What is wrong with people?

So, when my five-month-old daughter gets excited she flails her arms. Yesterday I was at Walgreens (which is like a Johns or a CVS) buying Ibuprofen, because she is teething. While shopping, a random woman came over to me and asked, “Is she autistic?” I have never felt such levels of absolute rage in my entire life. There are levels of audacity that I am willing to accept from society: being told I’m a homosexual online, having political ideology thrown in my face at Whole Foods, being told I’m a dolt on the forums, even being harassed by my wife’s parents because I’m 30 and I’m still playing video games. I can deal with that. But this crossed a line.

I guess I just see society changing. When I am shopping, people are listening to their music, but not through their headphones, but through their phone speakers. Which is my newest pet peeve. There just seems to be more and more asshole like behavior. If you want to be a douche online, that is one thing. I get it I’m not a real person just an icon, but in the real world, I guess I just expect some sort of decency.

Has the Internet killed our empathy?

There is no way to tell if she is autistic yet, but it is a real fear. No matter what, that's what she said was fucked up in every way.

46 Comments
46 Comments
Posted by ILikePopCans

Na, I think there was always, and will always be dicks in this world. The internet has not change that.

Posted by SuperSambo

Yeah, cause the world used to be a perfect place before the internet...

"Is she autisitc?"

"I dunno, she's five months old."

End scene.

Edited by bigjeffrey

I honestly would of told that lady off, fuck people.

Edited by dabe

@l4wd0g said:

Has the Internet killed our empathy?

No, but it's allowed psychopaths (sociopaths to the uninitiated) carte blanche to be utter gobshites.

Edited by development

To be honest, walking up to someone and asking "is she autistic" is a pretty autistic thing to do.

Ignore that woman.

Posted by Bocam

What is audacious about having political ideology thrown in your face at Whole Foods?

Posted by psylah

Why are you so offended? Are you the type to get all pissed when said person called you a homosexual online?

She probably has an autistic person in her family and knows the symptoms, and asked. Why take it as an insult?

Posted by Humanity

@l4wd0g: I don't know if it's because of the internet but society as a whole is somehow getting a lot more open about what they say and do in public. Certain behavior that would normally be reserved for the privacy of your home is now deemed ok just anywhere. What the internet has done for sure is somehow made a lot of people into social justice warriors and medical/law experts.

Edited by ILikePopCans

@psylah said:

Why are you so offended? Are you the type to get all pissed when said person called you a homosexual online?

She probably has an autistic person in her family and knows the symptoms, and asked. Why take it as an insult?

I'm no doctor, but it is a fucking five-month-old kid. Autistic signs don't show up that early.

It was an insult.

Posted by BigSocrates

@ilikepopcans: I doubt the woman was being insulting. She is probably very stupid and thought she was being nice. It doesn't make her behavior okay. OP's daughter is too young to manifest signs of autism as far as I know but even if she weren't, little kids do weird stuff. Even a 3 year old arm flapping does not necessarily mean autism. It could mean excitable 3-year old with a weir habit. No need to make the parent feel awkward or the kid judged. Arm flapping never hurt nobody. It's exercise. Leave the diagnosis to the medical pros.

Edited by Kaiserreich

Some people are just assholes.

Posted by Ben_H

@l4wd0g said:

I guess I just see society changing. When I am shopping, people are listening to their music, but not through their headphones, but through their phone speakers. Which is my newest pet peeve. There just seems to be more and more asshole like behavior. If you want to be a douche online, that is one thing. I get it I’m not a real person just an icon, but in the real world, I guess I just expect some sort of decency.

The people who do that deserve to get thrown into a volcano. It's the WORST. It's never good music either. Usually Miley Cyrus or some garbage like that.

Once I was out for lunch with someone who was going to do that. I threatened to leave on the spot if they hit the play button. It was among the first signals that I should not associate myself with that person and since then I have cut off all contact, for the better.

Edited by Make_Me_Mad

You can't blame people being assholes on the Internet. Well, you can if you want, but you'd be ignoring the fact that a lot people have always been and will always be pricks. That said, just walking up to someone and asking if their very small kid is autistic is kind of especially jerky, if she did do it as an insult.

Posted by BBOYS2231

Don't let it get to ya. If you do, she wins. Roll with the punches, let those people continue to be assholes because it's only hurting them in the long run.

Edited by MB

"Is she autistic?"

"Are you?"

Walk away like a bad ass.

Moderator
Posted by falserelic

Cus we live in a world where people do stupid and random things.

Posted by Flappy

Not to sound weird or creepy or anything, but where do you live? Got some Grade A Asshats where you reside.

