The Biggest Mistakes in the Kingdom Hearts Series
Crapitize me captain!
Crapitize me captain!
Nobodies. They make no damn sense at all. Listen to the pipe-dream description they have: They exist, but they don't really. They can't really feel anything because they don't have emotions, yet Axel (a nobody) feels betrayed by Roxas, and later he selflessly sacrifices his life to save Sora. Organization XIII (nobodies) aspire to create their own fake Kingdom Hearts because they long to have hearts (but it takes emotions to have aspirations and longings). Aside from all of this, they are supposed to be the "shell" left behind when someone loses their heart. In the first Kingdom Hearts, Kairi loses her heart (This is how they explain Namine, her nobody). But wait, Kairi's body doesn't disappear. So...how the heck do they explain this? They don't, this crap flies all the time in Japan without a hitch. They are the single most convoluted concept in the entire series.
My closing statement is that "Nobody" is, without a doubt, one of the stupidest things you could possibly name something. Really guys? You should have stuck to the Heartless.
Okay, so Ansem made a pretty dang good boss for the first Kingdom Hearts. Then Mickey shows up and tells me that he wasn't really Ansem (Screw you Mickey!). Xemnas might have been a good villain if he were introduced as Ansem's brother and fellow darkness enthusiast or something. Instead, they decide to pull the idea out of their butts that Ansem was actually a Heartless of this jackass named Xehanort. His nobody is a guy with a way less epic voice, that has uncertain motives. Sure, he was wanting the heart that he shouldn't be able to want because he is a nobody. Whatever. But how does making a fake Kingdom Hearts do that? It just does I guess. Anyways, Xehanort and the nobodies pretty much screwed this series completely, dooming it to illogical and convoluted mediocrity.
I hate DiZ for all the reasons I hate Xehanort. No, I will not call him "Ansem".
Sure, the guy is great in some of the old cartoons and stuff (though not as great as Donald and Goofy) but come on! A not-so-wise king with mystical powers that sets out a quest to stop the darkness from destroying all worlds. Later, he gets much worse by showing up in an overcoat and saying that darkness isn't bad. What the hell are you talking about Mickey?! Didn't you see all those people murdered and worlds eaten by the darkness? What the heck is wrong with you? You loser!
NOT the Keyblade itself. I sort of like the quirky weapon, and it's abilities. What I hate is all the ridiculous plot holes and lame ideas that now surround it. First up: multiple Keyblade Masters. The idea was originally put forward quite clearly in the first game that Riku was originally chosen by the Keyblade, but after he gave into the darkness, it chose Sora. Mickey (who I hope I've made it clear I hate in these games) was implied to be the Master of the ONLY other Keyblade. This brings me to my next issue with it: Keyblades up the wazoo! Originally, there was a Keyblade of the Realm of Light (belonging to Sora) and the Keyblade of the Realm of Darkness (belonging to Mickey). Riku has a sword made of darkness called Soul Eater. It was clearly not a Keyblade in any way, shape or form, yet became one inexplicably. How?
I guess Riku is just that cool. Also, now Keyblades (along with everything else you can imagine) can be made out of memories. How does something get "created from memories" and become a real-life usable weapon? The hell if I know. Especially since I'm pretty sure that the memories were not of giant colorful keys. Now there are THOUSANDS of freaking Keyblades, and pretty much anyone who wants one seems to have one! Keyblades! YAY! But not really. One Keyblade, one master. Should've stuck with it.
I shouldn't have to tell you why.
Pete is one of my favorite core Disney villains of all time. He was hilarious in the old Goof Troop show I grew up with, and I loved him in the Goofy Movie. These truths aside, I hated him in Kingdom Hearts. Pete is not a serious villain on any level. So why is he here? He makes a terrible threat for Sora to face.
Don't get me wrong, Maleficent made a great villain for Kingdom Hearts. She was all throughout the story. Who would have guessed
that she wasn't really in control like it seemed to everyone, including herself. But then, wait! She's back! No one questions how, she just is.
She had an epic death in the first game, and they ruined it in the second one. What the heck?
Hold it! Don't get all worked up, I am not trashing Sora at all.
On the contrary, he is one of my favorite characters in the games.
My only issue with him is this: In the first game he started off a fairly immature, very upbeat kid. As the game progressed, he matured a lot. He learned a lot in and became very caring for others during the course of his journey. He was even willing to give his life to save Kairi. At the end of Kingdom Hearts, we see a more mature, and even somewhat somber Sora. He's been believably changed by his experiences. He's seen some crazy otherworldly things, and lost everything he held dearest. His hope of seeing Kairi again, and finding Riku is what keeps him going.
In Kingdom Hearts II we see Sora has somehow become more immature than he was at the start of the first game. As far as I'm concerned, the poor character was worse in every way except that his clothes improved 100%. Shouldn't have rebooted him Square.
So sue me, I think that Kingdom Hearts would probably have been better off without highly anthropomorphic characters in it, especially as party members. I know I would have personally liked it better without them there. But in the second game, when Goofy is smarter than Sora, that just pisses me off.
As a side-note, you know how everyone greeted you "Sora! Donald! Goofy!" in Kingdom Hearts 2? Man that sucked.
Use your keyboard!
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