I Want to Rant About Prometheus: Here is My Rant

(SPOILERS OBVS).

So I didn't know anything about this movie going in. Deliberately. I avoided all the hype, the trailers, the threads you guys made, the reviews, etc. I saw this as a new sci fi movie by the guy whose work in that genre consists of 2 of my favorite movies ever. I knew it was supposed to be semi-related to the Space Jockey from Alien, but that's it. I wanted to have everything be uninfluenced when I saw it, to avoid spoilers or letdown. I know there's a couple threads about this movie already, but those guys aren't really talking about what I want to address. Which is how bad it is.

And holy balls, is it bad.

Ok, it's not all bad. The opening sequence is intriguing. The special effects are hella dope. Idris Elba is always fun to watch, and Charlize Theron is purty. Even the 3D was done in a tasteful, impressive way that supported the overall aesthetic. Other than that, though.... man. If it wasn't so high budget, I'd say this was a Syfy Channel Original, not Ridley Scott's latest.

It's like someone wanted to do an 'homage' to Alien, but they thought 'homage' meant 'use all the basic story beats, and rejigger them a little just so it's not blatantly obvious even though it still totally is'. Almost all of what happens in this movie has a direct correlation to what happens in Alien, which is a terrible idea because it automatically sets itself up for comparisons. And of course, it does not come anywhere near the level of that film. The rest of it, what's not stolen from Alien, is still a bevy of the most trite, overused sci-fi cliches since the genre began.

Let's start with the basics. The underlying premise of the entire film is that ancient civilizations knew about aliens, who possibly created us. So, yes, the central idea for the entire movie is Chariots of the Gods. We are off to a great start.

This is actually pretty close to how the movie explains it, by the way.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE: The main (?) character is a scientist, who believes in God! HOLY SHIT. You mean we're going to talk about faith and religion versus logic and facts? That's never been done before in sc-fi! And by never, I mean almost always. Don't worry, though: they don't actually have any discussions, they just make a basic nod to it, as if they knew you'd heard that conversation before and didn't actually need them to have it...

Which is actually how most of the film operates. None of the characters are actual characters. They're just versions of people you've seen in a dozen other scifi movies, and the only motivations they have are reduced to a single sentence or two, repeated occasionally in case you forgot. Some don't even have a point. The token Asian guy just sort of stands there watching everything the whole movie; he's supposedly an engineer, but I don't think he ever did anything for the entire movie. Like, at all. Other than die at the end. Also they have a fake Tom Hardy, which is automatically -10 points.

Likewise, every plot point is something you've seen in a dozen other movies, reduced to the point where they don't even feel the need to explore it. And not in a mysterious way, it's just sort of there. Want mysterious ancient constructs? Got those. Want tentacle-y monsters? Got those. Space zombies? sure. Space truckers? We got one with an accordion! What do any of them have to do with anything? Nothing, really, other than that the God Aliens actually think we kind of suck, so they made these other aliens to eat our faces, except they got their faces eaten first. Clearly the work of a superior intelligence. And of course, because we must leave no scifi trope untouched, we end it with an old rich man trying to live forever, who gets promptly killed by his supposed saviors. The two reveals about how Weyland was on the ship, and was actually Charlize Theron's dad, were so blatantly telegraphed that I was actually confused when the movie acted like they were big plot twists. The only surprising thing about this was when I realized the old man was played by Guy Pearce.

As the movie progresses, the story starts to splinter into several threads as different people have their own interactions with the aliens. But after a while, they kind of stop checking in on each other, or explaining what's going on. Like, the religious scientist lady I mentioned earlier has a self operated emergency abortion at one point (possibly the highlight of the film, because it's fucking nuts), but never tells anyone else about this. She just gets up, finds the rest of the crew and is like 'ok, what are we doing now?' Even though some of them knew she had an alien baby inside her, they don't ask 'hey what happened to the babything?' The robot guy ( yes, there's a robot, so naturally they have the 'does robot have soul?' theme that has never been done before in any scifi story ever... right?) knows about it, but he's just sort of like 'haha, you aborted the baby I was desperately trying to save, that's so silly!' This is the most absurd example, but not the only one.