Edited by Cybertification

I don't understand why someone has to know, I understand the reason for thinking someone has autism, having it myself(a form of it at least) I have at some points flailed my arms from stress, but I don't see why anyone would ask me if I'm autistic, they could just mind their own business and fuck off instead.

It's like going up to someone and asking if their child has diabetes, it's not a huge insult, but it's pointless.

As @development pointed out though, she could have been autistic herself, in which case she should still be told that that's a really dumb thing to do, but maybe a bit more gently.

Posted by psylah

@psylah said:

Why are you so offended? Are you the type to get all pissed when said person called you a homosexual online?

She probably has an autistic person in her family and knows the symptoms, and asked. Why take it as an insult?

I'm no doctor, but it is a fucking five-month-old kid. Autistic signs don't show up that early.

It was an insult.

Five months? I stand corrected.

Posted by JasonR86

@l4wd0g:

It was none of her business to ask and she worded her question really poorly. But I doubt she meant harm right? She could just not realize how someone might take that question. Also, I get why you would be upset but at the same time I'd be careful about how upset you get I suppose. I mean, I would imagine many people who read this thread will have known someone who is one the autistic spectrum if not autistic themselves.

Edited by JadeGL

I could see that maybe she might have felt compelled to ask based on some personal experience (she may be somewhere on the autistic spectrum or have family that are autistic) but that certainly doesn't mean that it was appropriate to go up to a complete stranger and ask them such a personal question.

The thing that gets me is that people don't seem to respect others personal boundaries anymore. When I was growing up, I was told by my parents that saying certain things to strangers is rude. Going up to a person and asking them if a family member is autistic is one of those things. It's why you don't go up to a plump woman and ask when the baby is due, or why you don't ask an amputee what happened to their limb. It's just too personal to broach. I would understand if you were getting to know someone and those things flowed from natural conversation, but just up and asking someone something like that without even a hello is a bit forward.

I won't say that she was a horrible person because I don't know her personal circumstances. Like I said, maybe she was genuinely interested or concerned. However, I can gather that she lacks tact and basic respect for another individual and their personal matters, based on dropping such a question on a complete stranger.

Posted by plaintomato

@l4wd0g said:

a random woman came over to me and asked, “Is she autistic?”

I don't see the big deal. IMO, if she is autistic you will have to learn to say "yes" with pride. In the meantime saying "we don't know" with pride might be good practice. Maybe she asked because she has autistic family and a special place in her heart for kids with autism. Maybe she sees autism as just another variance in life, and not something to get worked up over. Maybe she herself struggles with ADHD and low impulse control?

In my experience, when people are offended by people who are not trying to offend, the offended person is often part of the problem. I hope you can read that without seeing it as a personal attack...I don't know you any better than I know the random lady.

@l4wd0g said:

When I am shopping, people are listening to their music, but not through their headphones, but through their phone speakers.

Now there's some ignorance to get offended by.

Posted by RockyRaccoon37

Playing music through the speakers on your iPhone is the new boombox.

And we all know what happens with that...

Posted by Legion_

Yeah I'm not a fan of people. I think the internet is corrupting our behaviour in real life at an alarming rate. Basically, people are douches. Giant Bomb is one of few ports in the storm as far as I'm concerned.

Posted by SuperSambo

@legion_ said:

Yeah I'm not a fan of people. I think the internet is corrupting our behaviour in real life at an alarming rate. Basically, people are douches. Giant Bomb is one of few ports in the storm as far as I'm concerned.

In what way is it corrupting our behaviour?

Posted by MannyMAR

I think humanity in general is slowly losing its couth. I think we just have to find ways to adapt to change.

Edited by alwaysbebombing

@mannymar said:

I think humanity in general is slowly losing its couth. I think we just have to find ways to adapt to change.

I agree with what this guy said. 100 years ago, showing thighs made you a giant whore. Today, people (both men and women) are barely wearing clothes and it's acceptable. It's just changing times. I would also venture to say it has a lot to do with where you live. I live in a country where that shit would never fly (Switzerland) but my family (who lives in the US) sees this kind of thing commonplace.

EDIT: To address what that lady said to you. That was totally not ok, sorry that happened.

Posted by BaneFireLord

In my life, I have been asked in a serious capacity (in person, not on the internet) whether I'm a pothead, whether I'm addicted to Oxycodon, whether I'm suicidal and whether I have Asperger's. None of those traits apply to me. So yeah, people can be real dicks, but I don't think the internet is to blame. Some people are shitty people, some people aren't. It's something everyone who lives in society has to deal with at one time or another.

