In the past, I never understood why people got so upset over the deaths of celebrities. Those people grieving for Michael Jackson? I never understood that. I was always a little bit mystified about how someone could feel such grief at the passing of someone they almost assuredly never met.

I understand it now.

I never met Ryan. I always hoped to. I got tickets to PAX Australia because I heard the bombcrew were heading down under. Ryan never said a single word to me, probably didn't even know I existed. It doesn't matter. I felt the saddest I've felt in a long time when I heard about his death.

Ever since 2009, I have been a tremendous fan of this site. Ryan was an integral part of it. Sure, I know that I never got to know the "real" Ryan - only his friends and his family could ever get to know him on an intimate level. But I like to think that I understood a little bit about him and his view of the world. And I found it hilarious, fascinating, warm and full of joy. I know he had to put on a show, but even the best showman lets a little bit of himself into his performance, and I can honestly say that I felt that Ryan was one of the happiest people I've ever known about. And his happiness made others happy. It made me happy - to see someone with such an interesting take on things, talking about the things I liked, sharing his humour with anyone and everyone who wanted to see it.

I know Ryan must have put effort and time into his work, but it never seemed like that - in a good way. His work, which I can honestly say I've never, ever seen any other site come close to matching, seemed effortless. It seemed completely natural - and that's because maybe it was.

I don't know how GiantBomb can move on from this and be as it was - because Ryan isn't replaceable. There isn't another Ryan out there. There's no one with his brain, his thoughts, his view, his humour to replace him. And if that hurts from the perspective of a fan who didn't even meet him in real life, I can only imagine how shattering it is to his closest friends and to his family.

This is going to hurt. And while no one should feel glad that it is hurting, I want the bomb crew to know this - it hurts because you had a genuine connection to him. It hurts because you really were his friends. It's the price we all pay having people we like or love. That doesn't mean it wasn't worth it, not for a second.

With time, GB will move on. It has to. Ryan helped create a strong community, a happy community, and a community and a site that is going to stick together through this.

Farewell Ryan Davis. You were Rough, Tough and Dangerous. And you're missed.