The worst part about all this is that the entire thing ends up being an explanation of the source of the Aliens. That's it. They took one of the things that didn't need to be explained from a well regarded franchise, and found a way to explain that one thing, while ignoring all the parts of this story that you're actually supposed to flesh out. So... congratulations? The movie ends with people avoiding a giant wheel by running in the direction it's moving, instead of getting out of it's way, which is a pretty apt metaphor for how the whole story works. Brief efforts towards examining the greater ideas of The Meaning of Life, Creation and Death are just lip service, offhand comments made while we wait for the next crew member to die in a horrific and vaguely sexual manner.

There's probably more I could complain about, but it's 2 in the morning and it's too hot for me to think about things anymore. There was so much potential here, and it just... it's such lazy goddam writing. That's really all it is. How long till Batman comes out?

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Posted by MarkWahlberg

(SPOILERS OBVS).

So I didn't know anything about this movie going in. Deliberately. I avoided all the hype, the trailers, the threads you guys made, the reviews, etc. I saw this as a new sci fi movie by the guy whose work in that genre consists of 2 of my favorite movies ever. I knew it was supposed to be semi-related to the Space Jockey from Alien, but that's it. I wanted to have everything be uninfluenced when I saw it, to avoid spoilers or letdown. I know there's a couple threads about this movie already, but those guys aren't really talking about what I want to address. Which is how bad it is.

And holy balls, is it bad.

Ok, it's not all bad. The opening sequence is intriguing. The special effects are hella dope. Idris Elba is always fun to watch, and Charlize Theron is purty. Even the 3D was done in a tasteful, impressive way that supported the overall aesthetic. Other than that, though.... man. If it wasn't so high budget, I'd say this was a Syfy Channel Original, not Ridley Scott's latest.

It's like someone wanted to do an 'homage' to Alien, but they thought 'homage' meant 'use all the basic story beats, and rejigger them a little just so it's not blatantly obvious even though it still totally is'. Almost all of what happens in this movie has a direct correlation to what happens in Alien, which is a terrible idea because it automatically sets itself up for comparisons. And of course, it does not come anywhere near the level of that film. The rest of it, what's not stolen from Alien, is still a bevy of the most trite, overused sci-fi cliches since the genre began.

Let's start with the basics. The underlying premise of the entire film is that ancient civilizations knew about aliens, who possibly created us. So, yes, the central idea for the entire movie is Chariots of the Gods. We are off to a great start.

This is actually pretty close to how the movie explains it, by the way.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE: The main (?) character is a scientist, who believes in God! HOLY SHIT. You mean we're going to talk about faith and religion versus logic and facts? That's never been done before in sc-fi! And by never, I mean almost always. Don't worry, though: they don't actually have any discussions, they just make a basic nod to it, as if they knew you'd heard that conversation before and didn't actually need them to have it...

Which is actually how most of the film operates. None of the characters are actual characters. They're just versions of people you've seen in a dozen other scifi movies, and the only motivations they have are reduced to a single sentence or two, repeated occasionally in case you forgot. Some don't even have a point. The token Asian guy just sort of stands there watching everything the whole movie; he's supposedly an engineer, but I don't think he ever did anything for the entire movie. Like, at all. Other than die at the end. Also they have a fake Tom Hardy, which is automatically -10 points.

Likewise, every plot point is something you've seen in a dozen other movies, reduced to the point where they don't even feel the need to explore it. And not in a mysterious way, it's just sort of there. Want mysterious ancient constructs? Got those. Want tentacle-y monsters? Got those. Space zombies? sure. Space truckers? We got one with an accordion! What do any of them have to do with anything? Nothing, really, other than that the God Aliens actually think we kind of suck, so they made these other aliens to eat our faces, except they got their faces eaten first. Clearly the work of a superior intelligence. And of course, because we must leave no scifi trope untouched, we end it with an old rich man trying to live forever, who gets promptly killed by his supposed saviors. The two reveals about how Weyland was on the ship, and was actually Charlize Theron's dad, were so blatantly telegraphed that I was actually confused when the movie acted like they were big plot twists. The only surprising thing about this was when I realized the old man was played by Guy Pearce.

As the movie progresses, the story starts to splinter into several threads as different people have their own interactions with the aliens. But after a while, they kind of stop checking in on each other, or explaining what's going on. Like, the religious scientist lady I mentioned earlier has a self operated emergency abortion at one point (possibly the highlight of the film, because it's fucking nuts), but never tells anyone else about this. She just gets up, finds the rest of the crew and is like 'ok, what are we doing now?' Even though some of them knew she had an alien baby inside her, they don't ask 'hey what happened to the babything?' The robot guy ( yes, there's a robot, so naturally they have the 'does robot have soul?' theme that has never been done before in any scifi story ever... right?) knows about it, but he's just sort of like 'haha, you aborted the baby I was desperately trying to save, that's so silly!' This is the most absurd example, but not the only one.

