall what the show was called, but it was a horror show (kind of in the vein of the Twilight Zone) that told the story of a necklace and some evil blue woman who made a really weird screaming sound that was one of the most unpleasant things I've ever heard in my life. We didn't watch it all the way through but we gathered from the first half that... well... that shit was going down...

02:00 Kids, beg your parents to buy power tools
It was quite surprising to find that a lot of the kids channels kept broadcasting at this time in the morning, but then I guess a lot of those kids would be getting home from their favourite pubs and brothels around this time of night  (well at least in my town). What is more surprising is that the commercials that link the shows all seem to be for low APR loans and builders tools, combine the two and you're in for a world of trouble, or as one of the ads promised "The straightest wall you'll ever see!".

02:05 Jimi Hendrix Live at Woodstock
Things started getting serious at this point, I'd never seen Hendrix's world famous woodstock performance all the way through, but unfortunately tonight wouldn't be that night as we tuned in at Purple Haze. But we got to see Hey Joe, so in the end a winner was us.

02:40 Nothing can stop MOTHRA
Just when it seemed like Hendrix was going to be the highlight of the night (ok so he was) along came this awesome show on the open access channel, which just showed trailers for lots and lots and lots of those old monster films for an hour or so. The highlight of the bunch had to be one about a sea serpent who was unstoppable, "No weapons can harm him" [cut to a clip of the model on fire burning through to the wire frame], so alas he was stoppable by fire it seems.

Anyway at this point it was getting pretty late, or early, and we parted ways. But as I now leave you as well my dear friends I urge you; watch television at rediculous times in the morning and post your findings!

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Sometimes work can be stressful, boring or both, yesterday happened to be one of those days and so I decided to watch Shoot 'Em Up again that evening, it's starting to become something of a vice to me, some people drink or smoke weed to wind down and relax, me? ... I pop in Shoot 'Em Up and switch off my brain for 90 minutes. It's not exactly ever going to make cinematic history and it's far from perfect, and yet when I'm watching it all of that fades away. Heck where else can you see Paul Giamatti run past a dead woman with her breast hanging out and he just smiles and says "nice knockers!"? Oh that doesn't sound like a good film? What if I told you Clive Owen kills a man with a carrot and says "eat your vegetables"? Still nothing? Hmmm, well I can understand it not sounding too great, but if for some reason you go into this film knowing those two lines and you're expecting something epic and moving then you deserve to be disappointed.

It seems that if you're a hater of Shoot 'Em Up then you're not alone, you'll probably find many like minded people on the IMDB forums, all rabid and ready to eat the film alive. As I said earlier this is one of my ultimate relaxation films so I find it really hard to get my head around anyone hating on this film for it's lack of depth or not being serious or realistic enough. The opening minute tells you what you're going to get, heck even the title gives it away; it's a videogame you don't control!

Shoot 'Em Up aside I've found myself listening to a lot of Skynard when I want to unwind as well, although I think I'm driving everyone around me mad by repeatedly listening to Simple Man repeatedly. Well I suppose it makes a change from Nine Inch Nails and Black Light Burns blasting out of my speakers.

I think that's about all I have to ramble on about today, be sure to tune in soon for more random rubbish!

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