Posted by Everyones_A_Critic

The internet exposes you to more people than you would without it, so it makes you more aware that people fucking suck. Myself included. We're just the worst. For whatever reason the autism question doesn't bug me as much as the idea of having one of those smug fucks at Whole Foods try and push their agendas on me while I'm checking out. You pay extra to shop at that god damn place and you STILL have to deal with some dickweed college liberal yammering on and on about their half-baked theories about how they'd change the world if only they weren't relegated to their minimum wage shit job they'll never escape from because the system "has failed."

I kinda went on a tangent there but for the record I'm not a raging conservative either, I just loath the idea that I'd have to put up with hearing anyone's god damn politics when I just want my food.

Edited by TheHT

No, the internet doesn't make people into assholes. It's the other way around. People make the internet into assholes.

Think about it.

Posted by AlKusanagi

"No, she's actually a retard-detector."

Posted by Breadfan

I think a dropkick was called for in that situation.

Posted by HeyGuys

I have never seen/heard someone listening to their music on their iphone without speakers so I'm legitimately surprised that this is apparently a kind of common behavior. Also some times a random persons will do something rude, stupid, offensive, or otherwise annoying but people as a whole are pretty great.

Posted by Oldirtybearon

@l4wd0g: When I was younger (like teens to super early 20s) I used to get annoyed by parents who couldn't control their whining children. Now that I'm a grown up who has a little more perspective on life, I feel bad for the parents for being in what is an incredibly embarrassing situation. I think you'll find that yeah, a lot of people notice a howling child who flails around (because of teething, like you said), and I think what you should find encouraging is that a lot of other people just ignore it. They don't ignore it because they're afraid of "startin' somethin'" but because they're sympathetic to your situation. They don't want to draw attention to it because that's embarrassing to the parent so they just... get on with their day.

That woman in particular strikes me as a person who completely lacks perspective. Sure she's an asshole, but how many people like her do you run into on the regular?

Point I'm trying to make is that, despite how absolutely awful that woman was, and how I'm sure you badly wanted to slash her tires or punch her teeth out, the silver lining is that if people were truly as horrible as you think there'd be a lot more people like her than the ones silently pretending a wilin' out baby isn't there.

Posted by Spoonman671

You just missed your opportunity to befriend the head of the Autism Speaks foundation. Way to go.

But really, it seems like your inferring motivation that probably doesn't exist. If you had said, "yes, she was recently diagnosed," do you think that woman would have started pointing and laughing?

Posted by Video_Game_King

But really, it seems like your inferring motivation that probably doesn't exist.

Seems like a running theme in this thread. "BURN THIS WOMAN AT THE STAKE FOR WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN A MERE LACK OF TACT!"

Posted by Spoonman671

@spoonman671 said:

But really, it seems like your inferring motivation that probably doesn't exist.

Seems like a running theme in this thread. "BURN THIS WOMAN AT THE STAKE FOR WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN A MERE LACK OF TACT!"

Seriously, that kind of attitude should be reserved for moon people. They're the real scum threatening our society.

Posted by Sin4profit

Being the "glass is half full" kinda guy, i like to see it as the downfall of neurotic ideology and the uprising of unadulterated self expression.

Posted by Video_Game_King
Posted by AMyggen

@alwaysbebombing: That post makes you sound like a 70 years old conservative. People barely wearing any clothes? Where's that happening, and if so, why is it a bad thing for anyone or anything?

Anyways, the internet hasn't done shit to how rude people are in real life.

Posted by Pezen

Sometimes I wonder what some people think they'll get out of something. That woman for example, whatever you answer would be, what difference would that make to her or that situation? It's as though people's curiosity for completely arbitrary mysteries are more powerful than their ability to just go "who gives a shit?"

Posted by jsnyder82

Some people are just jerks.

Posted by Korwin

@psylah said:

Why are you so offended? Are you the type to get all pissed when said person called you a homosexual online?

She probably has an autistic person in her family and knows the symptoms, and asked. Why take it as an insult?

Because you don't fucking randomly wander up to complete strangers in public and ask them if their child has a psychological impairment.

Posted by jsnyder82

@korwin said:

@psylah said:

Why are you so offended? Are you the type to get all pissed when said person called you a homosexual online?

She probably has an autistic person in her family and knows the symptoms, and asked. Why take it as an insult?

Because you don't fucking randomly wander up to complete strangers in public and ask them if their child has a psychological impairment.

Ding ding ding! Yeah, you don't say that to a person. That demonstrates an enormous lack of tact.

I mean, I don't hate the woman. I don't know the woman. But to say something like that is just wrong. Especially when you're saying it to the parent of a newborn. It puts all this extra stress on an already stressful time in a parent's lives.

Posted by HatKing

What if she's autistic? Now who's the dick?

Edited by seveword

What if we're all autistic but then we're not and then piñatas? WHAT THEN

(but yeah, fuck this planet and everyone on it)