The worst part about all this is that the entire thing ends up being an explanation of the source of the Aliens. That's it. They took one of the things that didn't need to be explained from a well regarded franchise, and found a way to explain that one thing, while ignoring all the parts of this story that you're actually supposed to flesh out. So... congratulations? The movie ends with people avoiding a giant wheel by running in the direction it's moving, instead of getting out of it's way, which is a pretty apt metaphor for how the whole story works. Brief efforts towards examining the greater ideas of The Meaning of Life, Creation and Death are just lip service, offhand comments made while we wait for the next crew member to die in a horrific and vaguely sexual manner.

There's probably more I could complain about, but it's 2 in the morning and it's too hot for me to think about things anymore. There was so much potential here, and it just... it's such lazy goddam writing. That's really all it is. How long till Batman comes out?

Posted by NTM

I'm seeing it Monday.

Online
Posted by Everyones_A_Critic
I thought it was pretty good!
Posted by Dexter_Morgan_

@Everyones_A_Critic said:

I thought it was pretty good!

Shut up butters.

Posted by Skytylz

@Everyones_A_Critic said:

I thought it was pretty good!

Same, I enjoyed it. I didn't have all the hype it seemed like most people had. The trailer didn't look that great and the movie was better than I expected!

Edited by MooseyMcMan

It was all right. I thought that Michael Fassbender's performance as David was (by far) the best thing about the movie.

I am, however, very disgruntled at how the movie just ends with no resolution other than, "tune in next time." (Which they don't actually say, but they might as well.)

I should, however, add that since the movie is a prequel to Alien directed by Ridley Scott (who directed Alien), some of the obvious "paying homage to" things that you "complained about" can be forgiven. Things that don't make sense and lack of a proper ending, however, cannot.

Moderator
Posted by stinky

movie is i thought was pretty good, but if you need to see a movie that spells everything out for you don't go see this one. you'll just be upset that you didn't get it.

we finally get to know more about the space jockeys (the promise of the movie) without us knowing everything.

dont get how the worst part is an explanation of the Aliens. its the kind of thing you want in a prequel. if they don't talk about Aliens in an Alien prequel something is wrong. for any watcher of the Alien movies its the explanation that we have known all along. so no big deal there.

Edited by believer258

I don't think I hated it as much as you did, but I certainly didn't think it was anywhere near as good as it needed to be.

And yes, I agree that the C-section scene was probably the best one followed by the question "well, aren't you going to say anything about it"? What if she had said "Guys, I just did a fuckin' C-section to myself! Isn't that awesome!?"

Posted by WickedFather

Too long, read all of it, agree with everything.  What a turnip of a film.

Posted by lazyhoboguy

So I just watched aliens resurection and I expected that to be trash, but it was semi-decent. Was much much better than Aliens 3 at least. How do you think Prometheus compares to Aliens 3 ? That was really terrible imo. I didn't read through most of your blog because I haven't seen Prometheus yet and dont want any spoilers.

Posted by MarkWahlberg

@MooseyMcMan said:

I should, however, add that since the movie is a prequel to Alien directed by Ridley Scott (who directed Alien), some of the obvious "paying homage to" things that you "complained about" can be forgiven.

Just because it's by the same director doesn't make it not bad. If he wants to do a shittier version of a movie he's already made - and spend the entire film doing callbacks to that original - fine, but don't expect me to enjoy it.

@stinky said:

if you need to see a movie that spells everything out for you don't go see this one. you'll just be upset that you didn't get it.

Except that wasn't my problem with the film at all. And they pretty much did explain everything, so in all honesty I'm not even sure what you're talking about.

@stinky said:

dont get how the worst part is an explanation of the Aliens. its the kind of thing you want in a prequel. if they don't talk about Aliens in an Alien prequel something is wrong. for any watcher of the Alien movies its the explanation that we have known all along. so no big deal there.

You basically proved my point and disproved your own. There wasn't really any reason for them to explain anything about the Space Jockeys, because Alien wasn't the kind of movie that spells everything out for you. Maybe the people who like this one are the ones who didn't 'get' Alien? I dunno. And if this is the "explanation we have known all along", then why did they make a movie based on explaining it? But again, none of this is why I don't like the movie. There was plenty of potential for this to be cool even with the Space Jockey stuff, but the dialogue, characters, and how they handled the plot were just really fucking dumb. That's all.

@lazyhoboguy said:

So I just watched aliens resurection and I expected that to be trash, but it was semi-decent. Was much much better than Aliens 3 at least. How do you think Prometheus compares to Aliens 3 ? That was really terrible imo. I didn't read through most of your blog because I haven't seen Prometheus yet and dont want any spoilers.

It's been a long time since I've seen 3, but I remember thinking it was pretty alright. Never understand the hate that gets. I've never seen Resurrection all the way though, but it seems like a mildly entertaining B movie, I don't hate it but I don't much love it either. Prometheus comes closest to Resurrection out of any of that franchise, so if you like that you're probably find this entertaining.

Posted by Tylea002

Man, fuck Prometheus. It didn't have characters, the dialogue was simply people stating, in obvious prose, the themes which you were meant to be thinking about. There was no subtlety, no nuance and even more criminally all of the themes have been explored before, far better, by the same fucking director.

Fucking Starship Troopers is miles and miles above this film on how to convey subtext and themes.

Come to think of it, this film could learn a lot from Starship Troopers. Now that's a film.

Posted by ZoomyRamen

It's atrocious through and through. Writing was bad, acting was bad (Apart from Fassbender, but he was only good and was bettered by both Holm and Henrikksen). So many logical inconcistences. For example, why the FUCK would scientists take off their helmet on an unknown planet...It just wouldn't happen, no matter what the equipment said. Dumb dumb dumb.

Posted by Brewmaster_Andy

*shrug* I liked it.

Posted by HistoryInRust

The Charlize Theron "father" reveal was dumb as hell, and the dude who becomes a super-powerful space zombie felt arbitrary. But otherwise I quite enjoyed how this film approached the creator/created discussion.

It's a lot like The Matrix Reloaded, from what I remember. At some point the philosophy it wants to chase becomes more important for filling the holes in the script than the actual narrative threads themselves. And while that's probably not excusable I found myself totally engaged by it.

Posted by SirPsychoSexy

Meh, I thought it was fucking awesome

Posted by Shookems

I was super disappointing by this movie. Granted, my expectations were blown way out of proportion, and I understood that going in.

But, man, it could have been so much better.

Posted by BlatantNinja23

@MooseyMcMan: the "proper" ending doesn't bother me. I guess part of it for me is I wanna theorize about what happens to shaw, and how what happens on LV-223 then leads to LV-426. IDK, I guess I'm just ok if none of that ever gets touched on.

Posted by TheSouthernDandy

I though the movie was great. And I "get" the alien movies.

Edited by DeeGee

Why did he become a fucking space zombie? That's my biggest problem with this movie. You can't just chuck that in there and hope nobody is going to notice that a space zombie has nothing to do with anything in the film.

There was the space zombie, the space snake that the Geologist decides is a smart idea to stroke because why not, there's the Engineers, there's the squid baby, there's the proto-Alien ...

It came to a point where I had no idea what was going on because there are like five different aliens all competing to kill the cast for reasons unknown.

Posted by mandude

@MooseyMcMan: I didn't think the ending was improper. It resolved the main thread in the movie, that thread being "Oh no, aliens are killing us". If you're referring to the unresolved question "Why did they create us?", then I think you're meant to gleam what you can from the subtext revolving around David's own creation and make your own interpretation.

Posted by RenMcKormack

Mike Fassbender is bad ass. I would have watched a movie of him playing basketball on a bicycle for 2 hours.

Posted by bibamatt

I adored the movie and can't wait to see it again. I've been devouring all the theories that people have been putting forward since seeing the film. Loved the aesthetic, the mood. Just everything really. I saw it a couple of weeks ago (it came out early in the UK) and came out thinking 'this is going to be huge' and have been constantly baffled that so many people apparently hated it since. Sorry you didn't like it though! It's always crushing when you love a franchise and a new installment doesn't live up to it. Hello, Alien Resurrection.

Edited by Bobby_The_Great
@MarkWahlberg: I totally agree. I feel it was a B movie with a $100 million budget. The first half of the movie was pretty good and intriguing, despite the characters, namely Charlize Theron and Geologist guy, being as 1 dimensional as a line.   
 
And seriously, for a TRILLION dollar project, the people chosen are the dumbest scientist/military/whatever I've ever seen:
 
- go to new alien planet, take helmet off just because oxygen levels are okay.  

- see new alien species that CLEARLY resembles something like a cobra, try to get close and talk to it in baby talk to "soothe it."  

- take new alien head into a confined ship just to study it, and blow it up because you try to reanimate it. (this one really pisses me off because taking a foreign ANYTHING onto a ship was the whole ordeal of the first Alien film!? How did Ridley not remember this which was his own basic protocol!?)  

- touch unknown alien goo with hands, just because. 
 
- don't bring any weapons of any devastating kind, just a few pistols and flame throwers. Obviously oblivious to possibility of hostile or dangerous beings on the moon they are on...
 
- I could go on and on about the dumb, idiotic things this "experienced" and "chosen" team shouldn't have done, and I have nothing but a bachelor's degree in Journalism, not a doctor's degree in whatever respected field would be necessary to be chosen for a journey and discovery like this. 
 
About the time they revealed what the "space jockey" was I checked out, I was severely disappointed in what they were. The dialogue and character designs were terrible, and everything happened just "because." The scientist (forget his name) who gets infected by David putting that strand of DNA in his drink, who is burned and then turns into a zombie-monster for no reason? That was bullshit. Squid monster in Noomi's character? Dumb. Final confrontation with space jockey and squid monster filling in fan service for a Xenomorph was the worst afterthought ever.  
 
It sucks because the movie had parts that were intriguing, but the rest is absolutely lackluster and makes me not think of it as ANY part of the Alien canon. 
Posted by betterboulder

I completely agree with the rant but still found the movie enjoyable at least just for visuals. All in all, it doesn't actually take away from/ruin the awesomeness of the Alien franchise so at least I can give it that.

Posted by MooseyMcMan

@mandude: No, I mean that it ends with Shaw and David flying off to into space. I don't really care about the "why did they create us" question, I care about the two surviving characters and the fact that there is no resolution as to what happens to them. The ending felt very abrupt to me, and very much like a "find out what happens next time" kind of thing, and I didn't like that.

Moderator
Posted by WMWA

I really liked the movie, but your rant made me laugh. Good job. The only thing I was confused about was what were David's motivations? Still unclear on that and it's bothering me

Posted by WMWA
@DeeGee

Why did he become a fucking space zombie? That's my biggest problem with this movie. You can't just chuck that in there and hope nobody is going to notice that a space zombie has nothing to do with anything in the film.

There was the space zombie, the space snake that the Geologist decides is a smart idea to stroke because why not, there's the Engineers, there's the squid baby, there's the proto-Alien ...

It came to a point where I had no idea what was going on because there are like five different aliens all competing to kill the cast for reasons unknown.

This too! Anyone know why the hell he just went aggro?
Posted by mandude

@MooseyMcMan: I didn't get that impression. They could have returned to Earth if they so wished, so as far as the scope of the movie goes, it seems pretty resolved. That being that they survived and made it through the whole ordeal.

Posted by stinky

@wmaustin55 said:

@DeeGeeThis too! Anyone know why the hell he just went aggro?

whole planet is an experiment in germ warfare. could be many different types or forms of attack.

be it incubation of aliens or aggro. its left largely to the imagination.

Posted by FilipHolm

It was two hours of fun. But the writing was atrociously bad sometimes, I agree. And the fact that they obviously had some really cool ideas makes the whole thing extra sad.

Posted by GunslingerPanda

Actually it was really good. If people want to hate on the movie because it doesn't wrap everything up, why the fuck are you going to see a movie written by Damon Lindelof?

Online
Posted by Solidsnak

@MarkWahlberg: Dude, you are completely right, that movie was bad. My overall issue with it was that everyone seemed too stupid to handle actually getting to the planet in the first place, that and the fact that once you walk about 10 feet away from someone they can't hear you screaming. Whole movie turned into boring horror tropes.

Edited by EXTomar

It isn't that people hate the movie because it fails to wrap everything up but these are points the writers/director/etc went out of their way to point out then don't give a satisfactory explanation on why they pointed something out let alone explain it. It is a risky way to tell a story because it can easily backfire because using "...isn't that a mystery" isn't good storytelling when they use it as a conclusion instead of a introduction.

And often times when a movie raises issues and fails to address them it isn't a failure of the audience "getting it" but instead it is a failure on the production side "getting it".

Posted by MikkaQ

@DeeGee said:

Why did he become a fucking space zombie? That's my biggest problem with this movie. You can't just chuck that in there and hope nobody is going to notice that a space zombie has nothing to do with anything in the film.

There was the space zombie, the space snake that the Geologist decides is a smart idea to stroke because why not, there's the Engineers, there's the squid baby, there's the proto-Alien ...

It came to a point where I had no idea what was going on because there are like five different aliens all competing to kill the cast for reasons unknown.

I still don't get why the space zombie confuses people, he fell face first into the pool of alien mutant bacteria whatever after his helmet melted off. Same with the space-snake, they kept showing shots of worms in the chamber next to the pots that were spewing out the mutate-y stuff, I put two and two together and that shit is a mutant worm.

I actually didn't mind all that space-mutagen stuff, cause it gave a variety of horrible creatures while making some sense because of the bacteria stuff affecting different things. A movie just about horrible space viruses has potential. What I didn't like was the need to supplement all that with a traditional movie monster (the pissed Engineer) that stalks the cast around like a cheesy slasher villain.

Posted by Little_Socrates

I thought it was pretty awesome. As a horror film, it's not an exercise in innovation, it's an exercise in just how many things can go wrong at once. This, of course, peaks at the caesarian scene, which is one of very few things I never ever want to see again. Meanwhile, Fassbender was fantastic and recalled Rutger Hauer's iconic role in Blade Runner. I think people drastically overlook the quality of the scene where he first finds the Space Jockey room and walks through the space map and all that. That's possibly his best scene in the film! The cinematography was beyond gorgeous, the music was fantastic, and I actually really enjoyed that final space shot (before the Alien connection came in, when it's implied Shaw might just want to fucking RAM that Engineer war ship into the Engineer planet.)

However, the Alien connections are extremely frustrating because they make much of the film feel pointless. You're right that outside of David and Shaw, we don't really get any full characters. The supporting cast comes across as that of a James Cameron film, down to a couple of really goofy human "villains." I was really excited when Guy Pearce had come up in the credits because I really like Guy Pearce, but what a waste of your second-best actor! And the twenty minutes BEFORE Shaw finds David and prepares to pilot the other Engineer ship are predictable, rote, and disappointing.

It's these problems that make Prometheus such a difficult film. I really want to love it for all the things I think it does right. So long as I ignore many of the Alien connections, that's far easier to do. But it's still a flawed film even without them; I'm glad I'm not reviewing it.

Edited by WickedFather

Sign my petition to have this film remade with more chasing down corridors, shooting big rifles down corridors, hiding in an air vent above a corridor while something creeps in the corridor below, almost sniffing the air for you before going off down a different corridor and maybe... ummm, zero g boobs in a space shower that uses oil instead of water?
 
edit: ps, that is the film I want.  I keep my thinking films and shootan films seperate.

Posted by MarkWahlberg

@Tylea002 said:

Man, fuck Prometheus. It didn't have characters, the dialogue was simply people stating, in obvious prose, the themes which you were meant to be thinking about. There was no subtlety, no nuance and even more criminally all of the themes have been explored before, far better, by the same fucking director.

Fucking Starship Troopers is miles and miles above this film on how to convey subtext and themes.

Come to think of it, this film could learn a lot from Starship Troopers. Now that's a film.

This guy. This guy right here.

@wmaustin55 said:

I really liked the movie, but your rant made me laugh. Good job. The only thing I was confused about was what were David's motivations? Still unclear on that and it's bothering me

That was one of the few things I kind of liked, or at least liked my interpretation of it. The whole time we're wondering just how much he actually hates everyone else, and what sort of instructions he's getting from Weyland. But by the end, it's pretty clear he's largely incapable of rational independent thought and is taking orders from a man who hasn't the slightest idea what's going on. That's why he puts the goo in the drink, because neither he nor Weyland truly understand the situation. Noomi Whatserface ends the film by basically calling him an idiot, and I think that's kind of a clever twist on the 'mysterious robot who's smarter and more capable than everyone else' cliche. Which I suspect is just me giving the screenwriters more credit than they're due for a poorly written character arc, but still.

@MikkaQ said:

@DeeGee said:

It came to a point where I had no idea what was going on because there are like five different aliens all competing to kill the cast for reasons unknown.

I still don't get why the space zombie confuses people, he fell face first into the pool of alien mutant bacteria whatever after his helmet melted off. Same with the space-snake, they kept showing shots of worms in the chamber next to the pots that were spewing out the mutate-y stuff, I put two and two together and that shit is a mutant worm.

I actually didn't mind all that space-mutagen stuff, cause it gave a variety of horrible creatures while making some sense because of the bacteria stuff affecting different things. A movie just about horrible space viruses has potential. What I didn't like was the need to supplement all that with a traditional movie monster (the pissed Engineer) that stalks the cast around like a cheesy slasher villain.

If they had established a little earlier that this was, like, a bio-weapons lab that was filled with different projects, they could easily have turned it into a batshit insane Jurassic Park kinda thing or something, where every 5 minutes there's some new crazy monster. As it was, though, we're so busy trying to figure out what's going on that it was just hard to figure out how any of these things was related to each other, or even how they work in the first place. Mouth Rapist worms and alien zombies that never are referred to again are just frustrating. If they had put the zombie scene before fake Tom Hardy got infected, his being burned would have made much more sense, and probably help us understand what the goo does.

Not to mention, the whole zombie thing felt like it was ripped straight from The Thing. Super strength, screeching, flamethrowers, even that weird little spider stance he does when they find him. I mean, I would pay good money to see Alien Vs. Thing, but that's not what this movie was, unfortunately. Which is too bad, because setting up the Thing as their final bioweapon project would have been fucking insane, and totally work.

@Little_Socrates said:

I thought it was pretty awesome. As a horror film, it's not an exercise in innovation, it's an exercise in just how many things can go wrong at once. This, of course, peaks at the caesarian scene, which is one of very few things I never ever want to see again. Meanwhile, Fassbender was fantastic and recalled Rutger Hauer's iconic role in Blade Runner. I think people drastically overlook the quality of the scene where he first finds the Space Jockey room and walks through the space map and all that. That's possibly his best scene in the film! The cinematography was beyond gorgeous, the music was fantastic, and I actually really enjoyed that final space shot (before the Alien connection came in, when it's implied Shaw might just want to fucking RAM that Engineer war ship into the Engineer planet.)

I mean, most horror films require Murphy's Law in order to even work. But it's never really clear what exactly is going wrong, either, and they basically ignore everything that's happened once Weyland comes out anyway. The Space Map scene was fucking cool (especially in 3D), I'll give you that, but I didn't feel that it had any emotional impact other than hinting at giving the robot a stronger connection with the Engineers than the humans had. Which could have been a really interesting direction to take, but they never really followed up on it at all. Fassbender was good though, especially the running gag of him doing a Peter O'Toole impression the whole time and no one noticing.

@RenMcKormack said:

Mike Fassbender is bad ass. I would have watched a movie of him playing basketball on a bicycle for 2 hours.

They told him he had no soul. But he had a dream. A dream to play the game. This December, watch as a man becomes more than just machine, in: Love & Basketball II: Android Hoop Dreams.

Edited by ichthy

I still don't understand why why David contaminated the guy's drink, unless it was just a plot device to set up a gnarly alien c-section scene.

Also I thought it was the guy who fell fast first into the goo that went crazy mutant zombie, not the guy they torched. Jesus that part was confusing.

Posted by MikkaQ

@MarkWahlberg: Because of all that I have a feeling it's a movie that might get better upon a second screening, or a movie that needs a sequel to truly explore the premise that's laid out, but yeah this movie just didn't quite meet it's potential. It was at it's best when it was evoking 2001.

Edited by betterboulder

@ichthy: It seems David's only motivation was nothing other than curiosity. He was probably also a bit pissed that the male scientist was kinda making fun of him.

And the first guy who got torched was the male (poisoned) scientist. He wanted to be torched because he was risking the rest of the crew, including his girlfriend, not being let back onto the ship. The zombie was the mohawk guy from the alien worm scene who got his helmet burned off by the alien worm's blood and fell into the goo. He returned with a swollen head and attacked people. They torched him but finally killed him by running him over.

Posted by Jackel2072

To quote imdb. Directed by a professional, written by a 5th grader.

Posted by mandude

@betterboulder said:

@ichthy: It seems David's only motivation was nothing other than curiosity. He was probably also a bit pissed that the male scientist was kinda making fun of him.

I got the impression that it was because he was bitter at humanity. Everyone treated him like a tool (literally) because he was only a robot. Even his creator mentioned the fact that he was different because he didn't have a soul.

Posted by leebmx

I totally agree with you man, well written blog I just got back from seeing it and was walking round the park in the rain having angry conversations in the rain with myself about how stupid so much of it was. It started well, and looked great but went seriously downhill.

The things that annoyed me most that you didn't mention were how they engineered most of the action/scares by having people just do totally stupid, out of character stuff. For example the two geologists that get left behind in in the ship near the start are naturally very scared at first, being left alone in a big gloomy, alien construction. Then they find a big pile of dead bodies which freaks them out even more. This is all natural and believeable but by the time they get into the main hall later and meet the alien for the first time it turns into a Harold and Kumar movie. These are fucking space scientists, you don't react to seeeing an alien speices by assuming its friendly and trying to tickle it under the chin. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

It just bugs me when they have to resort to getting suposedly clever characters to act stupid in order to put them in any dangers - opening the bay doors after Holloway.

I also enjoyed/hated the way she tried to use the operation machine and it goes 'sorry men only' and then she gets in anyway and somehow this super hi-tec piece of kit can't even tell she is female.

Lastly was the way she tells Idris Elba that they have to bring down the Promethean ship and without any explanation he just decides to plow on into it ending his life and his crewmates follow without complaint.

Shame really, but then it was probably an unnecessary film to make, however I could have taken a film of fan service if wasn't done so lazily.

Posted by LastNinja

Loved it. Been a long time since I squirmed in my seat at the theatre.

Posted by xer096

@mandude said:

@betterboulder said:

@ichthy: It seems David's only motivation was nothing other than curiosity. He was probably also a bit pissed that the male scientist was kinda making fun of him.

I got the impression that it was because he was bitter at humanity. Everyone treated him like a tool (literally) because he was only a robot. Even his creator mentioned the fact that he was different because he didn't have a soul.

I was thinking it was because Weyland(?)'s reason for even funding the mission was to get the engineers to give him eternal life, or at least cure him to live longer. I figured that David poisoned Tom Hardy partly because he was being a dick and out of curiosity of thinking that the black goo was a cure for the old man.

Posted by mandude

@xer096 said:

@mandude said:

@betterboulder said:

@ichthy: It seems David's only motivation was nothing other than curiosity. He was probably also a bit pissed that the male scientist was kinda making fun of him.

I got the impression that it was because he was bitter at humanity. Everyone treated him like a tool (literally) because he was only a robot. Even his creator mentioned the fact that he was different because he didn't have a soul.

I was thinking it was because Weyland(?)'s reason for even funding the mission was to get the engineers to give him eternal life, or at least cure him to live longer. I figured that David poisoned Tom Hardy partly because he was being a dick and out of curiosity of thinking that the black goo was a cure for the old man.

Hmm, I figured that since David could read all the alien writings that he was leading them to their doom from the start intentionally.

Well, I suppose what really went down is open for interpretation and it is encouraging discussion, which is why at least IN MY OPINION, it was a pretty good movie.

Posted by TentPole

@MarkWahlberg said:

If they had established a little earlier that this was, like, a bio-weapons lab that was filled with different projects, they could easily have turned it into a batshit insane Jurassic Park kinda thing or something, where every 5 minutes there's some new crazy monster. As it was, though, we're so busy trying to figure out what's going on that it was just hard to figure out how any of these things was related to each other, or even how they work in the first place. Mouth Rapist worms and alien zombies that never are referred to again are just frustrating. If they had put the zombie scene before fake Tom Hardy got infected, his being burned would have made much more sense, and probably help us understand what the goo does.

That's you problem right there. If you want space Jurassic park then this film is not for you. What you get is the most thematically interesting sci-fi film since Blade Runner.

Posted by wewantsthering

@DeeGee: The point is that all of the ships had different biological weapons. Those were just one of them. Xenomorph's were probably on another one of those ships.

Posted by Jay444111

@EXTomar said:

It isn't that people hate the movie because it fails to wrap everything up but these are points the writers/director/etc went out of their way to point out then don't give a satisfactory explanation on why they pointed something out let alone explain it. It is a risky way to tell a story because it can easily backfire because using "...isn't that a mystery" isn't good storytelling when they use it as a conclusion instead of a introduction.

And often times when a movie raises issues and fails to address them it isn't a failure of the audience "getting it" but instead it is a failure on the production side "getting it".

...

So... Mass Effect 3 syndrome then?

Yeah.... Sorry but I had to go there.

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